Victory Day

Julia Vishnevetskaya talked with people who defeated cancer about their second life

Family

At one of the sessions of chemotherapy at the oncocenter in Balashikha, they met a neighbor with a child. It turned out that in a small city of Shatura there is no place where cancer patients or their parents could come or at least call. Then they met other acquaintances-in the city no one knew about the illness of their children, for some reason it was not customary to talk about it. But in the oncocenter there was a circle of communication:

“They lived like one family,” says Natasha K., whose daughter was treated for leukemia from 2007 to 2013. -Sometimes we say: girls, let's eat something delicious! They sent one, she brought the chicken grill. They waited a long time when the children would go to bed. They couldn’t be fried, strict diet. Only at night they sat at the table. ”

The children also became friends. They understood everything, played the clicks, who below has the number of ESR - the rate of erythrocyte settlement. Children played the Netbans, who below has the number of ESR - the rate of erythrocyte settlement Twisting this quote knew which of the doctors makes a puncture better - one gets like a mosquito bite, and the other would pull the whole soul. Then, already at home, calling up on Skype, boasted their performance.

After a three -week intensive therapy, Irinka was discharged home. For two years there was an outpatient treatment with trips to the onco center once a week. Chemotherapy was replaced by hormones, then again and again.

“The worst thing is when you come, and they say to you: we take off to the funeral. And yesterday they only ran together, played chess. ”

Mother

“With us lay a woman with a baby Pasha. His diagnosis was not confirmed. In parting, she brought us all on Martini's bottle. “Your children will be cured - be sure to drink.” Well, it seems to be cured, but still we won’t open it - scary. Let's give her for a wedding, probably. ”

When can we assume that cancer treatment is completed? When do the indicators normalize? When did the doctors allow the child to move from home education to full -time? When was it removed from disability?

“They still do not write“ cured ” - this is called“ leukemia in the stage of remission ”. They say that a stable remission is five years. But from what moment to count these five years, tell me? I still can’t go for the analyzes. I ask my husband to pick up, I'm scared! This is the moment when you take and look at the numbers ... "

Natasha K. works as deputy head of the investigation department in the local police department. At work, she has to make many fateful decisions - after all, it is in the investigation department that future sentences in the criminal case are actually handed out. In a month, Natasha needs to transfer 27 criminal cases to the court - such strange requirements. Therefore, at the end of the month, her subordinates do not leave work until night. It's time to lock the cabinet, turn off the light, and in the corridors they still frantically collect the last papers, send documents and write, write ...

“And imagine, I, so strong, responsible, suddenly turned out to be weaker than my own child. Imagine, I, so strong, responsible, suddenly turned out to be weaker than my own child Twist this quote in February 2012 we were discharged, they said: "The treatment was finished." Two more punctures were made in parting - and that’s all, now we are only observed, we are passing a blood test, we come once a month, then every three months. I used to think - it would be a holiday. But the point is that it has become even worse. Previously, at least it was clear what to do, where to go, how much grams to accept. Every week we went to the hospital. And now we are all ourselves, and there is no one to consult with. "

There are very difficult things in the investigation department. Such as there were no before in local practice. Then employees call other areas, consult with colleagues. Sometimes they call the prosecutor’s office, they can consult with the judge in special cases - does it make sense to refer the case, or will it fall apart?

“And here everything is on you. Of course, doctors say, call at any time. But I know how much work they have. I will not be because of every bruise or a runny nose to call the oncologist? And precinct therapists are generally afraid to prescribe drugs with such a diagnosis! Their knees are shaking, they are afraid to take responsibility. Or they write out antibiotics for any reason. They are not interested in that the kidneys will fall off. They said so directly - our task is. "

While chemotherapy was going on, it was impossible to hurt - with any cold, the next trip to Balashikha was deposited until recovery. Therefore, only home schooling, all contacts are limited. You can not sunbathe, you can not be overcool, you can not become infected. Socks, hat, boots, mask in winter and summer.

“The worst thing is if the child gets sick. Once I coughed, two - well, everything, you think, a pipets. Yes, I'm panicing. They sent me to work specifically so that I would not sit at home. Because I have constant fear: Ira, stand next to Sasha. Compare what complexion she has, and which - her brother has. Show your ears not yellow, not pale. Show your hands. Show the knees. When the bruises just appear, it means something is wrong. I celebrated them all with a ballpoint pen, so Ira walks in his pants in the summer. I could do this several times a day. " The worst thing is if the child gets sick. Once I croaked, two - well, everything, you think, a pipets Twist this quote

At leisure, the family loves to go camping. They also gathered this week, but changed their minds - the weather has deteriorated. In general, after Irinkin's recovery, it was possible to go on a hike only once. It looked like this:

“An inflatable mattress is two by two meters, a pillow from the house, a blanket from the house, a suitcase with medicines. Good hike! "

Father

“I remember the first trip to Balashikha when the verdict was cut. Everything is like in a fog. You do not know what to do, where to go - it is like the door, what is the window. They gave two test tubes and said - go. I still have this address in my passport. And then, for the last time, when all the doctors went around, they said: “Freedom with a clear conscience” - oddly enough, exactly the same feeling. Five years before my eyes-as if something had collapsed inside. "

Vitaly K. is also a police officer. He works in the service of private security. In the family, he got an ambulance. At work, they helped - they were released extracurricularly, they gave a service car with special numbers for use.

