In society

Mediafiya. And the Englishwoman shit again!

January 26, 2016 Igor Yakovenko

The dollar is 80, the euro - 85, the oil barrel is already at the price of a container, and then the Englishwoman is still shiting ... In a word, in such a situation it is better to start a review from the good. On the night of 24 to 25 on the air of Russia 1, there was a “duty officer in the country” with Mikhail Zhvanetsky. Mikhal Mikhalch was not alone, but, as usual, with the leading Andrei Maksimov, his duty on the Russian Federation.

Increasingly, when I see them together, Zhvanetsky and Maximov, especially when they go nearby, the high heavy Maximov and the small Zhvanetsky compared to him, I can’t get rid of the feeling that the Zhvanetsky is escorted, they are giving a confession. This sensation is reinforced by the fact that Maximov, before giving Zhvanetsky the opportunity to read his miniatures, necessarily squeezes out of it some politically correct idea. Something that would allow fans of the talent of Mikhail Mikhailovich to assure that his beloved master, like all the others, supports and approves ... that is, not everything, of course, approves, but in the main he is with the people, with the majority, and accordingly, you yourself understand, with the one for whom this is the majority ...

This time, Maksimov asked Zhvanetsky, which, in his opinion, could not be joking on. “Over old age and illnesses,” said Zhvanetsky. But this was clearly not the answer that Maximov needed, so he decided to focus the topic and asked: “Can you joke over the homeland?” “Over the homeland? - asked Zhvanetsky, - You can, why not. " The program in front of my eyes lost an important political load. And Maksimov, hanging all the carcass over Zhvanetsky, asked with pressure: “Can you joke about love for the homeland?” The pressure was so threatening that Zhvanetsky realized that they might not forgive him the wrong answer. “No, you can’t joke about love for the homeland,” the master answered obediently, asking with all his appearance, they say, everything is already, I said what is needed, I can already talk normally with the audience.

I'm afraid I will be forced to constantly violate the ban on the respected master in my publications. Since those methods that manifest their love for the Russian Federation, people who inhabit the TV and the pages of the Russian press are so peculiar that it is not necessary to joke on this, it is enough to quote. What, perhaps, I will do.

"British shits"

The Russian viewer, who watched the Vesti of the Week on 01/24/2015 with Dmitry Kiselev, had to go to bed with a sense of deep satisfaction and gratitude that he lives in Russia, and not in this terrible Europe, where crowds of raped French, Germans and other Swedes rush about in search of salvation.

“Schengen’s collapse” says the inscription on the backdrop of the News of the Week, when Kiselev talks about another abyss, where the unlucky continent rolled once again.

“Europe in one step from the disaster”-this Russian viewer is scared by some deputy of the European Parliament. "Tolerance collapses!" - This is already Dmitry Kiselev gives an eyeliner to one of the key plots of the week, which, according to the laws of the genre, had to be called “Putin and Jews”.

This was last Tuesday, Putin met in the Kremlin with representatives of the European Jewish Congress. And now the president of the Congress Vyacheslav Kantor nailed to Putin that in this Europe they began to treat the Jews again, anti -Semitism grew by 40%, Jews were covered by fear and are ready to run, where they look. Putin listened to the Jewish Yabeda and affectionately lurked with a pen: “Let them go to us. They left the Soviet Union, let them return. ” Representatives of the Jewish Congress laughed merrily Putin's joke, and Vyacheslav Kantor decided to answer in a joke and said that this was a "fundamentally new fundamental idea."

Then they showed a plot that told how the aliens of Muslims in France are flapping synagogues, and someone said that French Jews flee to Russia. Knowing the habits of domestic television masters, you can imagine what efforts they made to find at least one Jew who moved from France to Russia. But, apparently, the search was unsuccessful. Perhaps the next time they will specially break, bring and show.

