Boris Akunin: "Stupid incident"

“The writer had a very sweet wife and a nice son, but the main creature in the house was the cat. Everything was subordinated to the interests of his catness. The hostess warned me: “Try to please Murzik... If he doesn’t like the guest, he can shit on the pillow.” This has already happened." After such a warning, I, of course, began to treat Murzik with servility. And he accepted my attentions favorably. He rubbed against me, even sat on his knees, which caused the owners to be flatteredly surprised... And that’s how “One time, when I returned home in the evening, this wonderful lady greeted me terribly upset,” she asked tragically, “are we feeding you poorly?”... It turned out that while remaking my bed, she found a dirty piece under the pillow. liver. And she imagined that I had saved it for myself..."