Deceive me, hug me

On the Savvinsky embankment, I have not been since the time when my sister and I went to the Discontent Center for clothes-this way about six years ago. And it seemed that there was simply no other easy way, except to get there by car. But in reality, it is quite pleasant to walk from Kievskaya on foot, especially with a player in the ears.

“We are between Soho R Ooms and VI Ai Pi B AR ” sounds so -so.

“We left an envelope for the protection for you” - this is better. In addition, I do not have to send someone more sainless instead of myself so as not to reveal the true face. Contrary to the fact that we, taught by Western experience, are used to the fact that the galleries of contemporary art are open to everyone, the guard was not very delighted to the visitor: "What did you want?" (Indeed, what?) I imagine, I explain that for me they had to leave the envelope on the guard. Here, a girl floats out from under the counter, the girl flows out, appreciates me with a look-from top to bottom and bottom up. Then he jerks and asks if this is really a well -known critic and theorist of contemporary art with regalia, I confirm and find out if they are satisfied with my text.

- Yes, everything is just fine, thank you very much. Here is your envelope.

-Contact if you suddenly need something else,-I smile. This is probably our last meeting.

This time was not lucky, although it depends on what to consider luck. Perhaps fate protects me from the cynical sale of its modest knowledge. 1000 bucks per page of the text is wild money for the middle hand of intellectuals writing texts to exhibitions (compared to newspaper fees), and negligible, given that such a text “sells” the exhibition. I immediately bought a bag of petals in a flower at the metro to arrange a salute-in the evening there was a birthday in the evening at once-alcohol, some kind of garbage in Indian spices and gave a debt for a friend’s unprotected car on time. All. It was easy to get it - it was easy.

For the first time, writing a similar text about unprofitable and even vulgar painting, I got up from the table and said aloud: "Well, it was easy." It was as if he had made a robbery or tapped a neighbor. Trash legitimation in contemporary art is becoming more and more in demand. People with money and the lack of taste somehow have long come to the fact that contemporary art is fashionable, prestigious and fun. People like me are called to serve their fun. But you need to look accordingly. Tattooed, with shaved temples of punk in headphones-can he be a famous, respected, highly paid critic-intellectual? It is unlikely. Have you seen that it is on your walls? Can this even exist in the field of contemporary art at least for some rights? Then what difference does it make, how I look - a person who tied your vulgar, unconsciously chauvinist daughters with the study of female sexuality?

There is a difference. It is known that such customers pay to deceive them, and they want to be deceived. It is much more pleasant, without pronouncing that their exhibition needs to be praised, to receive praises “just like that”, learning so much new about their artists, even more so from a famous specialist:

“Banal and conditional - these are the categories in which N works, trying to determine a new, more specific dimension for them with each new job.”

“You can develop mythology in your own way and give comments on what is already contained in the memory of art and history, which is done, subtly and consistently, artist P. ”

“A conditionally special case considered in a series of picturesque works K is easy to transfer a conditionally global catastrophe into the context of a conditionally global disaster, while not turning to banal criticism of everyday life.”

“I just flew from London, held a seminar at Royal College , at 16:00 I advise one collector. Let me drive to you at two hours? Will it suit you? " Such a person cannot help but you cannot but pay. But the situation had to be dispersed further: “I have no time to travel completely, everyone has long passed to non -cash payment, have not heard about this?” He took the path of postmodern cynicism - be a cynic to the end, you can’t play such games on such games. Because there is nothing to lose in general - it is not a pity for the reputation, because you write under the pseudonym; There is no money - you will not notice their losses, because you do not count on them; Conscience will shut up, lined with a bottle of Valpolichella. Turn off - so in full. Then you will describe your experience for a decent publication and you will be very well done, a decent person. With humor.

The girl with a reception called me at the opening of the exhibition of one good artist immediately after I got out of the strong male embrace of a really famous galleryist. I did not recognize her, she made round eyes: “You wrote the text for us, it is so nice to see you again. How are you?"

It seems I got excited about the last meeting. And in general, the critic can be a little informal? In the end, New B Alance is not the worst shoes in the world.

Rostislav Bloom, candidate of art history