On the verge

Children with severe disabilities need special care. Their parents have not taken a vacation for years, cease to meet with friends, forget about their personal lives. In a guest house in St. Petersburg, they can temporarily take such a child and look after him

We help the prospects to help

The boy Vlad recently turned eight years old. He has a Down syndrome. He met his birthday in a guest house. Mom Vlad Olga is depressed and is in deep depression. She does not cope with household chores, searches for work intensely and dreams of silence. In order to find strength, Olga needs a little free time

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My life is over

Olga 51 years old. But it looks much younger. A well -groomed, fragile woman with long hair. Vlad is her third child, he was born with Down syndrome, and her first thought was to abandon him. But a day after the birth, she decided: in spite of everything she would educate him.

Olga’s life shared “before” and “after”. After the birth of her son, she threw her favorite work, stopped dating friends. Vlad did not manage to arrange in kindergarten: he was often sick, lay in the hospital, he needed constant care.

Vladik with mom Olga Vladik with mom Olga

Olga studied on a computer technique in the 1980s, but did not work long by profession: the skills gained were out of almost immediately. Olga had to earn a living by selling a coat in the market and newspapers in stalls. She found good work in the office with decent earnings only on the eve of the birth of Vladik.

“I have everything somersault, there was no case in my life when everything would be fine,” Olga explains very quickly and emotionally.

Olga was married three times. The first time she married at 18 years old, after five years, marriage broke up. With a second husband, a musician, lived poorly and hard. He used drugs, then he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Olga looked after him for a long time, endured: “Endless psychiatrists,“ fast ”, police, knocked out doors, windows, broken furniture, endless humiliation and poverty.” In marriage, they lived for three years and 15 years in divorce.

"I have everything somersault, there was no case in my life when everything would be fine"

“By stupidity, she prescribed him (he was nonresident). At first she tried to fight for him, then, when she realized that everything was in vain - for the sake of children, to get rid, expel, write out. But he did not want to leave, and none of his relatives was doing. The only person who helped me send him home to my mother in a four -room apartment is my third husband, Vladik's father. ”

Vladik

The third husband, dad Vlad, is also a musician, but works as a taxi driver. He loves to drink, after which he disappears for a long time. That is why Olga recently dispersed with him. Now copes with all one.

Olga has a daughter and son from previous marriages. With an adult daughter, she communicates and rarely seen, but her daughter still sometimes helps Olga with money. There was a tragedy with his son in the army. He had to perform surgery on the brain, but the family did not wait for disability pensions from the state. Olga cannot talk about this in detail - he immediately begins to cry.

At the age of 42, when Olga got married for the third time, she and her husband decided to have a child. According to her, doctors simply forgot to send her to take an analysis to detect Down syndrome during pregnancy. She learned about this diagnosis only after Vlad's birth. It was a terrible blow.

My husband and I wrote a temporary abandonment of the child. And changed their minds every other day

“If I found out about the diagnosis before, I would not save the child,” Olga says confidently and sadly. - I had a very hard life. And then I had to take it diagnosed. Doctors advised to refuse. I was not forced. It was so bad for me that my husband and I wrote a temporary abandonment of the child. And they changed their minds every other day. All relatives said that they would help us. But no one in the end helped. I was left with him alone. I foresaw that it would be so. While he was small, all the grandmothers loved him, came to visit him. Then they forgot. Now my mother is already old, it is sick, even the diaper will not be able to change it. So bitter that I can’t help her and the eldest son, who almost does not get out of bed. I only look at how they both fade away. ”

Vladik loves sound and musical toys very much Vladik

Now Olga Vlad will never abandon anything: this is her son. She says that it is difficult for her to cope with him, and her life has long ended. Olga is intensely looking for work on the Internet, but so far all searches are unsuccessful.

“Now the state pays a pension and a benefit that we do not poverty with Vladik, but the way of life itself is driven into depression. On the nannies, the seats, of course, do not have enough money. The forces are fading away. I am 51 years old, Olga sighs. - I am already laughing at my life. Otherwise, do not survive. I have some kind of fatigue forever. I love silence. And now I’m all the bonded, since it is necessary to change the diaper, since - to calm it, feed it. It even seems to me that I want to move away from him. He comes to me, and I am from him. We are always together with him, one cannot leave one, and sometimes I want to stay alone! ”

"We are always together with him, one cannot leave one, and sometimes I want to stay alone"

Olga hopes that next year Vlad will be able to go to a specialized school or boarding school. They wanted to give this year already, but because of his health, it did not work again. But at the same time, Olga is very scary for Vlad, afraid that they will offend him there.

