"It's not all bad"

5–9.08.2013

The New Times continues to follow the story of a man who received a terminal diagnosis*

One friend asked for help: a common good friend was diagnosed with cancer by ultrasound, and instead of going to the doctors, she went to drink. Moreover, he has been in this state for a week, and to all the persuasion on the topic of treatment he says that it is pointless and that dying is like dying.

Here's what I know: Ultrasound is not the best way to diagnose cancer. In addition, our doctors who describe the results were trained like all students: “mowed down and hammered”. By ultrasound, they found some rubbish in my gallbladder and said “it needs to be cut”, and a week later, another doctor did not find anything at all during a control check. In addition, to confirm the diagnosis, an analysis of a sample of tumor cells is needed. It may be of good quality. But even if it is cancer, it has long been not necessarily a death sentence. A bunch of people with cancer are successfully cured: with my lymphoma in Russia, 95% are cured! But even this is not the main thing. The main thing you know for sure: I did everything I could. This is actually a very cool feeling - the understanding that neither you nor your friends and relatives, even in the worst case scenario, will then have remorse on the topic: “Oh, if only we had done differently then.”

Better than this - only a complete victory. Although the road to it with different adventures. For example, doctors promised me a short vacation from treatment, and now we are discussing with them what papers I need to write for the migration service in order to extend the validity of my American visa - without having to go to Russia for it. It remains only to guess what lies behind the general words that "it would be necessary to observe more carefully how lenolidomide works." After all, at the last meeting, the same doctor was sure that nothing of the kind was needed.

I think it has to do with my lymph nodes not behaving quite the way they should. According to the plans, they were supposed to bloat, get sick and become normal again. They swelled up, got sick, stopped hurting, but they are in no hurry to become normal. The doctor continues to smile, but the nurse says with concern that if they suddenly grow up, it is urgent to inform her at any time. The treatment is experimental... How can one not recall the epitaph on the grave in ancient Greece, discovered by archaeologists: "A tailor studies - the consumption of material, a doctor studies - the consumption of people."

As a result, plans change, their changes are demoralizing. But not everything is so bad: a strategic decision on bone marrow transplantation is in force, and preparations are underway for it. Well, the fact that on the way to this task there are all sorts of risks ... The decision to try treatment with brentuximab was a risk. Flying to the US was a risk. Well, life in general is a risky thing!