About the Court and the Roth

Tomorrow another story of mine, based on real events, will be published in the latest issue of “Newspaper Our Version”. In the meantime - from what has already been published: " Mouth ". This is a light option with prevention against the new toy of power - slander. I don’t have an extra 5,000,000, so I have to reformat a little:

“It was very hot in the meeting room of one of the courts. The kvass was cold, of course, no one drank glasses, partly due to the vigilance of the local security service, whose employees indiscriminately took bottles containing liquid from visitors to the House of Themis. You can understand them - upon examination In one case or another, there was always (with rare exceptions of “settlement agreements”) one satisfied and one extremely dissatisfied party. You can expect anything from the latter - either acid will be thrown in the face of the offending judge, or, worse, nitroglycerin will be smuggled into the building, and that’s it. then hold on...

The judge, looking like a retired Batman in his robe, once again wiped his sweaty, plump face with a handkerchief. But the process had not even begun yet: the defendant, who appeared in court half an hour before the start of the hearing of the claim, was still familiarizing himself with the demands that a high-ranking person had made of him. This female person is engaged in a very significant business in our city. So significant that in any case it would be possible, without much hesitation, to make a decision in favor of the plaintiff. But, alas, there are all sorts of regulations, protocols and other nonsense that must be observed for appearances. Otherwise, all democracy in the country will be covered with a copper basin, and this is practically a crime against the homeland.

Finally, the judge couldn't stand it. So what if the thin boy, brought into the courtroom from a military unit with a long number, located either near Orenburg or near Samara, half an hour ago had no idea why the hell he was dragged to his hometown, he didn’t even having written out a packed lunch for the road? If you know how to read, then you managed to familiarize yourself with at least half of the statement of claim prepared by the lawyers of the respected citizen. And let him compose his objections during the hearings.

The judge nodded to the secretary.

“A civil case is being heard on the claim of Morgendorfen D.Yu. to Chesnokov O.E. about the protection of honor, dignity, business reputation and compensation for moral damage,” the girl sitting in the left corner of the meeting room jabbered. - The plaintiff and defendant appeared at the court hearing in full. The presiding judge is Varitas Mentiri.”

The hall became quiet. So quietly that the defendant - Oleg Chesnokov - managed to think: “What is it like when people don’t show up in full?” And one more thing: “Varitas-Varitas... Where does he come from with such a name? Well, yes, the Saratov region borders on Kazakhstan, and then there is either Mongolia or China...” Then the guy forcibly pulled himself out of the observation deck hanging over an imaginary map of the world, and returned him to the stuffy courthouse, to a shabby bench. Here, in sad reality, under the watchful and somehow evil gaze of the judge, Oleg had only one thought racing through his head, which can be expressed briefly: “I’m in trouble!”

“So, citizen Daria Morgendorfen filed a claim with the court, asking for a legal and timely decision to be made against the defendant Chesnokov,” the judge muttered barely audibly, so that the participants in the process involuntarily leaned forward to better understand the speaker’s speech. - The statement states that the defendant caused the plaintiff enormous moral suffering, damaged her dignity, and discredited the plaintiff in the eyes of others. Moreover, today the statement was supplemented by demands for compensation to the plaintiff for lost profits. There has not yet been a motion to this effect, but the court, deliberating on the spot, decided that at this stage it finds it appropriate to accept this addition...

The judge looked reproachfully at Chesnokov, who, like a first-grader at his desk, was shaking his raised hand:

- What's happened?

- I beg your pardon, but what is this... Well, as you said... Walking... Walking? - Oleg mumbled uncertainly.

The secretary giggled, not taking her eyes off the piece of paper on which she was continuously writing something down even when everyone was silent.

- Young man, you will be given the floor. Later! And if you interrupt the process and violate discipline, the court will reprimand you and record it in the protocol! I hope we won’t return to this issue,” the judge snapped. - So, the statement says that last fall, citizen O.E. Chesnokov, who had reached military age, shortly before being sent to a military unit, entered into an intimate relationship of an oral nature with plaintiff D.Yu. Morgendorfen. As noted, the defendant was satisfied with everything, however, two days after these events, namely on September 29, Chesnokov O.E. organized a farewell party with the participation of a large circle of male friends. During this event, the defendant, in a state of moderate alcoholic intoxication, publicly stated the following words related to the plaintiff: “This fool has a crooked mouth. I didn’t get any pleasure - I scratched everything with my teeth.” The plaintiff asks the court to recognize this information as false and defamatory, infringing on honor, dignity and business reputation. To recover from the defendant compensation for moral damage in the amount of one million rubles, as well as lost profits in the amount of three million rubles. Oblige the defendant, within ten subsequent years from the date of the court decision, to refute, at any appropriate opportunity, the false information disseminated by him and named above.

