Who can do as much as they can

The governor of a poor region found himself in a difficult life situation. He needs to urgently carry out the presidential instructions: raise salaries for state employees, repair roads, and everything else that was promised to people from the lord’s shoulder during the elections.

The poor fellow hinted that he had no money, and that it wasn’t that he had spent it all, but that it simply never happened. But they looked at him so much that he choked and said: “We’ll find the money!” Don’t doubt it!” For which he was immediately patted on the shoulder.

And, indeed, it’s a shitty question. Fulfilling the president's instructions required almost as much money as the entire regional budget. Consolidated.

But the wrong one was attacked. The Russians don't give up. And he decided to take advantage of the political moment and inconsistency at the top.

The opportunity came quickly. While flying around the country, Air Force One landed at the only airport in the region. ABOUT! We've been waiting for you!
Meeting the first person, our quick-witted, cheerful governor took with him a folder that had been carefully collected for the Ministry of Finance. I decided to hand it over by express. I thought I was the smartest.

In 30 seconds, he quickly talked about the affairs of the region, assured of loyalty and promised even more than 70 percent, and bowed to his daddy: “You’re already there, master, you’ll do the work.” The master nodded. He put the folder under his arm. He patted him on the shoulder patronizingly. And got on the plane.

The governor waved after him for a long, long time. I didn't wear a hat.

The next day the governor called the Ministry of Finance. He started from afar: “Governor so-and-so is calling you. Didn’t they give you daddy there?” And to him: “Which daddy?” “Well, the little blue one, with the documents...” “Who should have handed it over???” “Like who?! Putin! There is bewildered silence on the other end: “Call me back.”

The next day he called again. And he shook it until the evening. They brought up the minister, the deputy minister, the assistants, their assistants, and even interrogated the cleaning lady - no one saw the folder. And there, by the way, in a folder, all the documents are collected to receive an amount equal to the regional budget. Consolidated, by the way! Go put them back together now. And where can I look for this folder now? What, call on board number one and ask: “Excuse me, please, did the king happen to leave your little blue daddy somewhere?”
It just seems funny. The president’s instructions must be carried out, but there is no money and no money in sight.

The governor did not sleep. Lost weight. And suddenly he discovered that some wild line was spinning in his head day and night: “If you don’t have money, I’ll teach you where to get it - sell the cow, in your mouth...!”

And the governor came to the Ministry of Finance. I attended a reception with the deputies. Having learned the required amount, they reassured him: “We’ll decide.” And they were almost leading him to the bins, but at the last moment they suddenly realized that he had arrived empty-handed. And he is an experienced man: he understood that things couldn’t be done that way, but he thought he would screw it up. It seems like they shouldn’t, poor fellows, take money from him for providing money to carry out presidential assignments! Yeah, dreamer. So he left with nothing.

But the order must be carried out. But the Ministry of Finance does not give money without money. Moreover, you will laugh, they take the rollback forward. The mechanism must start. When will the first tranche arrive in the region, but life in Moscow requires it, and the money is needed now.

And so the governor walked around with his hat in a circle. And in order to be given money, he needs to explain why. And he honestly tells everyone that he needs money in order to bring it to the Ministry of Finance, after which the Ministry of Finance will allocate money to him, with which he will carry out the president’s instructions...

And at this point they usually ask him, how are you going to return the money to us? To which he, a hereditary peasant, honestly explains: “So, it will probably remain there...”.

Isn't it funny?

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