Loneliness of deserters

Many are fighting today. Not for those, so for these. Wrap each other in the toilet. The toilet, in fact, is common. But it stinks in different corners in different ways.

Here are the machinations of the national experts. There is a bow of a quilted jacket and power, "emigration of disappointed."

Those who have evaded the war experience sharp and a little as if shameless loneliness.

Always like that. It doesn’t matter how many devouring. They can be a majority. But when they are fighting around, burning bridges and sweetly Satanei, those who decided: “not my war” are doomed to the roles of miserable renegades. Sit, don't shine. In the war, as usual, shades disappear: a deviator, deserter - what, in figs, the difference, the conversation is short. And they say with you as if you really swore to someone here, and then, a bitch, betrayed, betrayed, betrayed!

I often recall Tbilisi, in which I was born and raised, a short but crushing, but crushing period of national construction under the flags of Zviad Gamsakhurdia. Shpan on the street screamed: "Russo Touristo." One better not to walk. Patriotically exalted persons diligently showed contempt for the Russians. A participant in one such story - very characteristic of that time - my mother became. The case was April 10, 1989, the day after the notorious acceleration by units of the Soviet Army of the rally on Rustaveli Avenue. Public transport went irregularly, and in order to get to work, my mother called a taxi. Taxi -parks saved gasoline, collected several orders of SURM. “We’ll not sit in one car with Russian,” said two young women, who drove along the path of a taxi driver (sorry for clarification, the taxi driver was also Georgian). Leaving the patriot on the sidewalk, he silently took his mother and - not immediately, as if he wanted to silent, but could not restrain himself, - shouted after him: “Be careful! There are many fools! "

I did not tell this in order, according to the general trend, to put his own, infringed on the once, once a national feeling under his breath. The conversation is about. In Tbilisi, the Gamsakhurdia of rabid nationalists was enough - but there were enough of those who did not succumb to hysteria. True, they held on - not as a frantic example - embarrassedly, quietly on the sidelines. I remember that the neighbor after one of the anti -Russian rallies came to apologize. She hid her eyes: “Do not pay attention. We came from the villages ... "

Most often, the logical tricks of the warring boils down to a banal default.

Then, in Tbilisi, still a green teenager, I watched from the side, like normal people, sober in judgments, alien to herd enthusiasm, are suddenly pushed to the sidelines, are lost, turned into a single-loner, the powerless to change something. And now, in Russia, divided by the Ukrainian Maidan into two warring camps, I personally worry the same. Judging by the column of Ksenia Dmitrieva in the "Snob", I am not worried about me alone.

That's strange. Voluntary loneliness should be fruiting, should be spiritual. But not in this case. The loneliness of the deserter seems to be the most devastating of all possible. It exhausts not only and not so much attacks on both sides, but by the inability to speak out - to scratch in time and space: I was also here and thought differently.

Firstly, everyone hears what should be heard to strengthen their own rightness. Secondly, there is almost nowhere to speak out. Publications - and by no means not only state -owned - one after another, first refused the journalism of the fact, followed by the most naturally evaporated by the unbiased analyst. The absence of journalism, equidistant from the local Kiselev and the Shuster there, is almost complete. The journalistic stands gathering mass audiences are occupied by propagandists with two -dimensional poster: here are ours - there are enemies. A position that does not fit in one of the ideologies offered, as in a case, is something exotic. To allow you to finish, each time you have to break through the wall.

- Listen, enchanted by the Maidan, Putin's Russia is not my holiday at all. Why did you get the idea that who does not jump with you, he certainly beds under power?

Will anyone ever be able to shout out a protracted shooting of a demchiza with effective patriots? To remind the soldiers of both armies that one truth does not cancel the other?

Namely.

Nationalism, and the most primitive and aggressive sense, is really in Ukraine - no matter how ironic intelligentsia ironic on this score. Read, for example, reports of professional Ukrainian journalists who have not lost on propaganda mova, about the Azov battalion. And - yes, the ideological followers of Stepan Bandera played a decisive role in the victory of the Maidan. Yes, they largely determine the foreseeable future of Ukraine - nervous and dead end, like everything that Nazis does. And lies and garbage propaganda in the Ukrainian media are no less than in Russian.

How you tired, fighters.

But the heyday of Ukrainian neo -Nazism - as well as the puppet, the pro -American character of the current Kyiv government - does not justify the pascular, blitch, paid by the blood of other people's old people and children, the New Russia project with a historical reconstructor, head. No, you can not celebrate your geopolitical needs at this price.

And yet. Who and when finally pronounces in public will combine the obvious in one sentence: the boorish intervention of the United States in the inflamed Ukrainian reality was no less destructive than the response of Russia. How to squint, so as not to notice this: the notorious West is the same cooperative “Lake”, only large.

But in the world of civil apathy, born of paranoid twisting of nuts and a freedom carnival of marsh, more than ever, the sofa radicalism is in demand - the exalted categoricality of judgments and statements. The state of intransigence, a priori and permanent, arranged too many, more or less retaining the fuse-since the political confrontation resulted in an online mutten “Coordinating Council” and a night search with Sobchak.

Even the fact that in order to maintain contradictions on the painful Ukrainian issue, daily taking away dozens of lives and the faith of the survivors, some special efforts are required, for some reason does not bother anyone. Most often, the logical tricks of the warriors are reduced to a banal default: Patriot is silently silent about the Makhnov region in the "people's" republics of the southeast, about the information crafts of Russian propaganda, the "liberal" heroically keeps silent about the house of trade unions and bloody fun of the National Guard. In the space of endless zilch, organized by joint efforts of the Kremlin and “swamps”, only implacable integrity makes it possible to feel completely determined, capable of much - a kind of combat robot, felled for the time being in the hangars of the Army of the Light.

-Damned quilted jacket, all because of you!

- Direct, liberal nits!

How you tired, fighters.

The editors recall that her opinion may not coincide with the opinion of the authors.