How to get drunk for one dollar

If everything is bad with you, do not rush to cut out of this world embraced by a flame, because especially for you, our full -time alcoholic Alexei Sinyakov (the name is present) compiled a crisis instruction and tell you how you can fall into one dollar (this is a lot).

- How are you, descendants? - asks Gagarin from the cosmos.
“Everything is in vomiting and everyone is hard,” says the black -and -sooty, sitting in the train Moscow - Petushki.

This is because everyone saves.

Russian history has taught us how to save. It is wrong to save - to drink gasoline, prepare aperitifs from household chemicals, extract alcohol from fuel for strategic bombers, cleanse the glue glue using a drill , separating alcohol from adhesive fractions. You have to pay health for this. But it is not necessary to etch more in order to save - today there are at least five relatively safe (and not so) ways to get drunk by only $ 1. And now I will tell you about them.

The easiest

In college, my mother gave me 30 rubles a day. My specialty was called “automation of special equipment and production processes”, and I still have a bad idea of ​​who I studied. Parents gave friends more money, so they drank “good” beer with vodka. Was 2002. I was only enough for a bottle of a cocktail in a one and a half liter bottle - an analogue of the Vinograd Day. But soon the friends themselves sank to my level. And finances have nothing to do with it.

No one had money for a cafe, but everyone wanted to drink alcohol in warmth. But with beer or vodka in college, the guard could catch up, and the expulsion threatened for alcohol in the walls of the former vocational school. In the nearest Azerbaijani stall, we bought one and a half -liter bottles with Tarhun or Duchees color liquid and went to college. Forbidden labels were torn from the bottles, and the alcoholic cocktail turned in the eyes of the guard and teachers into innocent soda, after which many fell asleep in the rear desks.

Today, rare stores sell “grape day” or “one and a half” more than one dollar. When you go to any wine store, you can immediately see patriotism. The bottles of this carbonated fluid are enough for one person. The highest effect is have one and a half liter cocktails in the morning, preferably from a strong hangover and on an empty stomach - before taking water and food. Here in one dollar you can kill two birds with one stone at once - Gaziki gives oxygen to the poisoned body, and alcohol initially leads into a tone, which soon turns into insanity.

And if you tear off the label, then the “grape day” can be drunk in the subway, as we did in college. By the way, I did not finish it - I was expelled from the first year for poor performance.

Izki

Judging by the works, even the economical Venedikt Erofeev could not always get drunk on one dollar. For example, the cocktail “The Spirit of Geneva” (the perfumes “White Lilac”-50 g, a means of sweating legs-50 g, Zhigulevskoye beer-200 g. Alcohol lacquer-150 g.) Demanded the purchase of a “White Lilac” bottle, which in the early 70s cost as many as 4 rubles 50 cents. The money is considerable. Today, these perfumes are called “vintage” and cost an almost ruin amount - from 4,000 to 18,000 rubles (where does Putin look?).

We were more fortunate. And we have more opportunities to get drunk on the dollar. The “dirty green piece of paper” allows you to get drunk even in 2016 even an active Moscow homeless person. Moreover, getting drunk beautifully and with taste - so that with every sip to turn in the eyes of passers -by into a romantic French clochar.

This, of course, is about wine.

The cheapest option is the white “Chio San” and “ripe cherry” of the same brand: in some supermarkets you can find this drink at a price of only 60 - 70 rubles per liter. His taste will first surprise you, and then disappoints, but when it disappointed, you will not care. I drank a liter of “Chio Sana” and fell asleep in the subway, waiting for me to wake up vigilant police at the Novyasenevskaya end -line station.

Another option is Winnings. This red semi -sweet wine in the package can also be purchased within one dollar. At first, it will delight you with a mild flavor of compote-the first glass can be drunk in one gulp-and then, perhaps, will arouse pan-Slavic sentiments, and you will want to exterminate cosmic junction of the-proors , Vinnogor is made in St. Petersburg under the license of brothers-USSs.