But in the next plot for Kiselev, a gift was prepared. London judge Owen arranged for him a personal holiday with his decision to kill Litvinenko, in which the Russian deputy of the State Duma Lugovoi, his accomplice Kovtun, acting, probably, as the judge, on behalf of Putin, were found guilty.

I tried to calculate how many times Kiselev uttered the words "The Englishwoman Gatu." But after the seventh time he lost and stopped counting. Kiselev liked these two words so much that he did not want to release them from his mouth until the end of the transmission. Probably, and lay down with them, sucking like a candy.

At first, Kiselev told for a long time how this very English woman had condemned us for centuries. First, Suvorova dragged into the Alps, where Alexander Vasilievich could break, catch a cold and die. Then she, this Englishwoman, persuaded her ambassador, and he killed our king Pavel the First. Then in the First World War made us fight without shells. And all this time it soaked in all kinds of enemies of our people, from Herzen and Lenin to Berezovsky. Not to mention Churchill's intrigues, who persuaded the United States to drop the atomic bomb right on the Kremlin.

Having listed these grievances, Kiselev asked the rhetorical question “Why is the Englishwoman shit?” Why does London not want in the company of Russia, Assad, Hezbollah and the Guardians of the Iranian Revolution to bomb the Syrians, and prefers, together with the United States and the rest of Europe, to participate in the coalition against ISIS and even imposes sanctions against us? And Kiselev did not slow down to give an exhaustive answer. “The UK is afraid of an honest game,” he said solemnly. And this, indeed, explained everything, and most importantly, gave the key to the decision of the London court, which actually turned Putin into the main international criminal on the planet.

Naturally, in the "Vesti of the Week" from Judge Owen and his decision did not leave stone on the stone. The main refutants were Litvinenko’s father, Walter, the brother of the murdered, Maxim, and the former Mi-6 employee Vyacheslav Harrone. Walter Litvinenko with disgust recalls his life in Europe: “What to do in Italy? There is poverty! " He exclaims. "Russia is gaining strength, so the intrigues are weaved against it." Walter Litvinenko reports two important news. Firstly, that his son was killed not by polonium, but by Tallium. And secondly, that he killed his notorious Goldfarb.

The former Mi-6 agent Vyacheslav is hot immediately after the viewers were explained that Litvinenko was poisoned by Tallium and did this Goldfarb, tells the same viewers that, it turns out, Litvinenko himself brought the Polonium, he himself opened it and was quite poisoned.

Still, amazing people, these Russian needlemen! Well, you made a lie to your profession, so lies folding. And then all the time as in a joke: I didn’t take this cup from you, and in general, it was cracked from the very beginning, and in addition, I returned it to you last week safe and safety.

Last time, when they lied about the Boeing Malaysian, in the same program they first said that he was shot down by a Ukrainian pilot, then immediately, not taking a breath that this plane shot down the Ukrainian beech from the ground.

Now, in one plot, the viewer is invited to choose from Tallius, with which Litvinenko poisoned Goldfarb, and Polonium, which Litvinenko himself brought himself and was poisoned by himself.

As the dollar grows and oil falls, the lie in the Russian TV is becoming more and more impudent and clumsy. It is difficult to say whether there is a causal relationship here or is it just a random correlation ...

Beria and Dzerzhinsky against Durilaka Ulyukaeva

“Sunday evening with Vladimir Solovyov” dated 01.24.2015, contrary to usual, it began not with mourning on rolled Europe, not with denunciation of fascism in Ukraine and not even from Syria (it was, but the second number), but with the problems of the Russian budget. And despite the seemingly boring topic, the evening was not languid.

Because parliamentary parties began the election campaign. "It's time to turn to face people!" - It was written on the faces of the Dumans Zyuganov, Mironov, Makarov, Senators of Ryazan and Ryabukhin. As for J., he did not stop his election campaign for a minute.

