Zhenya learns to live

Wife 23, and he has autism. But this does not prevent him from leading his life filled with events: every week the theater, dancing, pottery workshop are waiting for Zhenya every week

Help Anton here to help nearby

The main impression of the last months is a training apartment in which Zhenya lived with three more students of the Center “Anton here nearby” for four months. In recent months, Zhenya made an incredible breakthrough: he trains, cooks and removes. We talked with Zhenya Elvira Eduardian about their history with Zhenya History and about what for her son the opportunity to learn to live independently.

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About childhood

When Zhenya was born, I immediately realized that something was wrong with him. I started walking around the doctors, and they told me: "Mommy, calm down, your child has a number one health group." It was probably something intuitive, because it was the first child: how could I determine that something was wrong with him? But I saw that he was not looking into my eyes, that he was reacting not so that he was behind. If other children already held a rattle with their hands, he did not hold, if they ate with a spoon, he still held a rattle.

I did not have time for despair, for depression. My second wind opened. I rolled up my sleeves, and we ran to the doctors, according to the procedures. He had severe headaches - he did not sleep at night. The mother -in -law found me at that time of a new doctor - an osteopath, who relieved his wife’s headaches. Slowly we did something all the time. At four, Zhenya did not speak - they put us schizophrenia and calmed down. Our doctors have schizophrenia, like acute respiratory infections, they put them instead of everything that they don’t know.

The group is set to the group: to recall and play the case when the fear of the photo was overcome: Alina Inozemtseva for TD Zhenya in the theater skill lesson Photo: Alina Inozemtseva for TD

Autism was given to us only when we entered school. There is such a professor Ivanov, born in 1913. He was the only thing in St. Petersburg was engaged in children with autism. And he just oversee our first school. And so, when we came to his interview, he saw Zhenya and said: “Oh, this is our child! This is a pure autistic. " Then I heard this diagnosis for the first time. In 2000 it was.

Eugene reads and writes. And before the school, we were removed with disability. We came to renew her, and there was such an interesting inspector ... "Zhenya, tell me, how much will be 5 + 7?" Zhenya considers it in his mind and answers, for a child with autism it is, in general, normal. "How much will it be 10 + 5?" He answers again. “And read it! Do you know the letters? " Well, Zhenya reads in syllables. “Mommy, we are making you a diagnosis! He still does not go to first grade, but already reads and writes. ” Disability was removed to us, but not to get into the school without it, but where is the wife without her? We found another inspector, and the disability was returned to us again.

How can it be in a closed space? Here he went out - the sky above his head, more open.

We lived in the city, but somewhere in front of the school we moved out of town. At that moment, we already realized that Zhenya is like that. And in the city what? I can take a walk with Zhenya, but how much time can I devote to this? Two hours a day? I still have my own business! And so that Zhenya could walk alone, we decided that we needed to cross the city. The main thing is that he can go out here at any time: we have a fence, and I do not worry. If he wants for a fence, we go out with him. He used to love to go to the piece of iron in childhood. He and dad watched the trains walk - he really liked it. Now we are constantly walking in the park, we ride bicycles ... In the city, this is all unrealistic. It is growing. How can it be in a closed space? Here he came out - the sky above his head, more open.

For the help of the state

We graduated from school and buried in the wall, that there is absolutely nowhere to give the child. And what is there, they take children easier. For example, there are ten seats in some district center, and in the whole area not ten disabled people, right?

In childhood, we were given trips to the camp, once from the state we went south even, however, the conditions there were bad. They went to Roshchino to the camp, but it was generally terrible there. There is a house of apartment type, and the rest of the camp of healthy children. We are going to go to the cinema, and they say to us: “Do not go, there are healthy children, and don’t go there either - there are also healthy children ...” We ask: “Where are we and children?” "Walk through the forest!" Of course, I didn’t go there anymore. They went to the Green Light. It's easier there. There are all people with disabilities with different diagnoses. And after 18 years there was nothing.

At some point, Zhenya was taken to the district neuropsychiatric dispenser. But we went there for only two months. I took him from there. He himself did not tell, but I saw that after this dispensary he behaved inadequately. Sharp movements, sharp cries, “do not go”, “do not go” ... They watched the TV there, but he did not want to sit in front of the TV. He can sit at home in front of the TV. But you need to deal with it.

There are almost no specialists in working with special people in the country. There were no disabled people in the country, they were not prepared. And people who work in dispensaries, as a rule, do not know anything about autism. Well, if a decent person got caught and at least just treats children well. But there are those who use their power ...

In her room, Zhenya is studying the calendar photo: Alina Inozemtseva for TD Rest time in her room photo: Alina Inozemtseva for TD

I do not know how the state helps us. Dispensaries? I don’t know how in other areas, but in Pushkin there is nothing to do there. They need to be changed from the administration. The main thing is to scribble reports in time. How does a person feel there? How comfortable is he? It seems to me that they don’t even think about it.

About "Anton here is near"

We went through a lot. We searched a lot, experimented. But only after “Anton is nearby” I see that my wife is good. Unlike city centers, there is a completely different attitude. For me, the most important thing is the attitude to my child. As for any mother, in general.

We are the pioneers of the center. Zhenya there still helped to do due to his capabilities. And for three years he has been doing there.

If Zhenya wants to go to the center, then he is good. Last year they went on a hike. And he expressed a desire to still go. Through their interesting, smart people, they have an individual approach to each of our children. They are constantly taught, they go somewhere where it is developed. This is a completely unique situation in Russia.

