A real man

It so happened that it was necessary to do a good deed: to write about the insult inflicted on the innocent character - so that publicity helped in the restoration of justice. From the very beginning, the case seemed to be death.

If you don’t even take into account that the effectiveness of the press (especially now) is a pure accident and is generally more profitable to knock out a public tear on Facebook, and the conflict itself gave little space to create a large-scale canvas: a household, weighed with a bunch of family injustices and a kilogram-different lawsuit. The wife kicked her husband out of the apartment, changed the door, found sympathy in the local police station, offends, does not give documents. The support group tells that there were no husband’s documents in the apartment. For three months, a man lives in a car with his dog, a dachshund. The wife also kicked out a dashmone as a darmot. But our hero, Vitaly, says that Bubu himself would never leave her for anything.

In the afternoon, Vitaly earns money by caring, each time warning the passenger: “But nothing, if the quiet dog will sit from behind?” In the evening he attaches to the machine ceiling “Wireless lamps on a double -sided tape” (he says: “This is my starry sky!”) And reads books. Or solves crosswords (this is a favorite hobby, hobby). They were delighted with a buba in early spring, but in the last nights they freeze. In the morning they run around the car. Do you know how the dachshund moves in high snow? He jumps out of a snowdrift, like a hare from rye.

I am standing near the feeding car with a pack of court documents in my hands and I do not know how to approach the case more competently. The apartment is privatized for all family members, the share of our hero in a residential meter is small, the wife does not sit on the network (only “Odnoklassniki”), and such ephemera as reputation losses does not bother her. In principle, she would be excited by the reaction of a friendly circle, but spouses have no general friendly circle for a long time. There are two family roars and neighbors. How to pose such a lady? And Vitaly crawls out, lifts his face to the sun, joyfully grimaces on the bubes of snow-transmitted somersaults and says: “But you know, I have not been as happy as it is now. The first happy spring in many years! " "Because they are free?" I ask. He looks with surprise: “No, no. Because our Crimea. Our Crimea! "

***

Several news. Offhand. Everyone already knows that a resident of Lipetsk bit a fighting dog: “It is only known that he spent on Saturday and Sunday without sleeping at the computer, corresponding about the events in Ukraine, then ran out into the street in one underwear,” and so on. In Kaluga, the head of the department and the driver - after the dispute about the accession of Crimea, had a fight at the banking corporate party. Examples are television, the most representative: there the madman runs around the city in his underpants, there is deadly - the driver got excited (young man), and broke his head to the head of the department. How much fervor. And how much friendship was destroyed after the “disputes about the events in Ukraine”, how many examples of household clashes are not so picturesque? A group of middle -aged writers, many years of friendliness, gathered for the expected one, once a quarter, a self -arranged meeting, and so what? Restaurant dishes were beaten. "The owners are confused, guests, sneaking, diverge." In Nizhny Novgorod “After the conversations around the Crimea,” there was a female fight in a hairdresser. Female. In the hairdresser. An unthinkable business, this is the territory of a watering water.

The people should strictly ask the liberal, a traitor and a neurasthenian: why don't you rejoice?

And Crimea, on the contrary, the territory of public discord, split. Its accession is a source of literally fainting anxiety for one part of society and satisfaction and joy - for the other. Two weeks ago, a natural intonation for a journalistic cry about this was an intonation of surprise: why? No, however, why, why did the idea of ​​Russian Crimea receive such folk support, why is there no fear of war and Sumy? Do we know our people? But two weeks have passed, and the carrying course of social thought has changed rapidly during this time. Such things grow relatively slowly (the state ideological machine works hard, the lawmakers try), and then the cups on the scales (public norm, public balance) change places suddenly, in an instant. Nothing is spent yet, and you already feel that the air is different.

And now, not to Liberal, to freely ask why this people needed this Crimea, and the people should strictly ask the liberal, traitor and neurostenic: why are you not happy?

I was surprised why Vitaly, sitting down his ears in the snow with a dachshund in his arms, feels happy because he now has access to the sea. But I no longer have the right to surprise. Therefore, I will just tell you about Vitaly. Let me dwell on some little things that seemed typical to me. God is in detail.

***

“Words with a clang closed, as if magnets who had been stolen without each other; The random of delight took immediately ”-so Gandlevsky wrote about verses, but something like this, only much more reduced, we can say about the crosswordord. There is a joy in the crossworder from the closure of words, and a successful guess gives rise to if not to be dumbfounded, then certainly a slight wave of complacency.

Back in December of the thirteenth year, before every Crimea, there was a centenary of the crosswordord, and I thought that a century could be a good reason to “think”: why scanwords, crosswords and all sorts of Sudoku were so popular. Why does every self -respecting publishing house release them for twenty items, why is almost fifty million cumulative circulation? The newspapers are dead, but crosswords are not. Yes, of course, in Russia there are many jobs where time needs to be killed. Protection, for example. Then - trains. Watch trains that take, say, Ivanovo men, so that they work in Moscow in Moscow. But is it only a matter of killing? What can I say, the task in the spirit of the early Mostovshchikov: understand why men love to solve crosswords so much, and you will understand the Russian man.

