The proposal to go to Scandinavia for a beach holiday sounds crazy. What about palm trees, Pina Colada and the Aram-Zam-Zam dance? Meanwhile, millions of Europeans annually go to sunbathe not to the south, but to the north - to regions lying approximately at the latitude of St. Petersburg. The Baltic and Atlantic coasts are waiting not for seals rendering their fat under the sun, but for daring and swift killer whales.

The main thing when traveling on your own is to plan your route in advance.
Photo: AFP/DPA

Since you can’t expect stupefying heat in Scandinavia, the conditions for mobile independent recreation are the most favorable here. You can go by car, or you can use public transport, which runs here like clockwork. Trains and electric trains are more expensive, buses are cheaper, and at the same time they reach the most remote corners. All major transport companies have websites that help you build a route, book and buy tickets, for example, www.swebus.se is the largest bus network in Sweden. But if you feel uncomfortable in the company of student backpackers and unsmiling villagers, it is better to go by car.

An amateur road traveler heading to Scandinavia has to choose: either go by car to Helsinki (from here going to Stockholm is more expensive than from Turku, but you can sleep an extra four hours), or go on a two-day trip by ferry with a call at the same Helsinki. A car package (car plus cabin) from the Finnish capital to the Swedish one costs about one hundred euros.

Night ferries arrive in Stockholm early in the morning, which means you can immediately rush away from the metropolis. The most difficult thing here, perhaps, is to understand the multilayer interchanges, some of which are located on overpasses, and some in tunnels, which “gnawed through” the entire granite base of Stockholm. But outside the capital, the road infrastructure is quite clear, the roads are straight, wide and free. The main resort highway, like in Russia, has number 4, only it leads not to Novorossiysk, but to the southern ports - a giant multi-transport hub from which cargo and passengers travel, sail and fly all over the world.

No more than a day

On the way to the south, even if you don’t turn anywhere, you won’t miss sights. The main one is the castle of Per Brahe the Younger on the high shore of Lake Vättern. The lake, the second largest in Sweden, is surrounded by simply idyllic villages, and grandiose ruins reign on the cliff above them. The castle stood abandoned for many years (which is rare for Sweden), and in the end it was preserved as is - in the form of picturesque ruins.

Since the former count's estate is located exactly halfway along the road, pragmatic Swedes stop here for a snack. In addition to a cafe and a shop, near the castle there are picnic tables, benches, children's swings and everything else that is necessary for a pleasant stay. Here we need to make a small digression regarding amenities in general. Sweden is not a very big country and not at all densely populated. At the same time, of course, there is no ownerless land here - everything belongs to the state, municipalities, or - most often - to private owners. However, the country has a law called Allemansratten - that is, “General Right”, according to which anyone can go on vacation anywhere. Except for plowed fields and military installations. That is, you can put up your tent on private property - with the condition that it does not spoil the view from the owner’s window. You can light a fire in the forest - as long as there is no fire ban in effect and you do not cut down trees for firewood. You can pick mushrooms and berries in a private forest, and fish for free in large bodies of water. The only condition is not to be a jerk and not to stop for more than a day. That is why Sweden is so popular among independent tourists from surrounding countries: Norway (where it is too cold), Denmark (no forests) and Germany. Local beaches for Germans are the same as for Soviet citizens, God forgive me, Crimea.

Skåne: Vikings and castles

Sweden owns more than a third of the entire coast of the Baltic Sea, but the best beaches must be found where the “dog” of the Scandinavian Peninsula has its front paws: the golden sands near Istat and the starchy white sands, like starch, creaking on the Scanner Peninsula.

Having passed through Småland, overgrown with dark spruce trees (somewhere here in the wilderness, IKEA is holding captive the best furniture designers in the world), the highway jumps out into the plowed expanses of the province of Skåne. This land belonged to Denmark for a long time, as is reminded by both the local dialect and the attraction to the former metropolis (the provincial capital and Copenhagen are connected by the longest bridge in the world, along which the Danes travel for cheap Swedish products). Local separatists are happy to take pictures in front of a billboard for the Gamla Danska, that is, “Old Danish” liqueur. By the way, strong alcohol in Sweden is sold only in stores of the state monopoly Systembolaget, which Russian-speaking immigrants dubbed “SystemGULAGEt”, and only from 11 to 18 on weekdays. Not every town has a wine and vodka store; the nearest one can be found through the website Systembolaget.se - after reading a lecture on the dangers of drunkenness.