I once saw a homeless person on Tverskaya after the package of Winnings sang “Farewell of the Slav”. And no one looked at him condemningly. Perhaps here it is - Russian collegiality.

Substances

Peter I and, of course, Stalin are to blame for everything. Peter I issued the “Decree on the expansion of the crops of flax and hemp”, and under Stalin, special benefits were provided for the crops of hemp and personal plots.

Students-historians of the Moscow Pedagogical Institute went to undergo archaeological practice in the Republic of Bashkortostan. The nearest store was outside the horizon, but there was no moonshine in the villages. Those who were more careful for their profession brought to Bashkiria a canister of ethyl alcohol. Traces of the activities of Peter I and Stalin grew nearby, but, as usual, they did not cause the proper effect during smoking.

Then the teachers decided to go in the other way-they insisted on a dope-grass alcohol. Alas, I did not try this drink, but classmates said that only two glasses were enough to go to shit. Some were taken to the tents, like the Kulikovo fields, some tried to take away, but they could not, because an unprecedented force woke up in the body. True, there was a minus - this drink turned out to be so fattened and nuclear that after each overturned glass it was necessary to exhale and say: Uuurr! (perhaps something Bashkir).

Today, 200 grams of ethyl alcohol can be purchased within the dollar. And if there are industrial hemp plantations nearby, then such a drink should be enough for a couple of evenings. However, I do not advise you to try - everyone has different tolerance of cannabinol.

With this drink, an archaeologist was cured, who was bitten by Viper in Bashkiria. After a poisonous bite, he refused to go to the hospital and work. But he began to drink 100 - 200 grams of alcohol on hemp daily. Five days later it turned out that he was completely healthy.

Then it turned out that he was not bitten by a viper, but already.

A submachine drink

To drink one dollar, you can sit without a ticket to the train and go away to the countryside. You will not have enough dollar to the moonshine, but you will have a unique chance to try the drink that kills on the spot as a maxim machine gun.

This drink is called "Maxima." He received the affectionate name to the extent of a naughty child in honor of his surrogate father - the maxima wiper. It can be purchased for a ridiculous amount in the region of 30-50 rubles per half liter.

The history of cooking remains a mystery, but it can be assumed that alcohol is cleansed of solid impurities and completely toxic substances and is served to the table. First, I tested Maxima at the stake: I dripped vodka into the flame - and it flashed slightly. He dripped Maxima there - he almost burned his face.

“Maxima” is drunk very difficult and in the morning gives you the botox lips of the socialite, the eyes of the mayor of Moscow and the speech of Vitaly Klitschko. It is extremely not recommended to dare to do this drink, because you can blind if you have not yet been blinded yesterday.

Refuse glasses

Once I drank 300 grams of vodka and fell. Then he drank the pellets of fifteen vodka and also fell. Many people know that the matter is in the containers.

The volume of pellets starts at 2 milliliters. Alcohol passes the esophagus and liver and enters the brain instantly. For the proper effect, after each eel of vodka, it is better to squat. Another way is to arrange the pellets on the stairs, one at each step. What is the matter, it is difficult for me to explain, but I myself saw that physical exercises sharply enhance intoxication from the pods. You can’t buy one bottle of vodka for the dollar, but you can stretch the pleasure from it for a couple of weeks.

Another way to get drunk on one dollar with its entire form hints at the rejection of traditional glasses - this is the famous "tincture of hawthorn." As you know, tincture is sold in small bottles similar to glass containers for baby food. It is sold without a recipe. You can buy two bottles of 100 grams per dollar. The welcoming arrangement of each bottle to you is determined by its seventy -degree fortress. Unlike vodka or Maxima, the risk of poisoning “hawthorn” maximum is still a medicine. But in no case should they abuse people with a sick heart. For a relaxing action or light intoxication, it is enough to pour a little “tincture of hawthorn” into tea.

And you will immediately find out that you can be relaxed at a low ruble course. How do you put on 1 dollar?