Old Faith: A dead end or clearance

Agafya Lykova has long become a symbol of Russian man in extreme conditions, alone with severe nature. The Old Believers of the Lykovs left civilization in the taiga, having lived there for more than half a century, and proved that a Russian person could not only survive, but also transform the taiga around him quite in the spirit of Nekrasov "The Strength and Labor of a Personal Diva Conditions." On Sunday, January 26, a meeting of the former novices of Agafya Lykova Nadezhik with parishioners of the Old Believer Church of Nikola the Wonderworker at the Tver outpost in Moscow took place. Hope spoke about her spiritual path, about how she came to the old faith and how life in the taiga influenced her fate.

Please tell us what brought you to Moscow this winter?

This time I ended up in Moscow miraculously. So the circumstances. To fly to Moscow with Altai, I need a lot of money, I did not have it. And then the Epiphany, we did not get to the service, the psalter was silent at night, bathed in the lake in the morning and sit at the table, sorrow that this year it will not work to get to Moscow. And suddenly ... a helicopter with a film crew arrives and they ask me: "Do you want to fly to Agafier?" Of course, I agree to “fly” to Agafye, because we have not seen each other for ten years. And even more so since we have been with the owners of this helicopter for a long time, with whom we have long known, we talked about how to bring to her from the Gorno-Altaysk our priest-the father of Alexander Vershkov, because another priest from the Urals, who had and "completed" her, said: "From the Urals to fly far from you, you find someone better to yourself." And then God's fishing arranged everything so that Agafya and I found ourselves at one spiritual father.

We live in Mountain Altai on the shores of Lake Teletsky. The indigenous Altai calls him Altyn-Köl ("Golden Lake"). You can only get to us by helicopter, there is no road on the water, there is a storm up to 9 points, well, in the mountains.

We fly to Agafye with Father Alexander, just the Epiphany, the holiday, he professes her and communes, she is happy and satisfied. Filmons shoot her. The doctor examined her. Now many are outraged by showing how it is exposed. With me it was: I stayed to help her undress, make it, and they allegedly turned off the camera, and they themselves came out as if noble. Like, we leave, leave you alone with a doctor. But they did not turn off the camera and recorded everything. Well, God is the judge.

Understand, Agafya is a child. The Lord said: “Be like children,” and she is a child, it is in this state that he lives and abides. There are only two authorities for her - Grandma Raisa and Tyatenka (my mother has long died). Without any busting, she gave herself to examine herself. Doctors found this bump with her back in the 70s, when they were just found. This is a benign tumor that she was offered to remove. But she knew why the Lord punished her, letting her such a disease. Her father passed away, at first the brothers were all, then she and her father lived together for some time, and when her father stopped at the age of 86, she was left alone in the taiga. Moreover, Tyatena did not bless her into the world to go out, which means she thought, it was impossible.

She found relatives on her mother’s line in the village of Kilinsk, Kemerovo region, who found her an assistant. When this man came to her, she immediately said that she only needed an assistant, that she did not need a husband, a matchmaker, a son-in-law, nor no one else. She immediately asked him if he would live with her like a brother and a sister, to escape. Imagine, because from the age of seven, her whole work was that she stood at Analoy and prayed - the whole rule. The sisters and the brothers went to work, chopped firewood, dug potatoes, and her work was that she prayed, read twelve psalms every day, she knew the service well and she had all the liturgical books.

The man could not live with her “like a brother and a sister”, and when Agafya felt unclean and realized that she could not approach anal to read the gospel and could not survive it, she said: “I don’t need anything of this.” By that time, helicopters had already flew to her, and she went to the Yenisei, where mother’s mother were working. She flew to them, wanted to become a nun.

Did she consider herself a “chapel”?

I myself, while I lived with Agafia, were in my head of obscenity. And when I read Arseny of Ural, everything became clear to me, and I sent her this and other books. She read them and realized that her grandmother Raisa was just our (Belokrinitsky) consent. In the Urals there was a Yalutorsky village, where there was a monastery, and this grandmother Raisa was a difficulty at the monastery. Not a novice, namely a difficulty. Her parents passed away early and sent her to this monastery. And from the grandmother of Raisa there were dry gifts, and there was water - that is, she remembered that there was still a grandmother Raisa and the priests. A family legend was preserved about what happened there in the 18th century. Priests were executed with a terrible execution: they placed them in a barrel with nails and lowered from the mountain. And in the place where the barrel stopped, the key began to beat. When she had father Vladimir, he confirmed: documents were preserved that these priests were her relatives. He completed her and did everything according to the rank, she already came to this and was ready.

How did you get to her? How did your fate intersect with Agafya and how much did you live there?

