Today, in the Suicide of the Day, the story of one of the worst criminals of the 21st century, Adam Lansa from Newtown, who shot his own mother, twenty -six people in his native school, and eventually put a bullet into his head.
1.
At 9:30, when classes began at the Sandy Hook school, the doors always locked the doors - so that none of the children would go out without supervision and that outsiders would not get into the building. However, few expected that this could happen : Newtown is a small provincial town where less than twenty -eight thousand people live, and the crime rate is very low. But at about 9:30 in the morning, shots were heard on the ground floor of the school and sirens scored. Teachers who at that time had already begun to conduct classes rushed to lock the doors. Reader Laura Feynstein called the director: “Hello, are we all right?” “No, in the building a man with weapons,” they answered her at the other end. However, this was already clear: shots came from the corridor one by one. Even in the school gym, where, due to the constant knock of balls and children's running around, extraneous sounds usually do not penetrate, it was heard how people clapping and screaming nearby. Four -graders, who at that time were in the physical education lesson, froze and began to listen. - Hands up! - came from the corridor. - Don't shoot!
What happened next, the children no longer found out - the teacher took them to the toilet adjacent to the gym, and closed there. At the same moment, the school librarian Ivonn S., together with the assistant, tried to drive eighteen children into the utility room, who held their first lesson in the library that day. Some schoolchildren then said that they heard about a hundred shots that morning. This is quite possible - as it turned out later, in each of his victims, Adam Lans shot several times. Eleven bullet wounds were found in one of the dead.
When the shots finally calmed down, the teachers and students remained for some time in locked classes, utility rooms and toilets-where they managed to hide. About fifteen minutes no one spoke, everyone tried not to even move. Then they announced the loudspeaker: "Everything is fine, you can leave the shelters, it is safe." The children rushed to the exit from school - to where the frightened parents were already waiting for them. A police officers stood near each door - they met the children, asked them to close their eyes and spent their hands past those sections of the corridor where the murders occurred.
That day, twenty -year -old Adam Lanza shot twenty -six -six people at the Sandy Hook school.
Among them were twenty students, as well as the school principal, psychologist and four teachers. Before going with a rifle to the school where he once studied, Adam shot his own mother-she was lying in bed at that time, and he made four shots in her head. And when the police arrived at Sandy Hook, Adam put the bullet into his own head and died on the spot - they later found a bullet in the wall of the classroom, where he committed suicide. If you consider Nancy - the mother of the killer - and Adam himself, then that day he killed twenty -eight people. But usually, when they talk or write about this tragedy in the media, the number twenty -six appears - the mother who has grown such a monster often refuses to consider a victim.
2.
On that day, Peter Lanza was at work. He left the office to have a bite, and in the lobby he discovered that all his colleagues crowded around the TV and discussed the last news story - a massive murder occurred at the Sandy Hook school. “Wow,” said Peter. “But both of my sons studied at this school.” He returned to the office, and a little later from the next news report he learned that two young people were suspected of what happened - at the age of twenty and twenty -four years. Just so much at that time was his sons. Peter immediately became clear. He rushed home and saw that a reporter would be on duty near his door. Falling around in the living room, Peter turned on the news - the main suspect called him his eldest son, Ryan, but his father knew exactly who actually arranged a massacre. From the very beginning, he knew that something was wrong with Adam, and over the years the situation was getting worse. He dialed his new wife and shouted into the phone: “This is Adam, I think this is Adam. This is Adam. " He could not pronounce anything else. Shelley for the first few seconds could not understand what happened, and then dropped the phone and screamed.
Peter cannot say exactly at what point Adam became strange - most likely he was so since birth. He began to speak very late, but at the same time he perfectly understood someone else's speech and remembered the words. He was also too sensitive to touch - Peter and Nancy had to cut the shortcuts from his son’s clothes and buy things from only the softest materials. When he went to school, he often said that he felt strange smells - no one could understand what exactly Adam had in mind. He also constantly washed his hands. When the boy was taken to the doctor, he was diagnosed with a violation of the processing of sensory information, which means excessive visual, auditory and olfactory sensitivity. However, many researchers believe that such a disorder is more or less inherent in every sixth child, so there was nothing especially to worry about.
“He was strange, but normal, understand? - recalls Peter. “He liked to be at school, and then, when he had already grown up, he talked about how great it would be to become a child again.” Adam and his father were very close - often for several hours they gathered whole cities from Lego together for several hours and invented about these cities of history.
Both Peter and Nancy thought that their son was just a very unusual boy, but sooner or later everything would be fine.
So that he does not be left alone, Nancy left work and now sat with him all day when he was not at school.
With age, Peter began to suspect that his son could have any of the forms of autism-Adam poorly recognized human emotions. Somehow he got an important role in the school performance, and he stood in front of the mirror for hours, trying to learn to portray joy, surprise or pain on his face-it was difficult for him to catch how exactly the expression of his face was different with these feelings.