The judge was silent for a while, and then added:

- Does the plaintiff support the demands?

“In full,” Daria Morgendorfen answered loudly.

- Does the defendant admit the demands?

- I... ummm... - Oleg stood up from the bench and froze in a half-bent position. “In full,” he either stated or asked.

- That is, you agree with the plaintiff’s arguments and demands that I just read? - no longer hiding joy, the judge clarified.

Chesnokov thought for a moment, ran his hand over his sweaty forehead, was about to agree again so that they would leave him alone, but suddenly he realized what they wanted from him:

- No no! I thought that everyone should answer this way... I don’t support a million and three million. I don’t have that kind of money... And I don’t remember at all what I said or didn’t say then. More than six months have already passed!

- What do you say to the fact that the plaintiff presented written explanations from fourteen of your friends? - muttered the judge, upset by the defendant’s sudden insight. - Friends who, by the way, repeat word for word the story told by the plaintiff! Isn't this convincing evidence?

Oleg Chesnokov squinted, trying to make out at least a word on one of the papers that the judge was shaking, but he didn’t see anything.

- Well, maybe. But if so, I swear to God, what I said then is the pure truth and there is no lie here! I just couldn’t... You understand, I’m not this guy at all, don’t... I’m not an empty talker. Here. If I said something, then it means it is so. And why should I now pay someone millions for the truth?

The judge sighed - the situation was becoming more and more catastrophic. If he does not make a decision on this case today and as soon as possible, then a dozen more similar claims scheduled for today will smoothly creep into tomorrow. And this “tomorrow” already has its own dozen of exactly the same things! It is clear that the defendant has already admitted his guilt, or rather, admitted that he uttered a defamatory phrase in relation to a highly respected person. Now the only thing left to do is to prove that what this Chesnokov said is a blatant and malicious lie. Varitas Mantiri thought a little more and made the only right decision:

- The court, conferring on the spot, decided to announce a break in the meeting for forty minutes to conduct a forensic examination. Appoint a presiding officer, that is, me, as an expert. During the independent examination, all persons participating in the case, with the exception of the plaintiff - Morgendorfen D.Yu., must leave the courtroom. The secretary will call you at the appointed time.

When Daria and the judge remained behind a closed door to conduct a mysterious experiment, Oleg Chesnokov (accompanied by a bailiff) was taken for a smoke break. Taking a drag on his cigarette again and again, he thought first about the origin of the judge’s name, then about the incredibly huge sum of four million rubles... In the end, the guy decided: the most important thing in this matter is to understand what “walking” is and where it is being applied for. And then it will somehow be easier. After all, the independent examination announced by the judge (no matter how they conduct it) will still prove the correctness of his words. The mouth, if it is naturally crooked, then remains so.

So everything is covered here. And there are no questions at all about the dignity of citizen Morgendorfen. Oleg smiled to himself: “It would be better if the judge thought about his dignity now. This is much more necessary at the time of conducting a forensic experiment.”

* * *

Three years after the events described, a migrant worker janitor, sweeping striped curbs in one of the city districts, accidentally woke up a homeless-looking guy. He quietly settled down behind a huge poplar, covered himself with some newspapers, and was hit right in the ear with a plastic broom comb. The janitor was already prepared to listen to abuse addressed to him, but he was very surprised when the guy, so brazenly awakened, lit a cigarette and suddenly began to talk in all colors about some wonderful creature called Morgendorfen. Like, this creature has the best mouth in the world.

- Well, off to the seltzers with your Molgendorfin! - the migrant worker said in fear and hurried away from the crazy boy.

(According to the Saratov Regional Court, only in the region’s cassation instance from January 2011 to July 2012, 28 cases of the category “On the protection of honor, dignity, business reputation” were considered...)"