To get into the "training apartment", we stood in line. And they hit only last year. There are only two apartments, but there are many who wish. In addition, the guys are settled in the apartment for a reason. They are selected by nature, compatibility so that the guys can get along with each other. There are two boys there and two girls lived. I really like everything.

Zhenya shares the house and life in the apartment. And he does not like when I ask him. But by his mood, I understand that he was good there.

Zhenya became independent. He himself gets. He comes. He has his own household duties. I used to say: “We must do it,” and now he sees what is needed, and he does. For example, he sees that the laundry is lying, and immediately there is a towel to iron. He also now sometimes prepares dinner for himself, what he was taught in the apartment. I ask him: "Help you?" He says: "I will cook it myself." This was not there before.

He really likes that he became independent. He does everything with pride and joy. He began to believe in himself. Somehow, for example, I forgot the phone. I ask: "How will you be without a phone now?" And Zhenya replies: “I'll go. Can".

Sometimes Zhenya comes, and in the wake of clothes I understand what he was doing. Recently, for example, there was clay on the sleeve. So, a pottery workshop! I see that he did something with his hands. And I am glad about this.

The project "Training apartment" enables adults with autism to learn how to live on their own. Living in the apartment, the guys fulfill house duties, go to the store, plan the next day, spend leisure, learn to communicate, agree and just live without parents. The tutors and volunteers of the Center “Anton here” help them not only in the apartment, but also visit them on the weekend of the house, helping to consolidate the skills.

Dance classes. Warm -up photo: Alina Inozemtseva for TD "Rascobas" - this is the name of the photo: Alina Inozemtseva for TD

Says Nastya Veretennikova, volunteer of the Center “Anton here is nearby”, accompanying Zhenya:

“Zhenya and I met in a camp in Priozersk last summer. When I found out in September that Zhenya would go to the apartment, I was not sure how it would work. In the camp, he needed support in everything, I even went to brush my teeth with him. Fortunately, I was mistaken. Zhenya made a real breakthrough in these months. He really has changed a lot and became much more independent. Now he reacts much faster to questions, he initiates communication on his own, he is one of the best in the apartment in terms of household and household skills, he performs all the work very well and quickly, he became interested in other guys, he began to speak more. I am very pleased, and I am very happy for Zhenya. "

About wife and autism

For me, the main task is not that he was taught something, although this is good. The main thing is that Zhenya is busy, that he does not go from corner to corner at home, that he feels necessary. In four walls and a healthy person will fool.

Zhenya loves a computer. People with autism, each finds something of his own. Someone remembers something, someone collects something. Zhenya hit the computer.

When necessary, when we are not there, Zhenya can be much more independent. He concentrates something and for himself a lot of things

Zhenya is a loner. He is still more comfortable one on one with him. This is a character trait. Even if he makes contact with us, he talks a little, but still then leaves and rests. Communication is hard to give him.

Zhenya cannot be forced to do something that he does not want. He does not understand why he would do this if he does not want to.

Zhenya does not have the concept of money. The fact that a certain amount is needed for a month, Zhenya does not understand. We go to the store regularly, but the money for him is still more abstraction.

When necessary, when we are not there, Zhenya can be much more independent. He concentrates something and he does a lot of things for himself. This is probably the instinct of self -preservation.

Zhenya - He is a comedian with us, fun with him! He even jokes in his state!

Zhenya's mother continues:

About family and about yourself

We have a second daughter. Faith. She will be 10 years old this year. But they do not particularly communicate. Eugene is sometimes suitable, they will play a little, but he quickly gets tired, five minutes and that's it. And leaves for his room to rest. For her, Zhenya is also an educational process. She cares for Zhenya a little. And probably a little more understands than other children.

When I leave, I leave them and say: “Zhen, you are the main one! Watch your sister! " And Vera I say: “Vera, you are the main thing! Watch your brother! " And they care about each other. And everyone calls me on the phone and says: “Mom, Zhenya did this and that”, “Mom, Vera, then ...” Both have a job. And both are proud of themselves.

Zhenya in her room photo: Alina Inozemtseva for TD

When I get tired, I need to leave for some time, to do my hobby. I am engaged in the technique of mountain mountaineering.

Before the "training apartment" Zhenya has never lived without us for so long. All this time I am resting. I rested so much that even last weekend cleaning in the garage took up. Zhenya, although independent, is still not easy with him. Mentally hard, just hard. I believe that for parents a “training apartment” is also absolutely necessary, it is an opportunity to return to themselves, to lose stress.

About the future

It is terrible that the apartment, the camp, the campaign ends ... For example, Zhenya was already starting to speak in the camp, and came home and stopped again. He does not particularly talk to us. That is why in a training apartment you can and should live again. Of course, at home you can also fix some skills, but at home it is much more complicated, and something will be lost anyway.

Scary. For the future of Zhenya is very scary. I'm even afraid to think what will happen to him later. I can’t hang Zhenya to my daughter - she should have her own life. I would do everything so that Zhenya has the same apartment with tutors. Not training, but to live.

Today, according to the “Center for the Control and Prevention of US diseases”, every 68th child in the world is born with an autistic spectrum disorder. In Russia, such statistics are not conducted. The Center “Anton here nearby” supports more than 120 families of children and adults with autism and other developmental features. The project "Training apartment" was launched in the fall of 2014. During this time, 17 people managed to participate in the program. For the project to continue its work, he really needs your help. Please issue a regular donation for any, even the smallest amount. This will help.