"She was in that car"

The story of the mother of a 18-year-old girl, one of the wounded in the explosion in St. Petersburg

"Terezka rode in the carriage where there was an explosion between hay and technology. The Lord retained it, behind small deductions-the eardrum in the right ear burst, a piece of muscles on the thigh (the size of a nickle) burst out. In return, a lot of micro-slides, which could not be removed, are very tiny, the wounds of the iPhone. In the bowels of the metro and stayed. "

This is an entry in the blog of the St. Petersburg writer and blogger Lara Gall dated on the evening of April 3. The youngest of her three daughters, 18-year-old Teresa is now in the hospital-she had an operation, and she will soon return home. Lara Gall says that before the husband’s call, she did not know anything about the explosion in the subway car in the “Sennaya Square” - “Technological Institute”:

- the husband called and said: "Do not scare, now one woman will bring Terezka, she was in the subway during the explosion." There was a call at the door, an unfamiliar woman entered, brought my baby, Terezka. The leg in the blood, a scarf in the blood, the head in the blood. The child sobs and says that she did not remember my phone number by heart, and her iPhone was thrown back and she did not look for him. She crawled out through the window, and this woman saw her and took her upstairs. On the escalator, they climbed the subway and left. They were one of the first to leave the station - before the cordon appeared there.

- How far was it?

- From the metro "Technological Institute" to our house 10 minutes on foot.

- That is, you learned about the explosion only with the message that your daughter suffered?

- Yes, I did not know the news at all. This event immediately became personal.

- What happened next? Did you call an ambulance?

-I first rushed to treat the wounds,-I turned on some internal physician-to rinse with an antiseptic, to sprinkle. When I did all this, I realized that I needed to call an ambulance: her head was sick and the wound on her leg was very large. Although she yelled: I do not want to go to the hospital, the ambulance would take me to the hospital - it was obvious that the matter was bad, it was impossible to do with home care, and we called an ambulance. There were a lot of challenges, because already information about the explosion has gone. They rode for quite some time, but I did not feel this time, did not think about whether they were going for a long time or not. We just kept her with her, she cried, remembered, said something, and I found wounds from micro-slopes all over my body, smeared them, smeared them. Then the ambulance arrived, the crew consisted of young girls, but they were so reasonable, quietly, calmly convinced me that still needed to go to the hospital, not only in a big and terrible wound on the leg, but that there may be internal hematomas, you need to do as soon as possible CT. I said: so many wounded, probably, it will not be up to us, we still don’t have a bad thing, but they mildly and softly carried us to the hospital.

-In addition to a large wound on her leg and many small ones, she still had something?

- She torn the eardrum, but it turned out during the examination. The eardrum in the right ear and the auditory bones inside are destroyed. They will do the operation, restore this all (the interview was recorded before the operation. - RS) .

“Did your daughter describe what was happening to you?” She, obviously, was in the car, where the explosion itself occurred?

- Yes, she was in the carriage where the explosion occurred, and she was surprisingly little damaged at the same time. This is some kind of miracle. She said that the train had already drove away from the "hay" (she was traveling from the Nevsky Prospekt metro), and suddenly there was an explosion and the light went out. She describes it as a cotton, after which her head fell ill, she was thrown to the door. At this time, a man who stood next to her fell, and people screamed: "Brains, brains." Obviously, his head cracked or torn. This was her worst impression. After that, - she said, - she crawled to the floor, sat down and froze. After that, the train touched, and she felt the relief that the driver still dragged the train further to the station, did not leave on the stage in the tunnel.

As soon as the train came to the station, there was already light there, and she got out of the knocked out window and rushed away, there this woman was picked up by her, who was traveling in the same car, she rushed to the aid of those who suffered, saw Terezka and led her up. Terezka said: "I want to go home to my mother, only home to mom." This woman is amazing how she heeded, - the phone number that she remembered, - the phone of her dad, asked Terezka, - she called him, said, he called, warned me. That is, this woman did everything remarkably, she felt everything, felt it, - she didn’t say that no, you need an ambulance, - she brought home, although it was difficult to lead a child home with such a wound. I did not ask her name, I was in such a stupor as an idiot, nodded, waved my hand, did not even ask what the name of the man was. If she somehow can see this in some way, please tell her incredible gratitude. (Here the interview is interrupted for a while by the tears of Lara Gall. - RS) .

From the blog :

"The hospital psychologist now built us in the corridor and did not approve that there are so many of us - relatives who came to Terezka, and they say it is all that it is all. It is necessary, they must be stroked, to hold onto the hand and say that it was necessary to think in the future, and not to remember what happened, then it went right. And we laugh at and remembers us from different ranges yesterday yesterday. было... Ну нас правда много и все друг друга любят, и мы поневоле стягиваемся в кольцо, когда что-то такое случается. Ну не такое-такое как в этот раз со взрывом в метро, а менее экстремальные неполадки. И Терезке спокойнее, когда все любимые рожицы вокруг и свидетельствуют относительную стабильность мира, который очень сильно рвануло у нее вчера... Рассказала ей, как Малка собрала ей денег на новый айфон от All-all, I am in amazement.