The fierce need is that everything around meets the understandable and harmonious system, brings out in mass love for crosswords.

My hero, Vitaly, loves to guess crosswords. He sets himself the time for himself what he should cope with the "task." Warrots when it does not fit in the concerned time. Rejoices when there is the right word that fell into the right place. It is also important that the right word is found for everything. It is generally accepted that the conqueror of Crosswords flattes his intellect - from there and the joy of classes.

Perhaps. Although, it seems to me, more ancient, basic pleasures are hidden in this process. On the one hand, crosswords of the same blood with hunting, search, fishing - and so you can stretch the thread up to computer shooters. The shooters are frank crosswords in this sense. But the meaning of the game is one: a labyrinth and a shot. A caught word, a murdered ghoul, the pleasure of a little victory. The guess is swift as a shot. And without a shot in one form or another, the male world is not worth it; The shot is a metaphor for male orgasm. So: the guessed word is the same small victory. It rolls a fleeting warm feeling: hit.

And the second joy: when each word is arranged in the right place, the crossword puzzle forms into a harmonious system. The fierce need for contentment and that everything around will finally meet the understandable and harmonious system, brings through this mass love for crosswords.

Here I must say that Vitaly considers himself a typical, average man, a normal man; “The same as everyone else”, “In the basic configuration”. When he says: “Nothing is sophisticated on me” - it is obvious that in his self -representation (as it usually happens) there is both humiliation and pride: not sophisticated, but I am the basis.

Now Vitaly has only two types of property: a dog and a car. Love for the car brings him closer to the whole male world of the country. Love for Buba - perhaps too. A well -known sentimentality to the face of a soldier. His dachshund is touching, like all dachshunds. These are dog cats, Zopotti. Buba causes automatic tenderness, like all the “rebellious” famous Facebook dachshunds, the favorites of their magnificent owners: the legendary Chunya and a warrior of good Baget.

Buba, affectionate, like an orphan, - hot, with solid children's lobby. It, of course, resists the owner, like all dogs: here is Vitaly, for example, a hot and hard -haired interlocutor. He says, without blessing and without sugar: "Do you even know what the real name of Sobyanin?" Well, something personal should open in our hero. Here: he does not like Jews.

"Sobyanin from what side?" I ask. “Didn't you know? He is a Korean Jew. And his surname is Kanalgerh. Yes, you are all inaccurate, dial in Yandex in the search bar the request “Real Surname” - and you will find out everything. Is it really difficult to climb into the search, is it really easier to live in ignorance? ” I climbed. I learned that Pugacheva is also cosmopolitan. It so happened that Vitaly is passionate about the theory of the cosmopolitan conspiracy, and his trigger wow-fraz is “the real name”. But this is not so important what kind of conspiracy script Vitaly would eventually be carried away, and what was carried away, would not go to the fortuneteller: this is just typical.

The dislike of the “normal Russian man in the basic configuration” has a sexual lining to America.

View in any network library the list of “Most often ordered books”, and you will see a collection of mysterious and warlike publications. There will certainly be the book “War. Myths of the USSR. 1939-1945 ”, and“ The History of Secret Diplomacy ”, and the books of the Truth-Troubles of Suvorov, and the wonderful book“ Modern Judaization of the World, or the Jewish Question in the 20th Century ”, and there will be literature about Masons.

And Vitaly - he is just from the breed of social inventors, from those wonderful Russian peasants who make airplanes from the plugs in the gardens, and the picture of the world, complicated, simplify.

So is our hero. There are a lot of secret enemies around, weaving complex multi -stage intrigues, but the world is still quite simple. Double -poured.

America in this order is an antagonist. This dislike of the “normal Russian man in the basic configuration” always interested me in America. That is, for the sake of God, I don’t like it - I don’t love, but it always seemed to me that in this dislike there is a sexual lining. Too dislike is hot.

Vitaly with neglect speaks of “liberals who always look at America with one eye”: “They wanted a good life at a strange expense! After all, tell me - do you want to leave for someone else? You all want to dump! " But almost the same words (apparently without noticing) he speaks of his wife. The wife is bad (women are generally bad) by the fact that they have someone to “blame” for everyday failures: “They want a good life at the expense of someone else's expense, at the expense of her husband. She herself is not a failure, no - I'm a loser. I saw me all day. ” It turns out that a woman is like a traitor, a fifth column, in a family state: scolds a feeder man and wants to dump (guilt). And the liberal generally wants to dump in any sense of the word and for any reason.

It looked like Vitaly perceives America as a kind of annoying community of male competing, as a more successful flock. He, as it were, understands that a woman can be accepted into someone else's flock almost on equal terms, and the educator can (because he is able to offer competitors a certain skill or knowledge that does not directly relate to his status or floor, can offer all sorts of “bells and whistles”), but he, Vitaly, is a man, the basis, this is his main function and purpose. He is not needed by a competing pack at all.

And in his native land, its thoroughness was not used in any way. After all, there were bells and whistles in fashion. And then it all came together, at once. And a small victory, and a new world order, and the return of the most rightness. They also showed America of Russian hedgehog, washed the neighbor. All one day. And the name of this happiness is Crimea.