By the fifth grade, the teachers of Adam noticed that the guy had a sharp self -esteem - he constantly thought that those around him were better than him, and he did not deserve anything good in life. Around the same time, Adam, along with a classmate, wrote a rather strange book - “Grand Granny’s Adventure”. It was about an old woman whose stick could shoot real bullets: an elderly lady walked around the city and killed people aimlessly. In the third chapter, the old woman and her son planned to make a scarecrow from a little boy for her fireplace shelf, and in another chapter one of the heroines of the novel said: “I like to do people painfully. Especially children. " Friends tried to start their business and sell the resulting book to other students, but as soon as the teachers learned about it, the manuscript was confiscated. Having carefully studied it, school staff came to the conclusion that such cruelty is not entirely normal for ten -year -old boys. In the personal file of Adam, an entry appeared:
"Smart, but not quite balanced, can be antisocial." Meanwhile, the marriage of his parents was gradually destroyed - Peter was mired in work, and he and Nancy were more and more moved away from each other. At some point, it became clear that children are the only thing that still unites them. However, after a divorce in 2001, they tried to do everything so that the children would not suffer. Peter lived nearby and on weekends often drove the boys to walk into the mountains or just came to visit. Adam, although he remained “unusual”, began to be interested in politics and economics and expressed very mature judgments. Then he was carried away by the history of World War II and weapons. It seemed that there was nothing terrible about this: the guy never behaved aggressively towards others, once he even stated that he wanted to buy to Christmas on the saved pocket money toys for children from the shelter. The father immediately took him to the store, and they chose gifts together.
When the son moved to high school, Peter and Nancy began to worry about him much more. If earlier his class was sitting all day in one office, now teenagers constantly moved from one room to another. It turned out that for Adam this is a real torture, because of the change of situation, he is nervous and cannot concentrate. Mother had to print all the textbooks for him in a black and white version-the usual turned out to be too colored for him and “overloaded” his psyche. He began to receive bad grades and closed in himself, and at some point his parents noticed that Adam no longer looks into people's eyes. Once he said that he hates birthdays, holidays and indeed everything that differs from ordinary weekdays-much better when everything is ordered and happens on the schedule. He began nervous breakdowns and panic attacks. But still, even at such moments, he never caused any of the teachers or classmates-he could be harmful only to himself.
When Adam was thirteen years old, Peter and Nancy took him to a psychiatrist. He easily diagnosed Asperger's syndrome, and his parents were even delighted at first.
“Adam, we have good news for you,” they told the son. “We now know why you often feel so bad, and we can help you.”
But the guy was categorically disagreeing with his diagnosis and that he needs any help at all.
Parents thought to transfer Adam to a special school for children with such violations, but for this it would be necessary to move - such a change in the situation could only harm. Then they tried to send their son to a Catholic school - they hoped that in an educational institution, where everything is strictly, ordered, and around everything was dressed in black and white, he could become calmer. But this did not help, so on the advice of the psychiatrist the son was transferred to home schooling. Now he was constantly with his mother, and Peter felt how he was losing control of the situation. His ex -wife gradually became obsessed with his youngest son, and Peter had no place for this world. Of course, he still loved Adam, took him for walks and tried to see as often as possible. But Nancy's behavior became manic. Once, when Peter told her about the next walk in the mountains, he mentioned that his son stopped tieing the laces. "Did he tie them himself?!" - the ex -wife was indignant.
At the age of fourteen, Adam was taken to another psychiatrist. He noticed that the young man looks down all the time, refuses to shake his hand when meeting, does not touch the metal surfaces and does not allow his mother to touch them. It was very similar to a severe form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Having talked with Nancy, the doctor found out that Adam also does not allow her to lean on objects in the house, and if she passes by him when he sits on the sofa, he often makes her return and go again.
The doctor was very concerned not so much even to the state of Adam as the fact that his mother creates a certain artificial environment for him, in which everything adapts to his needs - it was obvious that, if so, the guy could never communicate with the outside world, only with Nancy, which gradually became a captive of this little world. The teenager was discharged by escitalopram, but the effect turned out to be frightening - after three days Adam began to complain about dizziness, then his tongue began to be braided, the guy lost orientation in space and could not even open a box with flakes. He refused to take the medicine further and since then he has never agreed to any other medication.
Although Adam visited several good psychologists, not one of the doctors noticed in him any signs of cruelty towards others. And the disorders that he diagnosed does not imply danger to other people. Now, four years later, Peter asks himself - but what if his son did not have Asperger's syndrome? Or, besides him, there was something that no one paid attention to? Could he-the father-then do something to prevent the tragedy in the future? After all, this does not happen just like that.
With a pronounced Asperger syndrome, a person can, for example, respond with aggression if someone has abruptly invaded his personal space. But nothing of the kind happened to Adam. He just took a rifle and shot twenty -seven people, and then himself.