I was born in Moscow, in an ordinary Soviet family. Father was a communist, my mother had gentlemen in her soul, but she was left without her parents at five and there was no one to educate her. I myself did not immediately come to the Old Believers. She began with the Russian costume - she herself was sewing of sundresses, began to embroider shirts and towels. And my mother suddenly says to me: "Yes, we had whole chests of this good." But, since she was left at five, she did not know what kind of family we are from. She only remembered that our house was two-story and that there were icons in the growth of a person ... I lived like everyone else and studied like everyone else, and there was no idea that there was some kind of spiritual life ... And suddenly a loved one for me leaves my life.

With this, my spiritual search began. When my husband died, I felt such severe physical pain, as if they had a spear in a solar plexus and turned. I live with this pain for a month, tears, I come to work - roar. As a rule, we all have a Bible in the library, to which hands do not reach. So I stood with me. I opened it, began to read - no, not mine, let it stand still. And then this pain is, I open the book and begin to read. And she opened it on a passionate week, just in the place where the Lord is in the Garden of Gefsiman. And, apparently, through this inner pain, I begin to understand what is written there, my eyes ... as if opened. And, you know, I lived in such a state that I do not want to live. I have a child of ten years old in my arms, I was left without a profession, because I left the institute. And already with such thoughts, well, how to live on, how? We had an ideal family, we understood each other very well, our daughter grew up, everything was fine, and then suddenly I understand that I do not know how further and where. And when I began to read the gospel, some kind of insight happened. I told myself: “Lord, I know why I will live. I will devote the rest of my life to you and, as I can, will live in the gospel. ”

But then my spiritual search began with what was at hand: Krishna, Buddha, and so on. I started from scratch. I come somewhere, I begin to ask, something is not satisfied, I move on. In Buddhism, I lingered a little longer, and the teacher already gave me some of my own to read, I sit, meditate and suddenly a vision to me: the Lord on the Cross on Calvary, and so he looked at me that I recoiled and said no, this is not mine. The Lord Jesus Christ is my teacher.

Once, yogis began to ask me: "Who is your teacher?" I say: "Christ." -"Well, it is clear, Christ, and who is your earthly teacher?" I say: "Yes, I have no earthly teacher, I only have Christ." They: "You go along the wrong way." I ask then: "Who do you have a teacher?" One of the yogis says: "I had a teacher, but he shot himself." Another says: "I have a good teacher, he wrote such smart books, but he is now in a crazy house." I answer: "No, this is not my way, I do not need there."

Then I met at the exhibition of Konstantin Vasiliev with a young man who came from the village of Ust-Koks with Altai, and I hear how he tells something about the Old Believers at this exhibition. Vasiliev has many paintings on this topic: both clothes and symbols. And I look, he tells all this so interestingly, and himself - in a roar with a belt and a rim.

Well, somehow it became interesting to me too, I'm listening. And about the Old Believers for the first time I heard from him. It turns out that we have not just temples, but also Old Believers. He then directed me to the matting, I came, Father Leonid was there then. I go to the temple, just the service was ...

I used to go to the Nikonian temple sometimes, well, I will come, I don’t understand what they are talking about, the icons are everywhere in the biases, and we pray with three flap. I don’t understand, I go to one priest, I say: “You will explain to me why the difference is that the Lord is like this to us from all the icons, but we are different.” He was angry at me: “You are from the evil one,” and already swung at me. This explanation did not suit me, because I sincerely wanted to figure it out.

So, I come to the mowing, and there was just the holiday of the Reli of Christ. It was around 91. I went in and heard singing. The singing that I immediately went to my soul. I just heard him, as if from somewhere from the subcortex, maybe my grandmother sang it to me when I was in the cradle. It was a native something. I heard this singing and realized that this is my place where I needed to be. Well, I come to Father Leonid, I explain to him my situation and say that I was born in a family of unbelievers, I would like to join faith. He talks to me, talks, and then his grannies are taken under the pens and say: “We have to have lunch, father, let's go faster”, took him away - and I stayed with anything. And then suddenly one young man who came with Altai says to me: “Come on, what are the Old Believers here, you’re going to Altai, there are Old Believers.”

And I .. went to Altai. I, a Moscow girl, have no idea what Altai is. I come to the station. Altai, where is this such and such? I look, well, this is probably Siberia somewhere. Novosibirsk? Barnaul? And suddenly, again, I cut it to my heart - here it is, probably, I have to go there. I went to Barnaul, I come, I ask where you have the Old Believers here. There, too, went to the yogis. They looked at me like that, and to my grandmothers, when they came, they met me very good-naturedly. I said that I want to stand in the service, they allowed me: "Please come, wait, look."

