Translated material
Be lonely
Sociologists note the appearance of a whole class of new - happy - loners
“Loners should also have a wedding,” the headline read on The Atlantic.
Thought, frankly, is not new. At least all fans of the series "Sex and the City" remember a series in which the main character is outraged by the fact that the steam has Weddings, anniversary, birth of children, and loners only days of birth. Which pairs also have, and even in more quantities.
This funny at first glance requires a huge sociological shift: the emergence of a new group of people who perceive their loneliness not as a tragedy, not as a stage on the path to marriage, but as a natural and comfortable state. It can end at any time, and it can last all your life. Main, It is not equal to misfortune.
In the spring, the book of sociologist Eric Kleenenberg Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Apple of Living Alone was published in America. The book became a real hit - this was one of the first attempts to describe a new social trend in a popular language.
Klinenberg begins the book with a detailed story that at all times the main driving force of mankind around the world was a desire to live with others, not alone. “But this is not so more,” says Klinenberg. This shift, in his opinion, has occurred in the last 50 years, and so far for the most part concerns the Americans. Klinenberg gives murderous evidence: For the first time in the history of the United States, most people are not in pairs. In the 50s there were 22%, now this figure has grown to 50%.
Let's get back to the article in The Atlantic. Its author Millie Kerr writes about the existence of a class of loners as a well -known fact, she is not interested in the loners themselves (here everything is clear to her), And the fact that the world does not keep up with the shift.
She describes how the representatives of the company - the manufacturer of postcards Hallmark, are whether they have postcards that could be presented to a loner. Searches for recipes. Turns to travel companies to find special tours.
Both Millie Kerr and Klinberg use the term Singleton. Klinenberg in a special footnote explains that this is not at all the same as Single. Singleton really does not contain the connotation “lonely, which means the unfortunate”. This is closer to one of a kind.
In the Russian language, no special term for conscious loners has yet appeared. And this is an important point in this whole story.
I tried to find similar people - conscious happy loners in Russia. Not in the sense that I wanted to find them among my friends - I just know such.
I wanted to find signs that they identify themselves as loners, distinguish themselves in a separate group, as they do, for example, the mother of young children or, conversely, Child Free - supporters of conscious rejection of parenthood.
You can’t call my searches successful.
I found a group for conscious loners in the "living magazine". There are very few participants in it - only 200 people. Besides It turned out that in it one active participant is a woman from Israel.
The creator of the VKontakte group was a young guy from Ukraine, who so slurredly described the reasons for his conscious loneliness, which was obvious: The guy just needs to grow up a bit.
There are sites with recipes for single and even a cook book in Russia. One problem : all this is called “recipes for bachelors” and offers simple recipes from doctoral sausage and eggs. This, of course, discredits the idea of loners as happy, self -sufficient, individuals. The word “bachelor” itself describes a person from the point of view of his relationship with marriage. Offer a bachelor to cook something from eggs and sausages - doesn't matter What to say to him: “Well, nothing, nothing, you will marry, you will be fine, then you eat like a person.”
Millie Kerr from Atlantic, who just met her 30th anniversary in a happy loneliness, figured out how to solve the problem of the lack of special holidays that could celebrate loners. She arranged a Quinceñera party in San Antonia. Kinsaanier is a traditional holiday of growing girls in Latin America. Millie Kerr decided that she had matured enough to arrange such a holiday. Parents Kerr, who took expenses for themselves, deserve special admiration. They did not have to pay for the wedding.