Russia is the birthplace of jesters

Script application

If you have noticed, lately our news has become more and more reminiscent of stories based on the creativity of the mentally ill. This means that it’s time to write a script for a future absurd comedy, which will be staged, as they will write in the credits, based on our real events.

So, the intrigue begins in one of the countries of decaying capital, which a sophisticated viewer will easily recognize as France. A group of unfortunate artists - Pinocchio, Malvina, Pierrot and others - suffer and groan under the yoke of the evil Karabas (Francois Hollande), who is strangling poor millionaires with unaffordable luxury taxes. It would seem that there is no way out.

But one day the nosy Pinocchio (Gerard Depardieu), somewhat drunk, pierces his nose with a painting depicting the former kind owner (Nicolas Sarkozy), and finds a door behind it. Of course, this is the door to a magical land where only the poor pay taxes, and the rich live comfortably, for which they are given free apartments and houses are built.

Pinocchio invites Malvina (Brigitte Bardot), Pierrot (Alain Delon) and other retired colleagues (Mireille Mathieu, etc.) to quickly flee to this tax paradise. But here’s the problem - Malvina categorically refuses to leave her homeland without her two beloved elephants Artemonov, and the evil Duremar (sanitary doctor Onishchenko) refuses to accept the animals because they have no citizenship. What should I do?

Fortunately, many kind, sympathetic scientists live in the magical land, who, on instructions from the government, immediately make an important discovery: it turns out that the magical land is the historical homeland of elephants and therefore they can automatically obtain citizenship. No more obstacles!

Of course, immediately upon arrival, everyone (including the elephants) is awarded the title of People's Artist, after which they, with brand new passports, go straight to the next elections to vote for stability. The song "Far, far beyond the sea..." sounds, and on the other side of the magic door there is a huge line of Hummers made of pure gold, shining in the rays of the evening sun, symbolizing the final decline of Europe. And happy viewers understand that decaying capitalism has once again been put to shame. End of the film.

Here is a blockbuster that can be called “The Adventures of the French in Russia.” Or “Russia is the birthplace of elephants...” Or donkeys... Or better yet, the homeland of jesters. Perhaps this will be just right.