A rooster without a head

After all, I do not want to say anything unpleasant about "central television".

Still, the last thread connecting many of us with the TV. Which, of course, cannot be watched, and even more so the NTV channel, but it is believed that “CT” is still possible-it is made by the heirs of great traditions, the students of Parfenov, and just pretty people, talented, with humor. And we understand in what conditions they are, how difficult it is for them, what you have to endure and what sacrifices to make for a couple of standing chips for an hour of airtime.

Now the “CT” is now averted more time, but the number of standing chips is unlikely to be increased - the pauses between them will become longer, and there will be even more sacrifices, it was clear already at the end of last season, when they decided to reformat the program. Then the channel abandoned NTVshnikov and parted with a number of creative employees, and Nikolai Kartosia, who invented the Central, has been involved in the process of reformatting from afar, as a third -party manufacturer.

In short, thanks for living. In the spring, it seemed that the jokes ended completely, along with the era of the Surkovsky postmodern, that the skills of virtuoso tetlotroling and the art of reading between the lines should be forgotten, since the conversation went another, straight and artless, rough language of the poster. But by virtue of the retrograde movement, the planid in the fall, we gently returned to the elegant age. The posters were dry, V. Surkov again in the vanguard, V. Kulistikov again took up the feather, NTV congratulates V. Gusinsky on Saturday, and on Sunday - V. Putin, and N. Kartosia again releases the “CT”, albeit in the role of a third -party manufacturer.

The program was released two days after the loud premiere of “ Anatomy of Protest - 2 ”, shown, as usual, as part of the Extraordinary incident program, its team is usually instructed to fight dissent. The phenomenon of the updated “central television” seems to be intended to rehabilitate NTV in the eyes of the dissenters, hinting that the channel is not alien to some pluralism. But if you look closely, in the new version of the “CT” more like “Russian sensations” and “emergency incident”. That is, the “CT” used to be masked for them - but now it turns out much more convincing with him.

And then, it was risky to put pluralism, it was said to us - the kingdom that will be divided within ourselves will not stand. For stability, the kingdom needs homogeneity, this, apparently, is also concerned with television channels. And it is quite clear that in the current situation, the “CT” is more likely to be similar to the “emergency” than the “emergency” to the “CT”. For “emergency” is now a carrier of the dominant gene.

Of course, Nikolai Kartosia and Vadim Takmenev, with the fact that they have left from their colleagues, do everything in order to maintain the remains of identity in these conditions. They started without warm -ups, right from the figure of the highest aerobatics - the new stage of its existence “CT” opened on the day of Putin’s anniversary dedicated to him. Almost an hour of continuous exclusive: the host with the crew was allowed into the kitchen, gym, pool, office and first -person plane. The face showed the leading sports uniform, treated him with a cocktail of his own essay, rolled in the limousine, allowed himself to ask himself uncomfortable questions and agreed to answer them.

We, of course, did not hear anything fundamentally new-the statements of the anniversary either repeat what he had already said, or sniper exactly correspond to our expectations. Protests? Well, the majority still supports. Sentence? Well, yes, they were condemned correctly. Navalny? Let him do something first for the country, and then criticizes. Khodorkovsky? He sits for business, but does not ask for pardon. No surprises. But in the case of the first person, and even more so in the story of his daily life, the main surprises are not what is said, but in that how, the most important intonation and facial expressions, details and surroundings are most important.

This is how the president chuckles, speaking of the sentence to three girls: “And the court took and picked them with a two -legged, hello, regret to shave. I have nothing to do with it, they wanted it - they got it. ” Or how he laughs at his joke about the cocktail, which Takmenev treated, - but let's see in an hour what will happen. In what tone he says, recalling Medvedev’s presidency: “I. Gave. This. Power. To others. Hands".

The ability to exist in a hanging position on dependent those who troll you can also be considered as valor.

Or the manner of the hero of the day to apologize for blocking the roads before his motorcade: “I, frankly, worry. I feel inconvenience. But you have to work. ” And the reaction to the mention that the president of France is traveling in a general stream, without floors: “He, of course, is a good person. But I am not engaged in populism. It is necessary to work. Work".

Or his habit of changing clothes in flight to a tracksuit.

And the fresh honey for breakfast, which, according to the president, is supplied to him by the patriarch? So you see: early morning, birds, dew, patriarch at the porch with a basket. And contrasting baths, hot and cold, in which Putin is plunged every morning after the pool? “Here, stay in the boiled water, and then in the jelly, and I will tell you, father: you will be a noble fellow!”

Or this story of Putin's classmates about how he executed ducks.

Or a gray -haired chin of Labrador Connie.

For these objects captured by the lens, which nevertheless remained in the final edition of the program, fans will forgive the creators of the “CT” everything else. Everything that went there besides them, although it would not be part of them, and everything that, despite the hints, announcements and promises of the creators, did not enter there.

And they will not reproach Vadim Takmenev for excessive enthusiasm - well, as a journalist, not to remember in the presence of such a person (although it was a little embarrassing that he all the time calculates, how many steps were from him to Putin). And then, some elation stuck the genre of the ceremonial anniversary portrait. And besides, knowledgeable people understand that these ahi-ohi when meeting with august house, and the whole story is the Parafraz of the April report of NTV, where Takmenev sighed in the same way, discovering the Gothic castle of Maxim Galkin in the village of Gryaz near Moscow. By the way, there were much more emotions.

In the performance of Panegirik, the Jubilee “CT” uses its usual method: to join the common choir and sing loudly on the motive of the anthem, so that the articulation strictly corresponds to the text and only experts can understand-in fact, something else is pronounced, for example, instead of “Putin”-“Pussy”. They sing all this in Sweikovsky diligently, with expression, honestly eating the eyes of the capter.

They love for these things “CT”-and they will look, even if there is only only the Cheshire smile somewhere in the left corner of the screen. When so little remains of you, the very fact of stubborn existence on the federal channel is charged with righteousness, the fact that you are not running to save the remaining in the monastery, on the island, or at least to the rain channel, as others do. In principle, this is the ability to exist in a hanging position on dependent those who are trolling, it can also be considered as valor. Well, in general - what other monastery, what "rain"? Of course, they are good people, but you need to do things. It is necessary to work. Work.

There was such a case in America with a rooster named Mike. The owner chopped off his head, and he survived - the spinal cord survived and the main reflexes with him, although the heads, as the photos and videos testify, did not remain at all. The owner, seeing that the rooster survived, decided not to finish him off and began to feed him from a pipette, emptied directly into the esophagus, which allowed the rooster to live without a head for about two years. Why did not the farmer showed mercy and finished off Mike, the story is silent, but it can be assumed that they were driven by such vivisector curiosity - well, how do you buy me without a scallop, without a beak and without eyes? In addition, it turned out that Mike could bring good money - touring with his headless rooster at agricultural exhibitions, the farmer managed to make a fortune.

The rooster can be understood all the more. It is natural-to cling to the opportunity to still buy something and to eat something out of a pipette. But still, something terribly unnatural is in this palliative existence, even with the main reflexes.