We eat at home

In the light of new patriotic trends of TV, it is simply obliged to abandon licensed programs

This greetings from the dashing of the 90s-the plot of “Food of Food”-appeared on the network immediately after the announcement of the introduction of the ban on the import of Western agricultural products. It turned out that this masterpiece of the program of the author’s TV “Besa” is still more alive than all living things. To the sounds of a mourning march along the Tverskaya, the procession of vans with inscriptions moves: “Vegetables”, “Bread”, “Live fish”, “Ice cream”. The text behind the scenes is mournfully read by the chief Soviet announcer Igor Kirillov. 1990. Presentation of new projects of copyright TV. I was on her. I remember. Incredible flight of creative imagination. All are young and gambling. The guys in checkered jackets (Igor Ugolnikov, Valdis Pelsh, Sergey Ginzburg, Evgeny Voskresensky, etc.) Yern: they say, this is their first and last release. Like, after the “Food of Food”, “both-well” will be buried. No, then they survived the “checkered”, and “striped”, and “gray-brown-raspberry in specking”. And who would have thought that the funny plot of the “funeral of food” would gain acute relevance in the second decade of the next century. But on TV, they certainly will not show him now.

According to modern TV, on the contrary, they demonstrate a friendly jubilation of domestic producers and various full -time experts predicting the rapid growth of the Russian economy. “The restriction of the import of Western agricultural products-of course, the news with the plus sign, is cheerfully reports the host of the news on the Russia-24 channel. “Russian manufacturers have something to fill in the shelves,” one of the experts involved in commenting. “Previously, all the regiments were engaged in imports, but now we will finally get rid of the“ legs of Bush ”stuffed with antibiotics,” another expert rejoices. "Why couldn't this be done before?" - asks his journalist. “Because earlier the second was interfered,” he competently explains. In the studio in the back, extremely harmful products flaunt, which are about to be buried. Their tudes in a swing! Give Russian products. In the frame cabbage plantations. The white -legged was disgraced! However, even on general plans, it is clear that not local gardeners with the right Slavic faces are harvested, but "who came up." Well, think, cabbage is ours. So, there will be originally Russian cabbage soup on the tables of Russians, and cabbage rolls, and a sauerkraut - a global snack for Russian vodka. What else does a simple person need to meet an impending winter?

From now on - we eat at home, and only all of our own, dear, homemade. And the creators of the culinary programs that have the numbers on our TV, apparently, will have to reformat and switch to the preparation that our ancestors ate. And then, you understand that neither the “culinary duel”, the hell knows what the guests of the program are preparing: mangoes in strawberry sauce, a hot pineapple salad with shrimp, gaspacho soup, avocado with humus, a little one and that manage to replace overseas parmesan! Your power ended, gourmets, preferring soup of gaspacho baliland from nettles and quinoa. The richest centuries -old experience of the people who knew how to cook porridge from the ax with hunger should be mastered and creatively processed. The host of the program “Eat at home” by Julia Vysotskaya, who is more often than other sinning stunted in front of the West and offering Russian housewives, all sorts of nonsense such as fruit and tiramisu, should be considered especially. And be sure to involve inspectors from Rospotrebnadzor to work on work on culinary projects, who, before starting filming, will check whether dishes are prepared from domestic products. So that without deception.

By the way, I had a fruitful idea - to ban Russian television people to produce programs for Western licenses. This is not Polish apples, American chickens and Latvian sprats! This is a direct harmful effect on the minds of fellow citizens, zombies and stunning of the masses. From now on on the air - only your own! After all, they lived before without a “voice”, without immoral reality shows, sitcoms and, Lord, “Comedy Clubs”. And they lived well, and it is definitely healthier in spiritual terms. Even the names of the old programs are touched: “Play, accordion”, “Lesia, song”, “wider circle”.

I will say more. Television men who are so actively supporting all the patriotic decisions of their native government are simply obliged to prove their own patriotism, without waiting for official prohibitions and, in the order of personal initiative, abandoning the production of products on Western patterns. And the leaders, which are on the air in clothes, kindly provided by fashionable western brands, should be changed to the string and upcat, in order to make pleasant spectators to make pleasant and not to enter into temptation.

One exception, however, can still be done by preserving the popularly beloved program “Comedy Club” the former name, albeit deeply disgusting for the Russian ear. For merits to the Fatherland! After all, it was in the bowels of the “SS” that the anthem of the Russian patriot was born, sharply updated in the context of new political trends. Oh, how his author Semen Slepakov foresaw and guessed everything. There is no word, then our answer to Chamberlain and detailed instructions for use:

Buy shit - and support Russia!

Buy shit - after all, you are a patriot!

Buy shit - and do beautifully!

Buy shit - push the country forward!

Buy shit - go to this feat!

It is shit, but it is its own!

Buy shit - the country will remember you!

Don’t be shit - buy it rather shit!

PS If someone was crushing a rude word, then, firstly, it sounded on the air and, therefore, was thereby legalized, and secondly, it is not prohibited by law, and therefore allowed. And in general - a juicy Russian word! Not like a nasty English Shit .