Today I suddenly felt like Putin

Today, at about twelve o'clock in the afternoon, I suddenly felt like Putin. Well, just a little bit. I was driving along the Koltsovskaya highway from the IEC (International Exhibition Center) to Yekaterinburg, and suddenly I realized that something was wrong. There are no cars ahead, an empty road. No one is overtaking me, and no one is visible in the mirror. No one.

It's a strange feeling. On this highway there is traffic at night as during the day, but here it is empty. Moreover, at every intersection there are traffic police inspectors, and their expressions are strange - questioning and friendly, and just somehow enlightened. I have never seen such faces among traffic cops in my life. They also started saluting me.

Can you imagine? I had a strong desire to pull over to the side of the road and somehow check if everything was okay with me. Is this a dream or delirium? And then, thank God, it dawned on me - they were waiting for a motorcade, all the exits had already been blocked, and on command they said - GO! And then I somehow leaked in a black Mercedes, yeah. The police apparently mistook me for the FSO. Like going to check if everything is fine. Did they block everything off correctly?

And then I realized to what extent Putin does not know the country in which he works as president. No, the idea is certainly not very fresh. “You don’t even know us,” etc. But the entire depth of the gulf between real Russia and its current president suddenly suddenly opened up. He and I just live in different worlds. We have our own Russia, he has his own, completely different. He lives on one side of the facade, and we live on the other.

The president takes those actions that are inadequate, in our opinion, based on the real state of affairs in HIS Russia. But he cannot get into OUR, even if he wants to. Anywhere it can go. But not to us. To Switzerland or America - please. But planes don’t fly to us. And you can’t drive into our place in an armored Mercedes. He cannot get to that Russia, where there are potholes, dirt, devastation, unemployment, poverty, drugs, theft and rudeness of the authorities. It's absolutely impossible. This explains a lot.

So he flew almost to the deep province, so to speak, to the ground. And what does he see? Smiling men in nice suits and ties. They are big bosses for us, but who are they for him? Nobody! Simple Ural men who are here, in the outback, working on the farm. They melt cast iron, make pipes, and all sorts of tanks. Well, yes, these same ones, in suits.

And who else, he doesn’t see others. And these are quite okay, they look good. Apparently, they are not starving, and in general they do not seem to be in great poverty, although they live far beyond the Moscow Ring Road. And most importantly, everyone is terribly happy to see him. In fact, you can't fake that kind of facial expression. And Surkov insisted that in the regions people live poorly and do not like the president. He lied, as it were, he lied.

Then the president drives out to the square in front of the airport terminal and out of the corner of his eye he sees that there are not many cars, but mostly Mercs, BMWs, well, in extreme cases, Tuaregs and Land Cruisers (in the outback, of course). Transport in the Urals is also not so bad, the president notes. They drive out onto the highway - the road is wide and level. Marking, everything. There are no cars. But they say there are not enough roads in the country. Why the hell do they still have roads if there is no one to drive on them. Money is tight here in Sochi, and they try to bury it on the roads. Well, you can’t trust anyone, you have to check everything yourself.

Here are the traffic police inspectors. They stand, smile welcomingly, and are neatly dressed. And, too, they are also clearly happy to see him. What kind of scum, I wonder, spreads rumors that evil, dishonest people work in the traffic police? Well, guys with such faces can’t take bribes. They can't!

And here is the city. And overall it’s not bad. Tidy, no dust, no dirt, everything is quite decent. Tulips in flower beds. But they say nothing grows in the Urals. And somehow I remember they called the capital of the Urals “Mudburg.” They lied again, clearly. The city administration is working quite well. There are not many cars again, even in the parking lots. What kind of traffic jams are there? And people are almost invisible. Oh, yes, apparently everyone is at work - Monday. Thank God we don't have unemployment. Even in the Urals, not to mention in this dead European Union.

And here is the residence, Plenipotentiary Rurikovich is shining straight. It's always nice to meet a good person. And, apparently, he is also sincerely glad to see me. He definitely doesn’t know how to pretend, he was taken straight from the workshop. And how well he said then, at the most necessary moment: “We will defend stability with the men, you know...” And after all, there is something to defend. No, twelve years have not passed in vain. Under Yeltsin, wherever you go, there is chaos and mismanagement everywhere. Now it's a completely different matter.

And people, people have become completely different. What kind of faces were around before - dissatisfied, angry. Now it’s not at all the same, people’s faces are beautiful, open, friendly. You see so many people in a day, and everyone is smiling, everyone is raising their hands. And pensioners, and teachers, and all sorts of businessmen. Sometimes you mentally prepare yourself that some tough Chelyabinsk man will come up and hit you! Well, I mean the truth. A meteorite, they say, fell on us, but there is not enough glass. And the roads in the villages are not very good, there is a lot of dust. But no, he comes up and shakes my hand. Thank you, he says that you haven’t forgotten, etc. Even the journalists, in general, are quite decent people. And the question is: where does this vile opposition come from? If everything is normal everywhere, people are quite happy. They haven’t seen or heard of it anywhere, but on Bolotnaya there are again a hundred thousand. Where? A? Everything in the country is quite good, in some places even good. So, I think - intrigues! Foreign agents are stirring things up, nothing less.

Well, we have nothing to look at! For now, thank God, we are seeing life with our own eyes. As it is. Yeah!

No, I can’t leave yet, I can’t, Vladimir Vladimirovich thinks. Even though I’m tired of everything, I can’t. After all, everything will fall apart again. The people around are generally not bad, but they are painfully dependent. They can’t do anything without direct instructions. They look straight into your mouth and wait for orders. Sometimes you’re even afraid to speak. You say something, well, just like that, without thinking, and they already do it. Sometimes they do such things that you don’t know where to go. Well, then, of course, someone has to resign or be sent somewhere else.

With these thoughts, Vladimir Vladimirovich met the members of the European Union. They smiled welcomingly.

The center of Yekaterinburg on This Day . Photo by M. Vyugin.