-You visited Teresa in the hospital, do you have the feeling that what happened has already gone a little to the past?

- It is very difficult to leave behind when all these evidence is on the body. And then, investigators, psychologists come all the time, and she needs to pronounce this situation endlessly. This, of course, is good, it is washed out by the toxin of what happened when you say everything, but it is already tired. She wants us to be with her there, and we all pulled us to her hospital. She looks at us, and somehow in the usual dialogs of our replicas, jokes, she lives and holds. We try to squeeze away what happened yesterday. But it still happened only yesterday ...

“But she laughs with you, that is, not in shock?”

- No, this is not a tantrum. It’s just that our usual way to interact, comprehend what is happening, we are ironic a little over everything, and we get fun. Now we are laughing at how the shock is funny, how it goes to her, what is smeared there, and here it is sewn up ( laughs ). We are trying to somehow humanize the tragedy, because when this happens, he throws into such blackness, blackness and loneliness, where no one can reach-a borderline state, horror-and we try to draw back, and she is gratefully drawn. But still, she will have to worry all at some level, where we can’t reach.

- Investigators talk to her about what happened, ask to recall the people with whom she was traveling?

- Yes. Everyone is interested in this fallen man, they suspect that it was an explosive device on him, because he was the first to suffer from the explosion. Everyone is very interested in his appearance, and she, like any teenager, rode, resting on her iPhone, and cannot remember his appearance, nothing.

-You discussed with your daughter or thought to yourself about the explosion, what is usually always somewhere in the distance, with someone else, and then suddenly it turns out right next to it?

-Yes, I thought that all these attacks were committed somewhere: Israel, Moscow is the closest point. And when there were terrorist attacks in St. Petersburg, the psyche obscures: the routine of life usually very elasticly protects you from the thought that this can happen to you. Because if you think all the time that this will happen to you when to live then. The fact that this happened to us now is rather not subject to comprehension, but to accommodation, this is rather a sensual experience than a reflective one. I myself had an accident when I was pregnant with my second daughter - there was a frontal collision of a bus with KamAZ, there were more dead than in this attack. I remember that all this has been experienced for years, for years, this fear, this anxiety. I do not know how she will worry and live. But she will survive. We’ll live somehow.

- Are you a native Petersburger?

- No, we moved to Petersburg in 2004 from Krasnodar.

“But do you have a feeling that this city is dear to you?”

“We moved here because we had this feeling.” There were also reasons, a hot climate is not shown to us in health. We moved here, here my children grew up, got married. And Terezka has already grown up, count.

-Do you have the feeling that because of what happened, the city has somehow changed? Is there a feeling of some kind of community?

-I watched people reacted to trouble-taxi drivers and just drivers signaled that they were going there, they would take someone. Yesterday, my middle daughter got to the hospital from the Primorskaya metro, from one end of the city to the other, the metro did not work. She walked along the road, caught the passage, one person broke a great price, she cried, and the next guy picked her up and said: "I will take you." Directly drove to the hospital when he found out what was the matter - not in the direction in which he needed, by traffic jams. Yesterday, when I was returning from the hospital, half a weekly, flowers, candles were already standing near the subway. There was a group of students (a student area, "technology"). They gave part of themselves, their spirit, warmth - to where the trouble was. I looked at them and thought: "Thank you. It's so necessary to give part of myself." These people are my people. (Here the interview is again interrupted by tears. - RS) .

- The versions are important for you, who did this, do you follow this?

- It seems about this, but only very remotely, not the first echelon of thoughts. I tried to somehow understand in the political science of the situation who needed it, these terrorist attacks. This is some kind of chain, choosing some of the versions is still to choose an intermediate one, but this is not my business at all. There is no one as in the cinema: "I want the guilty to be punished," all this bad drama and pathos, I do not have that. Maybe someone needs it so that the perpetrators are punished, I don’t.

- About a year and a half ago there was a plane crash over Sinai, there were many people from St. Petersburg in the plane. It seems that in society she was forgotten quite quickly. People are used to it, it seems, to such terrible things? I think about what has happened now, will it be forgotten quickly again?

- Of course, this will quickly leave. And it should leave. It is absolutely not necessary to honor evil in order to remember him constantly and persistently. This is only in the hands of evil to be remembered, wasted and combed by these wounds. It wants it to declare itself in this way, but thank God, the human psyche is not such as to remember it. Life adds all this.