Moreover, he planned this in advance-destroyed a hard drive and for some reason put the documents of his older brother in his pocket.
Most likely, it was really possible to guess about something in advance. Later, during the investigation, it turned out that on the Internet Adam anonymously discussed his fantasies about mass murder on the forums. He also created pages dedicated to famous killers and maniacs on Wikipedia, and showed an amazing awareness and could describe everything to the smallest detail. But the mother, who was obsessed with his son and performing his every whim, did not think of traceing what he was doing on the Internet, and her father was more and more removed from the upbringing of Adam. Gradually, both his son and his ex -wife, Peter began to communicate mainly by e -mail.
“He had a terrible night,” wrote Nancy in 2008. - He spent forty -five minutes in the bathroom and did not go to school ”(at that time, Adam sometimes attended important classes and control). Two weeks later, she sent such a letter: “I hope that today he will pick up himself in his hands and be able to appear at school. But so far I doubt it: he spent an hour in the same position and did not utter a word. ” Later: “Adam again had a terrible night. He carried out absolutely all objects from his room, leaving only the bed. ”
Very often, when Peter wanted to come to see his son, Nancy stopped him - she said that today Adam has a “bad day” and he did not want to see anyone. But the guy liked to go to Tire-Nancy herself was once fond of shooting and now taught her her son. He was clearly interested, but she could not imagine how it all would end. They had a lot of different weapons at home, which the mother did not even try to hide from her son. He was already quite an adult young man.
In the fall of 2009, Peter bought his son a car and taught himself to drive - Adam carefully complied with all the rules, a more accurate driver and it was impossible to imagine. True, after that they did not get closer to their father. Once they quarreled due to admission to college, and after that Adam refused to see his father. “He doesn't want to see you. I will try to talk with him again, ”wrote Nancy. “But so far every time I try to do this, he locks up in the bathroom and cries, lying on the floor.”
Those who talked with Nancy at that time suspect that at some point she began to deceive herself-closing her in a small artificial world together with her son, lost a sense of reality. Once she told a friend that Adam is already an adult boy and, probably, he should not live with his mother for so long-because someday he should have a girl. At the same time, all postmen, volunteers and employees of free district services knew that they should not call the door of the house where Nancy and Adam live - for the unknown reason, their inhabitants began to be afraid.
Peter, who had not seen his youngest son for several years, reassured himself that Adam becomes an adult-maybe soon he will begin some kind of his own life. This is natural when adolescents begin to communicate less with their parents. True, he did not know that Adam also stopped communicating with his mother. Nancy really wanted to show that everything was in order with her son and she did not need someone to intervene in their affairs and said nothing when he first began to lock himself in the room, and then brought all the conversations to electronic correspondence. At the same time, she told Peter less and less about what was happening in their house. The letters of the ex -wife became very concise: “Adam is fine, and he became more independent. He thinks about returning to school and finishing it. ” What actually happened in this small closed space, no one knows, and now he will never know.
3.
Today Peter does not like to get acquainted with new people. Each time you have to pronounce your name, and then they look at it with curiosity: is it not your father that maniac from Sandy-Hook? ” For several years, he removed all the children's photographs of Adam and the eldest son - Ryan - to the basement. On the one hand, he was painful to look at the image of Adam. On the other hand, leaving only cards with the eldest son would be somehow dishonest towards the younger. In the end, they were native people.
Once Peter had a dream: he walked along the corridor, and suddenly someone began to break the door next to him. A hand appeared because of this door, and it became clear that it was Adam. “And the most vile - I felt scared, unbearably scary,” says Peter. “But I was never afraid of my son.” Только потом я понял, что это не мой страх, а страх всех тех людей, на которых он напал».
В новом доме у Питера и его нынешней жены Шелли повсюду стоят нераспечатанные коробки. Люди со всех концов света присылают подарки: библии, плюшевые игрушки, церковные кресты. Есть даже один, сделанный заключёнными в тюрьме. Ещё присылают конфеты, но на всякий случай Питер решил их не есть — вдруг кто-то захочет его отравить после того, что случилось? Но ничего из того, что присылают, он не выкидывает. Кроме подарков, люди шлют тысячи писем. Например, однажды пришло письмо от женщины, чей брат расстрелял прихожан церкви и застрелился сам. Она написала, что очень сожалеет и что, если понадобится, Питер всегда может позвонить ей. Ещё была записка от женщины, чей муж зарезал их общего ребёнка. Многие рассказывали, что заказывали мессы по Адаму. Однажды Питер набрался смелости и предложил родителям погибших школьников из «Сэнди-хук» встретиться с ним. Они разговаривали примерно три часа, и к концу разговора родители жертв сказали, что они простили Адама. Питер не поверил своим ушам. Простил ли он сам своего сына? He does not know that. Но он уверен, что, если бы Адам никогда не родился, так было бы лучше для всех.
Текст Юлия Дудкина Москва 