I was shocked that I was nowhere, not in any temple, I saw this - they stand like candles themselves, and the amazing ones themselves, everyone glows. And somehow I was so warm with them, and I stayed with them. Then she met one person, he now lives in Novosibirsk - Kolya Starukhin. He says to me: "We have not all the Old Believers yet, there are still Pomors." And he drove me. Then we went somewhere else. I then already determined for myself that the Old Believers are mine, and the yoga went aside. I decided that I would stay in Barnaul. One grandmother said that she was old, that she needed help, and took me to her home. For a while I lived with her. These grandmothers baptized me in the Ob, taught me to pray, psalter read, canons, I lived and studied with them. I decided that I did not want to live in Moscow, and I took my daughter to me. And the grannies say to me: “Well, what are you among us, we are old, and you need to communicate with the young, we have such a village - Zayachya Zaimka - Old Believers, live there, go there.” My daughter and I arrived there, we lived there for some time. There, my daughter married, gave birth to a girl, my granddaughter Lenochka, and when she had already married and decided on her family, I decided that it was time for me to go to the monastery.

And then I heard about Agafue. I have not read the story of Peskov “Taiga Dead Empage” before. When they gave me to read it, I first learned that there are such Old Believers who live in the taiga. I had one familiar woman who also lived on Lake Taurus, and half of Lake Taurus was a reserve. And the reserve extends precisely to the places where Agafya lives. Men, foresters and huntsmen, went there, they have such work - they go check routes, especially in winter. They somehow checked their routes and drove to Agafier. She was very sick, lay, could not bring water to herself, nor firewood, they lived with her for a week, helped what they could, and then they say: “We cannot live constantly, we need to go home, in families, tell me what you need, what help.” And she was going to die, and asked for some woman to find, her co-religionist, who would “reach” her.

This information comes through my familiar to me, and my mentor says: “As long as you have the opportunity, while you are still in a free flight, go to Agafier.” This man is not a priest, I was still at the chapel, but they had a competent person of such people as accountants, knew many books. When I came to this hare bickens, he helped me very well to put my brains in the place, because I could answer any question - but there were many questions, because I studied at the journalist, of course, everything was interesting to me. He had such a custom: he never answered from himself, but always quoted scripture. He knew all the Scripture by heart. If I had a question, he said: "So, open on such and such a page, open such a book, read." I buried in these books, and all four years, while I lived there, had no free time at all. And I was very surprised that these books were all preserved in such a good condition and that the Lord brought me all this to read. Well, I read Nomokanon-for such and such a sin-so much, for such and such-so much, and I counted ...

... As sentences in the United States - a total of 350 years in prison!

Yes, yes, here I am just about that. It turned out that for my sins I was excommunicated from the church, from the temple to death for the rest of my life. Well, then just about Agafue they say, well, Marya Egyptian - my guide, who leads me in the desert, and I understand what I need there, that this is my road. The confessor blessed me and said that I would always have time to get to my mother and that my daughter still needs help, and my mother is still alive, so it’s too early to the monastery. “If you want to try yourself in obedience, come on to Agafye.” Blessed me to Agafye, and we walked through the lake, plunging our property and products on the horses. We had one of the rangers who knew the road only half. On the map. So we went through this half normally, everything was fine, and then, of course, we began to wander. The old maps were, even under the Soviet regime, it was made, in one place it was shown that it was possible to pass, and there - an abyss.

We walked for a long time, well, maybe it was also God's fishing. 20 days were already going on, the products were all over, only the wheat remained, which we soaked and ate. It was very difficult, especially for men who dragged books and all things. I also took a psalter with me, and at least some things for changing clothes. You do not go in a straight line, but the mountains are peaks (up to 2100), descents and rises. We left horses on the border of the reserve. It was already impossible to lead them further, because there are mountains, the breed is old, slate, “kurumniki” - the river stone, and the horse simply would not pass there. The remaining food and things we carried on ourselves. We, of course, reached completely exhausted, broke through. Agafya then treated me. Thanks to her, I now know how to “rule” the stomachs with my hand.

Well, when we came to Agafye, she was already waiting for us. A helicopter from the Kemerovo region, from Tashtagol, flies to it, and we sent a letter there that we were going to her. At first they promised us a helicopter, but we did not wait and went. They flew to her and said: "They are coming to you." At that time she still had an assistant Sergius, he also came to her from Tashtagol - an artist who was the same asked: "You have time, go to Agafier, help."

And Tastagol is far from Erinat? More than 200 km?

More, yes, you also have to go through the mountains, there is a road there. Through Tashtagol, you can get to Abaza, and from Abaza already by water by Abakan to Erinat by boat. Well, then, Agafia stayed. The woman who walked with me was about 14 years old, then they flew away, at the same summer, and I was left with her alone.

And how much did you live there?

Five years.

The second part is here

(To be continued)