“I did not even know what a fine was for speeding. When I got my own car, I assembled all the cameras on the road with habit. ”

Vitaly’s regime was like this: once a week at five in the morning, immerse the child in the car, drive 100 kilometers to come to the oncological center in Balashikha by seven in the morning. If you do not pay attention to traffic lights, you can blame in two hours. He brought it into the car, laid out the seat, fell asleep. My daughter and wife call-bring this and that. He went, brought, laid out the seat, fell asleep. Go back either on the same day, or, as a rule, the next.

“They rode in any weather. In winter, a tree fell on the road due to icy rain-since then I had a chainsaw in my trunk. And in 2010 they drove through peat bogs. On the right, the forest burns on the left. You cannot turn on the air conditioner, you can’t open the window, the temperature is plus 40, and the sick child in the car will never forget. ”

Illustration: Olga Khaletskaya

I imagine this picture as in the cinema: the police officer armed with special numbers rushes in predawn frost through forest fires and icy rains with a pale bald girl in the back seat in Balashikha at a speed of 160, to have time to take the line for puncture. And for some reason I do not want to think about the "blue buckets."

After the illness, it is impossible to do repairs-it turns out that some dangerous microbes are hidden behind skirting boards and in window ceilings. They took a mortgage, bought a new apartment, and only six months after the repair they moved. White walls, a minimum of furniture, purity, as in a hospital. Tiles on the floor, there are no carpets anywhere. They cleaned everything, they washed everything. Of the previous things, they took with them only a notebook in which Natasha recorded the names of drugs, doses and test results by the days when Ira was treated at home.

“No need to throw it away,” says Vitaly. - Let him lie. Suddenly still useful? "

Child

She, of course, is healthier than everyone. Everything is fine, is not afraid of anything, calms adults. During our conversation, she asks with a whisper whether it is possible to go for a walk.

“No,” says the mother.

“Okay, already five o’clock in the evening, the sun is not dangerous,” the father objects.

—Ah on the rollers can I?

- No. Only under my supervision.

Do you get the videos? It turns out that shortly before the leukemia began, Irinka fell from the swing and hit her back on the piece of iron.

- Did this serve as a reason? We don't know. But in our whole relatives, nothing of the kind had. Where did you get?

Therefore, Irinka does not allow videos, a bicycle, and even physical education schools, which creates some problems in communicating with classmates. In general, returning to the fourth grade after a two-year pause, Ira was psychologically older than her age, Natasha K. believes, while she was at home, children through the teacher handed her some gifts, crafts. Classmates perceive it as an greenhouse plant, and she as infantils Twist this quote and now classmates perceive it as an greenhouse plant, and it is like infantils. And this is still so, now Irina is in the seventh grade.

“They say: cool, you don’t go anywhere, but everyone is running. Envy, in general. Or maybe because I do not like, like everyone else, to fall a fool, to get a teacher, this is not interesting to me. "

Physical education can only be engaged in the hall. The standards cannot be handed over. Pionerbol - you can. However, it turned out that there is a physical education textbook, you can write reports and submit tests. The last report was on the topic "Running". Irina handed it over "excellent."

Mikhail Bondarev Photo: From the Archive of the Moscow Forum

The creator of the wool rehabilitation center Mikhail Bondarev says that the child who has undergone cancer, psychology of the recidivist. In prison, if you behave according to the rules, everything will be fine - and this is a matter of life and death. After oncology, the most difficult of all children is given precisely that it is not always necessary to act according to the rules, sometimes it needs to be.

It is for this that rehabilitation is needed, Bondarev believes-in order to believe in his strength, in order to finally feel his victory not only over cancer, but also to fear something wrong. Otherwise, he will sit on a bench while everyone plays football. According to Bondarev, in Russia, from 10 to 20 thousand children need rehabilitation.

Last year, Ira went to the international rehabilitation camp in Ireland, where she, reluctantly, was released. The purpose of the program is to "give the children to take a break from crazy parents."

“It was cool there. Without a phone, without a tablet, without the right to communicate with parents. Generally cool! There was an estate, a castle. They lived an international hut, explained by gestures. We rode horses, boats. "

In a child who has undergone oncouses, the psychology of the recidivist Twisting this quote when Ira arrived home and began to show photos, it turned out that half of the card was busy shooting the sky from the porthole. One cloud, second, third. A cloud over Frankfurt, a cloud over Dublin, a cloud over the ocean.

“I went well! So we did not find out what we did with her in the camp. In general, after such shocks, rehabilitation is needed not so much by children as parents, ”summarizes Natasha.

