2014

I was asked to write a few words about the deceased.

That is, strictly speaking, he has not left yet, but who would doubt ... He is just about.

He is living his last days - and in these days you can still have time to say something to the point after him. Because to say something has accumulated to a fig, and then, you understand, these ancient Roman prejudices will begin: either good, or nothing ... But good is not enough.

What can I say, fellow citizens? Actually, everything was clear from the very beginning with him, this year. This party in Sochi, this sawing on the sly, this work-up rating and spread fingers ...

Although no, at the very beginning, for some reason, it seemed to many that something good was waiting for us! Thaw, they shouted, thaw! This is in January.

Like children, honestly...

Here's your thaw. By spring, such strategic colds had come - the weather forecasters observed this ice age for the last time under Andropov ...

What is it with him? asked international observers, accustomed to Russian mud and caught off guard by cold Crimean little men. What's wrong? - not believing their own eyes, they were interested from Berlin and Washington.

Yes so! - answered them from the Russian Foreign Ministry. Now - like this. Fourteenth year, you know. And the fourteenth year for us is the year of patriotic upsurge. In the fourteenth year, Russia finally unites around the sovereign, awakens, is excited, remembers its place on the globe - and gives the world the only thing that can give it ...

Here follows a short and deeply deviant feminine word, which does not mean at all what it was banned for.

We give it to us.

Then, however, they get it.

This is what happened to Russia in the reporting year, if it weren't okay.

Some difference from the previous fourteenth year is that Russia did all this with itself.

You can't hide talent! So to rake out of the blue - this, of course, must be able to, - and we managed. The rakes had been laid out long ago, but in past years there was no time to run up properly. Waiting for a good chance, Olympians ...

Now we are lying, hit in the lobeshnik, and we remember: these numbers on the exchanger's scoreboard - what was it? Year of perestroika or boiling point of water?

And yet - what is the name of the pepper who started all this?

And why is he still with us after all this?

And what is "Novorossiya"? And why the hell were we so happy about this word, and where is it all now? And if nowhere, then where are all those who massaged our heads with this hallucination? Is it still in business? Well, you have to.

And, by the way: four thousand corpses in the east of a neighboring state ... - why did it happen then and why does it continue?

However, the last question worries us not too much. Another head is occupied by the God-bearing people, lying under the exchanger. We should invest rubles somewhere, decorate the Christmas tree with a St. George ribbon and have time to roll up to the chimes, because listening to our permanent pepper on a sober head is, you see, too much.

In short, with the coming.

And the departed ... Needless to say, the departed will remain in our memory for a long time. Forget this shit.