Along Skåne's many kilometers of beaches there are campsites of the same length. They fill up from mid-June to mid-August, when the Baltic Sea is quite warm and there is little rain. The weather deserves special mention. It is Baltic, that is, it changes eight times a day. Rain, sun, rain again, then sun, cloudy and windy - without a break. The wind here, especially on the shores of the Danish Straits, that is, on the border of the Baltic and North Seas, is simply outstanding. That’s why on many beaches you can see strange booths, slightly larger than dog booths. These are houses for changing clothes and storing things so that they do not blow away. There are rarely heavy downpours and continuous rains for many hours. It looks like St. Petersburg, only warmer. The Swedes, who are accustomed to this business, carry windbreakers with hoods and, just about anything, make themselves waterproof.

Climatic conditions make lying on the beach for eight hours impossible. Yes, they say it is harmful. Sea water is very clean, and, unlike our part of the Baltic, salty; at the height of the season it does not warm up above 18-19 degrees and therefore invigorates. Tourists can only find the “activity” to their liking.

The Swedish province is not at all a place where there is nothing to do. It is densely populated. If you stand on a hill, four or five villages, or even small towns, will definitely come into view. But in addition to geographical population, there is also a historical one: the shores of the Baltic straits have served as an arena for all sorts of events since time immemorial. Some things have been preserved since then. For example, in the town of Koseberga there is Ales Stenar, the “Swedish Stonehenge” - a giant stone ship built about one and a half thousand years ago, either for ritual or astronomical purposes. 900 thousand tourists visit it annually, and those Scandinavians who worship pagan gods spend their holidays here. At a thirty-meter height above a sea cliff overgrown with poppies and cornflowers, Ales Stenar floats through time, and around, as before, cows walk and seagulls soar.

In addition to spiritual food, there is also bodily food - Koseberg, like any port town, has its own fish shops and smokehouses. These are, as a rule, not restaurants, but shops, next to which you can sit on a bench and have a snack. Fresh fish, shrimp, crayfish, delicious local potatoes and vegetables - all this can be tasted virtually everywhere. Small breweries compete with local varieties of hops. Another pleasant feature is Sunday fairs, which always take place in the central square of the towns. The products of local farmers are sold here (in June, the whole of Sweden is littered with strawberries and peas), and a huge amount of flowers.

A lot of Skåne is connected with the Viking Age, since it was from those happy times that the Danes and Swedes fought for these lands. Foteviken, the largest and oldest Viking town in Sweden, is located in the municipality of Vällinge. In the summer, up to several hundred reenactors live here, whose rules strictly prohibit the use of any modern objects. Unlike Russian reenactors, they do more than just fight. The emphasis is on crafts, cooking, music and storytelling - in Russian speaking, storytelling. And in the town of Trelleborg you can see the only round earthen fortress on the Scandinavian Peninsula, remaining from the time when the Normans were preparing to capture the British Isles.

There are memories of more recent times. By the way, we all know Skåne very well, we just don’t know it ourselves. It was from here, from the town of Skurup, that Nils Holgersson set off on his journey on a domestic goose. And Glimmingham Castle stands quietly - however, it is not at all like the one depicted in the Soviet cartoon. But there are no rats there either!

There are many castles in Sweden, almost all of them have been turned into museums, and almost all of them host medieval festivals. Their schedule can be viewed, for example, at www.renaissancefairefestival.com.

For those who find knights smelling like stables a dubious pleasure, there is Malmö. It is the third largest and most “European” city in Sweden. In addition to many museums and the skyscraper Scruv (official name - Turning Torso), that is, "The Screw", that is, the “Screw”, by the Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava, the capital of Skåne is famous for its evening life. Especially on the night from Friday to Saturday, when Lilla Torg Square in the center turns into one continuous restaurant, and the Mellan district into a disco.

Konstantin Sholmov

To the Varangians for a tan