Conservatives raise uproar over toy hedgehogs, mistaking belly buttons for female reproductive organs

A magazine in the city of Vladimir has accused a local store of selling toy hedgehogs "for adults." According to journalist Yekaterina Zinurova, the hedgehogs appear to be anatomically correct (of the female variety).

"The unambiguous pink hole below the toy's stomach hints so obviously at the sexual organs that it simultaneously provokes laughter and fear. [...] It raises the question: why are the hedgehogs divided into male and female? (By the way, they don't seem to be selling any male hedgehogs.) Are they trying to get the kids to stick their fingers in these things?" Zinurova wrote indignantly.

Zinurova appealed to the local children's rights commissioner, Gennady Prokhorychev, who said he shares her concern. "These toys need to be removed. They're probably sewn together in some basement in Moscow. It's no accident. This is all being done to poison the nation at childhood," Prokhorychev declared, adding, "This kind of 'hedgehog' is thrown our way to test society's reaction. The subtext here is early sex education. If we don't react, then soon we'll be seeing male hedgehogs, too."

According to Internet users, however, Zinurova and Commissioner Prokhorychev have both mistaken the puppet's belly button for a vagina. According to this more plausible interpretation, the suspicious pink hole is actually located at the toy's stomach, not its nether region.

Despite criticism that he's misunderstood the hedgehog puppet's anatomy, Prokhorychev remains confident that these are no innocent belly buttons, noting their worrying depth:

Whatever the true nature of the hedgehogs' mystery hole, the pressure from Zinurova and Prokhorychev proved to be too much: the store in Vladimir has reportedly pulled the toys from its shelves.