Adult woman

“There was no“ finally ”. It’s just that when I finished taking a heceptin, they did a great examination in which it became clear that he helped. I first ran, or rather, trudged to the church, thanked God, I think this is a miracle. But it turned out that the problems are just beginning. "

First of all, after illness, Lyubov Glazkova threw out the sofa on which she transferred the cancer and bought a new one. And this was the only major purchase - there is no longer enough money for everything else, although her husband is a secured bank employee, and Lyuba herself is a well -known opera producer. Before the illness, she worked with such stars as Angela Georgiu and Jose Kura. But breast cancer coincided with the crisis, and when Lyuba got out, she found herself in a social emptiness. Opera art in the mass consciousness retreated to the threat of the West, and there is no money for it. But the main thing is that she still cannot believe that she got out.

“Each examination for me is a terrible stress. All people on the eve begin to shake - it is not clear what will happen, that there is, that there is no. For many, for many years, nothing has been. And then ... In fact, not a single script is like another. Such comparisons need to be prohibited. But still, we very carefully express our joy. We are very happy, but quickly stew it. The joy is always restrained, always with fear of jinxing, gentlemen to predict. "

When a person finds out about oncodiagnosis, he understands that he cannot make plans-a stop signal triggers. In opera stars, concerts are scheduled for two to three years in advance. And Lyuba can no longer.

“You forbid yourself to think about the future. Now my doctor all the time says: you are healthy, come on, move, system plans. Plans are life. And I can't. Always flags in the head. "

Good news: in Russia excellent treatment of breast cancer. Free and giving good cosmetic effect.

“It’s just amazing, I managed to keep my hair - for this I need to sit with an ice cap on my head during chemotherapy. I was treated in a 62 hospital - fortunately, she served the district in which I was registered. And the surgeon came across to me genius - he knows how to do plastic, takes material from your own abdomen. Dr. Burlakov. Imagine, I wake up - and I have both breasts in place, and my stomach is flat. True, since January 1, 2015 it has already become for money, for free - only oncology. ”

Nevertheless, formally the diagnosis remained the same - the third stage of breast cancer, although de facto Lyuba is already healthy. To somehow turn the situation, Lyuba forced herself to make plans. Now it is starting a charity project: opera stars, men, will convince Russian women to take examination for breast cancer.

In other countries, for example, in the United States, the diagnosis may vary as it sinks - the third stage may well turn into the first or even zero. According to Russian rules, the formula is not subject to change.

“They are idols, women trust them more than the singers. Let them say: do not be afraid, you do not bald. Well, sit with a hat on your head, but save life. But in fact, I can only scream about the “defeat cancer” to the sponsors. A person will never say that himself. We say very quietly to ourselves. "

Illustration: Olga Khaletskaya

Bad news: in Russia there is no such thing as oncopsychology. No one will bother with you immediately after you learned about the diagnosis, nor when the treatment is finished. And you need to mess around, because a person inevitably turns out to be alone. Many ties break off-many do not like cancer patients, fear that they will begin to ask for something, and as if subconsciously are afraid to become infected.

“One of my friends, in whom we had a son to work in the bank, stopped communicating with me as soon as I found out about the diagnosis. And my neighbor runs throughout the house and scandalit because of the garage: “Why does she have a parking lot, she had three months to live.” No one to understand what you feel when you come to the council, and they tell you that there is not enough space for a healthy place, and then you are climbing. ”

The more I listen to it, the more it reminds me of the procedure for a long -term divorce. It seems that they have already put a stamp, divided the property - it would seem that live and rejoice. But the pain does not let go, fear and uncertainty do not allow living further freely and boldly. Lyuba turned to psychologists - they wrote to her phenazepam. She went to church, and she was told that everyone was in the hands of God, and one priest seriously explained that cancer is God's punishment, and it was not necessary to be treated. Of course, not everyone turned away, - the husband remained, another priest remained, who believed that science and medicine were also from God. There were close people who did not abandon. So I, a journalist, sit in front of her, and she says, she says, can not stop. But you also need to be able to talk about this topic, Lyuba is convinced.

“Some were scared, some spoke a bunch of stupid things. From confusion, from misunderstanding. I can’t hear how they pity and bury me, I begin to console everyone myself. This, by the way, is very mobilizing. One company makes a hot line for breast cancer patients - I recently called them, decided to check for lice. Five minutes later, I comforted the doctor who spoke with me in a frog voice. I helped this doctor very well. And if a person who needs help called there? It is necessary for some society, such as “anonymous alcoholics” in order to support each other. For me, these are now women with whom we were treated together. We went astray with them like three frogs, and help each other. Today I have an examination, tomorrow she has panic attacks, the day after tomorrow the third tantrum - this is how we flounder. And do not regret us! They take it away from hysterics in the face, here we need such impudence, habalism. One familiar girl has the fourth stage of lung cancer. I always tell her that everything will be fine. Wait, I say, you will still get up, run in. Hurts? Nothing, everything hurt me too, this is normal. Although I know why her pain is completely different.

This is a lie for salvation. Do you think why people in Moscow jump from the windows? Not from pain, I assure you. We have a bunch of hospices, they do not refuse anywhere. Это душевная боль, с которой они не справляются.»