Jazz stoplist

1. "Jazz - Fat Music"

The phrase of Maxim Gorky from the vile article “On the Music of the Tolstoy” (the newspaper “Pravda”, April 18, 1928) is very difficult to attribute to his literary successes. Previously, this was called vulgarity, now - a meme. But the phrase became common, and, like all memes, it is alive than all living things. Although the rich for a long time is no longer thick, but rather carefully monitor their health and appearance. However, pop jazz still sounds in respectable restaurants.

2. "Jazz-Banda!"

So in the Soviet Union a neutral English noun Band was Russified - that is, the "ensemble". But it is impossible, it’s just that you can’t tell anyone at all: “I'm going to a jazz concert”-and not get a joyful exclamation-question in response: “Jazz Banda?!” The devil knows what the interlocutor wants to say this, besides the fact that he watched Karen Shakhnazarov’s film “We are from Jazz”. Karen Georgievich, by the way, was already tired of explaining that the wonderful film is completely “not about jazz, but about people”, therefore, historical irregularities and other jambs there, in general, are not at all important. If you want to show off, say jazz-combo.

3. "Joplin is a woman"

In “We are from the jazz” the hero of Evgeny Evstigneev, Nepman-Meloman, says Kostya (Igor Sklyar), which Joblin saw in America. This refers, of course, the “Father of Ragtaym” - composer Scott Joplin. But the majority thinks that we are talking about Janice Joplin - the famous American singer of the hippie era.

4. "Billy Holide and Joni Mitchell are men"

Joni Mitchell sang - I personally heard this reservation in the news of MTV . And to call Billy Holide “He” is a classic blunder of uneducated journalists. It is clear that the news is written or translated from English in haste, but still - this is a shame. Thank you that Erich Maria Remark is not a woman. So far.

5. "Jazz is what Igor Butman and Kenny Ji play

Igor Mikhailovich Butman can only applaud for what this passionarium made to popularize jazz in the recent history of Russia. However, when your interlocutor knows only those jazzmen who are shown on TV, it becomes sad.

Mention the American Sopsophonist Kennet Gorelik AKA Kenny G with jazz lovers is the same as saying to the Jew: “But Goebbels was a talented person!” Kenny Ji made a name for himself at the sugary performance of Christmas melodies and romantic songs. His albums are usually sold at Christmas in supermarkets. And they take them in appendage to the turkey, candles and other attributes of the holiday. And Gorelik was listed in the Guinness Book of Records for the longest note taken on a sopra-saxophone. He is really strong in breathing, but this can not be said about his skill in phrasing, swing, etc. In short, Kenny Ji has nothing to do with Jazz.

6. "Jazz relaxes"

He infuriates the consumer, some kind of bodily attitude to beautiful, passionate music. Relax massage, sauna and enema, but not jazz.

7. “There are no melodies in jazz - continuous improvisations” / “Jazzmen themselves do not compose anything, only improvise”

It is very difficult to understand where this stable opinion comes from. “There are no melodies”-okay, we can assume that a person listened by some miracle, say, Miles Davis concert “ Miles Davis in Europe ” (1963), and there in the second track,“ autumn leaves ”, the popular topic of Joseph Cosma really does not particularly listen.

Regarding “jazz musicians do not compose” we want to remind you that all outstanding jazzmen - with the exception of only, perhaps, Stan Ghetz and Louis Armstrong - composed the original (in every sense) music.

8. "Jazz is music for the elderly, complex and boring"

Yes, “old age is not joy”, and “knowledge multiply sorrow” - and yet go to any jazz Openare (for example, at the All -Russian “ Jazz ” manor) and look how the gray elders and the old women are drawn under the jazz on the lawns. You will be surprised.

9. “Only blacks and only in America are able to play jazz” (“White Men Canomet Jump”)

This is just a racist vulgarity, disgusting, like everything racist. Well, de facto is a misconception: jazz has been playing in all countries of the world for years. Although back in the 1920s of the last century, it was believed that the new fashionable dance style-“jazz” can only play musicians from the New Orleans. Say, Louis Armstrong and King Oliver can, and the Washington Duke Ellington - no! About the “white” kul-jazz, European ideas and the fact that the British John Mclaflin and Dave Holland, Pole Mikhal Urbanyak and Austrian Joe, played, played with the great Miles Davis,-silent. Here are the "blacks" so "blacks"!

10. "Famous jazzist"

The suffixes are “-Ist” and “--Ast”, of course, are amazingly beautiful. Moreover, they give a piquant Fleur to the word. To call a jazzman a “jazz play” is like calling the guitarist “guitarost”. That is, simply offended. There is no such word. And point.

11. "But in the film" Shtilyaga "..."

The wonderful film of the sensitive director Valery Todorovsky. But despite the fact that the real dudes-say, musician Alexei Kozlov or screenwriter Viktor Merezhko-alive, are alive, the ideas of our contemporary about the era of dudes and jazz are now completely determined by this filmshit. Everyone now knows the smart phrase “era of extension of saxophones” (the hero cannot acquire a valuable instrument, since they are not produced in the country, and they almost hang them for the game on Sax). "Shtilyaga" is a postmodern musical. The witty stylization, which has the same relation to that era and jazz as, say, the Hollywood blockbuster about Troy to the real war of the Greeks with the Trojans. This is neither good nor bad. We just won't talk about him anymore, okay? And if you want something authentically stylishly, read the “burn” of Vasily Aksenov or “all correctly” Alexander Kabakov. There at least there are references to real jazz.