Perverted form of care

Journalist Pavel Nikulin recalls his childhood friend, who was regularly beaten by his mother

My grandmother loved Kolya and called him a stroller. Grandmothers generally love boys like Kolya. The reason for love was Colin's good appetite. Kolya ate exclusively buckwheat at home, and Kolya was coming off my guest and ate everything that he was treated. Grandmother loved to cook and sometimes managed to cook for lunch for the first few and several second dishes. They found each other.

Mom also loved Kolya. The fact is that my mother is a teacher, and she is characterized by a reverent attitude towards children. Especially to such as Kolya. He was a difficult child, studied at the age of 16 in the eighth grade, smoked and drank. And Kolya was constantly beaten by his mother. After the beatings, she used to put him out into the street in his home. Somehow in winter, he came to visit me without a jacket and in slippers on his bare foot.

A couple of times I saw home scandals at his house: in all directions, furniture, clothes, books and all kinds of computer details that Kolya had been accumulating to assemble the computer flies. A rather unpleasant sight. In addition, it was completely not clear what I could do. I loved Kolya very much, he was my friend, we were peers, and we had a similar background: we grew up without fathers, rested in the summer in the same camp, loved a cheap port and were in love with the same girl. For friendship at 16 , this was enough.

True, I considered myself a bad friend - I could not help Rale to deal with his problems . From the side of help, I also did not have to wait. All my parents familiar to me struck their children, it seemed normal . I also often got it from my mother, so it was not clear to me at all where the border of the permitted violence in Kolina’s family was supposed to take place. It’s just that sometimes he appeared at my house with a broken face.

- Mother? I asked .

“ Mom, ” answered Kolya.

Colina Mom loved him. She was experiencing even for his future. She clearly wanted to protect him from the vices and dangers of this world. It was a perverted form of care. I saw it like that. My family and I did not intervene in what was happening, they simply gave a roof for the possibility of waiting for a storm at home.

Once he came to us pale, depressed, with a barely noticeable abrasion on the cheekbone.

- Mother? I guessed .

“ Garbage, ” Kolya answered gloomily.

It turned out that he complained about his mother in the police. The duty officer sent him to the interrogator, and the interrogator, having learned that he was offered to resolve the situation with domestic violence, simply beat Kolya in his office. In the end, he invited my minor to a friend to file a complaint about beatings in the family with a legal representative. Well, that is, with my mother. I was even bribed by a cruel sense of humor of an employee of the district police department, but my evil grin did not solve the problem.

To be honest, I do not know how his situation was resolved at all. Just at some point, Kolya became an adult, began to steal mopeds and bicycles, trade in spice and get into trouble. Mom stopped hitting him, and then thundered to a psychiatric hospital.

It is worth assuming that he somehow copes with what happened to him, although it seems to me that he would be better if , then, 12 years ago, some special guys helped him. Still, strangers and mom are not the best mediators of family conflicts, but drug trafficking and theft are not the most stable way to earn money. We have not seen each other for several years. I hope he is alive.

In short, it would be nice if Kolya had helped professionally then. Now such assistance can be provided by the Foundation "Preserving Life". He conducts training seminars for parents, psychologists, specialists from guardianship and trusteeship bodies. The fund’s plans are a rehabilitation camp for a hundred children who have experienced injury. Also, the fund plans to consult psychologists and art therapist for another 500 children. In addition, the fund intends to release an information brochure for help from children who have survived the abuse. There will be indicated the telephone of the hotline "The child is in danger." To collect for this you need to 1 900 040 rubles.