Friends Olga do not support: the best friend advised to abandon Vladik. Olga stopped talking to her. Yes, and with other acquaintances there is no desire to communicate - they will ask how she is doing, and she avoids this question in every way.

Vladik

Olga has no time to test his health. She has a back, there are problems with the thyroid gland (since the nervous system is exhausted), the tumor in the chest progresses.

She gave to Vlad’s guest house so far twice: for one night, then for two. For this short time, she was able to fulfill her little dream: she brought the perfect order in the apartment, she began a small repair. Now we need to deal with another urgent problem: Olga has an emergency room in the apartment in which the floor failed. She knows that she needs to be sued, apply to the inspection. But there is no time for this yet.

Vlad is loved here

Read also Olga Shelest: Olga Shelest, the mother of two little daughters, is good at a party that parents should devote all their free time to children. But even she agrees that mothers sometimes need a vacation. And in this they are helped by the project "Guest House"

In the game room of the guest house, Vlad sits on the floor, on the rug. He is very small in stature, he has blond hair and a tired look. He looks five years old.

In his hands, Vlad holds a musical toy, with which he almost does not part. The boy often puts her to his ear, listens to the "lullaby of the bear." He constantly sways back and forth and turns his thumbs on his hands.

Vlad does not talk and does not respond to requests. Sometimes he begins to scream loudly, as if whining. “He expresses his emotions so,” the social workers of the guest house explain.

“Who is smiling with us? Vlad is smiling! " - says and sits next to him on the floor of a social worker Tatyana.

She strokes Vlad on the back, gives him a rubber mug of tea and tries to wipe his nose. But Vlad resists and goes to the sofa.

It happens that Vlad suddenly begins to cry. Then Tatyana comes to him, hugs and reassures him. This helps: even if Vlad breaks out of his arms, he stops crying. And when the boy begins to suck his fingers in her arms, the girl immediately brings him cookies.

Tatyana works as an assistant to a social worker in a guest house for the first day. She studies in the third year of the pedagogical on a defectologist. He says that she dreamed of working in a guest house for a long time.

Vladik and employee of the guest house Tanya Vladik and employee of the guest house Tanya

“We are opening great opportunities for parents. Our children can show themselves in a new way, open up. The climate in the family may improve. If the children are in a good mood, then their parents too. ”

Tatyana looks after the wards, cooks them food, feeds them, plays with them, changes the diapers and puts it to bed. As a real mother, the girl reads books at night and gently talks with the children.

Volunteer Maxim, also a student, tells that Vlad is hyperactive, but he easily copes with him.

“I somehow played him on the guitar, and he calmed down,” says Maxim. - He also loves when he is pumped in a hammock. Of course, he must be monitored constantly, he loves and gnaw everything that lies badly, a sponge for washing dishes, for example. Vladik, I think, is more than the audience, he does not like it when they touch him. But he is not aggressive, if he wants, he will go into his hands. ”

The house needs help

In a guest house, no more than three wards can live at the same time. Now there are no free places. A child can be left for a day and a month. The term depends on how difficult life situation is. The curator of the guest house Galina Vikhreva said that employees work in three shifts, replacing each other. And while there is no way to attach to each child one social worker.

"Someone will say:" Think, only three children! " - emotionally explains Galina. - But it is very difficult. One boy is a lying, another girl in a wheelchair, and Vlad is very active. The project is expensive, but it is worth it. Families receive support. For some day, you need it! These mothers, as a bare wire, are constantly in depression. And this couple of days saves them. ”

Vladik in his room in a guest house

About 40 families pass through the guest house over the year. Each of the wards, a child with developmental disorders, needs to pay a lot of attention. Social workers monitor the guys, cook them food, feed them, put them to bed, put to the toilet, do homework with them.

Read also Simple stories in the guest house accept wards with developmental disabilities

In 2016, 95% of the work of the “guest house” was covered by two private donors. But for 2017, funding has not yet been found. Money is needed for the salary of a social worker, seven assistants and cleaners.

For Olga, several days without a son have become the long -awaited psychological unloading. Any donation, especially monthly, can bring such tired mothers as Olga from depression, let them exhale a little. Vlad will be able to visit the guest house more often, and his mother can find a job, undergo treatment in the hospital and solve household problems.