The deputy Makarov suffered better for the people. He spoke very angrily and indignantly, and at the same time managed to keep a caring expression on his face. "We must stop nightmare people and immediately start doing business!" - the deputy from United Russia, the chairman of the budget and taxes, Andrei Makarov, called on the viewers. He then spoke several times, each time very angrily and indignantly. Moreover, since each time it was impossible to understand who exactly he scolds and who calls, each viewer had to accept these angry reproaches at his own expense and, following Makarov’s call, immediately stop the nightmare and start doing business. For example, since then I’ve been doing this, for a day now no one is a nightmare and have been doing it exclusively with business.

Unlike Makarovsky, Zyuganov’s anger had a very specific address. He began by calling not to pay attention to Durilka Ulyukaev, since the mentioned fool, being as the Minister of Economic Development, constantly falls into the sky with his forecasts.

Here I have to distract from the fascinating plot of Sunday evening for a second, since the Vedomosti newspaper dated 01/25/2015 published an amazing text that not only completely rehabilitates Ulyukaev’s heaven, but also removes the title of “durulka” with his forecasts and demands an extremely respectful attitude towards Alexei Ulyukaev. This text in the “Vedomosti” is called the “Power of Political Forecast”, and it was written by Maxim Buev, the dean of the Faculty of Economics of the European University in St. Petersburg. This dean of Boaev wonders how it turns out that politicians say one thing, but another comes out. And he recalls the Yeltsin “there will be no devaluation”, which he said three days before the collapse of the exchange rate in August 1998. “Then an honest answer to the journalist’s question would become a“ self -filled prophecy ”and would lead the country to the devaluation on the same day,” explains Dean Boaev. “The message of the wrong signal helped the government win a certain time.”

It is amazing that the young (dean of Boaev born in 1975) A graduate of Oxford mentally is no different from the moldy scoop of Zyuganov and all these Duma passes. The dean to Buev, like them, is unknown to the word “reputation”, the enormous economic meaning of the institution of trust, the full destruction of which was one of the reasons for the complete impossibility of building an innovative economy in Russia not related to hydrocarbons.

And in the "Sunday evening", meanwhile, the time has come for J. first J. entered a light controversy with deputy Makarov. In short, its content looked like this:

J.: Stole! Everyone stole !!

Makarov (he trifles his hands to the sky and makes a suffering face): Yes, my pockets are even sewn, I can’t put anything there! (Demonstrates to the public a sewn pocket of a jacket).

J.: You all stole !!

Makarov already silently luggles his hands to the sky and makes his face full of unbearable suffering.

Then J., feeling that the enemy is defeated, goes to the development of the conquered territory. "The market and democracy are destroying us!" “Busily informs J.“ To cancel the market and democracy and shoot millionaires every week, ”J. gives orders to the invisible performers. “Beria! Dzerzhinsky! " - The leader of the LDPR calls for the rescue.

“Stolypin - Stalin! Stolypin - Stalin! ” "The full nationalization of everything!" "Vote for the LDPR!" Jews who cross these rather incoherent slogans becomes like a large elderly parrot who is trying to attract attention with the pronunciation of words, the meanings of which never knew.

And here, feeling that the enemy was exhausted, he screamed the deputy of the onlyoross Makarov: “There is one person in the country to whom everyone trusts! And this is the president of the country, not you! ” At that moment, Makarov was not enough only leather and Mauser to become exactly the commissar, who had risen alone on the attack against an superior enemy. Indeed, we must have a remarkable courage to shout this in Solovyov’s studio.

The season of hunting for the voter is open. The main votes will regularly gather in the Studio of Solovyov and other premises of federal channels. In September, another experiment will be conducted over the Russians population. Who knows, if this experiment leads to the usual result of the last fifteen years, perhaps the unknown bearer who has chosen Russia for his entertainment and for what century it has not letting it out, will finally lose interest in it and break the boring toy.


Photo: Russia. Moscow. 01/20/2014. The writer Mikhail Zhvanetsky acts during the ceremony of presentation of the "Rule" award at the Moscow Provincial Theater. Stanislav Krasilnikov / TASS.