Loving others

The series "Big Little Lies" explores all shades of love and fear

Sometimes I ask myself: "Are you doing it now (you say, think) —The love or out of fear?"

If all sorts of derivatives like inspiration, courage, gratitude or curiosity are to be in love with love, and to take fear of shame, guilt or anger, then behind our actions and words, by and large, is one of these two forces. I would even say that one thing is powerful power, and the other is powerful powerlessness .

Passion time

But everything begins to get confused, and it is so difficult to understand himself when passion owns you. When you are in fire.

Passion is a fever of love. And the burden of human passions. And the passions of the Lord. And greed. And inspired work is tired. "From my youth, my passions are fighting me." In Russian, “passion” means excitement, and the origin leads from a single -root “suffering”. How to figure out what is behind her when you are dancing on a red -hot slab?
From the inside of this state, this tornado is almost impossible. We need some more coordinates. For example, this is a lie or true.

One of the heroines, Madelens, in the family circle photo: Capital Pictures/East News

Lord, how difficult it is to unravel this! For example, violence is recognized in the civilized world as unambiguous evil. But what if one runs into violence from unbearable states, and the one who accepts violence is used to this unbearable so that it falls into the usual self -confirmation?

To understand our passions, to separate fear from love and lies from the truth, we need others who love others

In order to somehow understand our passions and separate the fear of love and lies from the truth, we need others who love. Those who are not trying to appropriate me, but are ready to be near, accept and believe in all the best in me, so that I, in my own trembling voice, a crooked grin and annoyance, suddenly feels that here I seem to have anxiety and untruth.

They are furious with fat

In the film "Big Little Lies", all shades of fear and love are explored. The series was shot according to the book - and this is the case when brilliant actors create a new dimension to the plot. Our mirror neurons are mercilessly involved in the whirlpool of events - a bruise on a delicate forearm Nicole Kidman has a special force of influence. California’s sea landscapes with its alienated, ice sea, luxurious houses on the shore and deserted beaches creates the necessary bifurcation of consciousness, as with gypsy hypnosis. “If you have, in the Moscow City Council”-among rich beauties, with the same exemplary-state, perfect husbands-so much misfortune and pain are hidden ...

Among the rich beauties, with the same exemplary and state husbands, a lot of misfortune and pain is hidden

From the first series, when elegant mothers bring children to first grade, a story is tied about a secret, lies and violence: one of the children grabbed a girl by the neck and there were bruises, she points to a beginner, respectable parents in a panic. At the same time, we immediately know that the story that unfolded in the town, with the climax at the charity ball, will end with the murder of unknown to anyone.

The detective line, of course, keeps the whole road in tension - but the true meaning of history is not at all in response to the question of what happened and who is to blame.
The film will have about classic homemade violence, with all its hopeless-resonating details, when stress is spilled in the air, when it is given to friends for passionate love games when they hide from children and, as usual, "take bronchial asthma for an orgasm."

The most passionate and tragic couple in the series (Alexander Skarsgard, Nicole Kidman) photo: Capital Pictures/East News

This is not the only talented story in the world about the narcissistic psychopath, obsessed with fear of losing the beautiful wife, which instead gradually destroys her. Another line - where his wife can not survive the grudge against her former, who was a crappy father and husband, until he was tamed by an ugly, unbearable and disgustingly good new wife - also quite understandable and familiar. There are several more very vital stories. This is all strongly removed, incredibly subtly played and absolutely believable.

Read also Olga Prokhorova: “Dad”, mother and I, in search of love and strength, the series Paolo Sorrentino “Young Dad” - about the temptation, mystical experience, the miracle and hardships of “helping” professions

But I shocked me in this film.
Not how tenacious resentment, how inventive lies are inventive, and how fear is trying to destroy the mind and cordiality in us.

I was struck by how all stubbornly break through, they celebrate victory and habitually act and really act. And most of all this is seen on the relationship of parents to children.

A healing tribe

Yes, the current generation of parents is often accused of making a cult of children. That the children lost their place in the hierarchy, that this threatens infantility, bloated by self -esteem and mania of greatness. And it is not known what this spoiled generation is now biased, where everyone is convinced that he is special.

The way my parents with children communicate in this cinema communicate, fascinated me. Here the boy is accused of secretly tormenting a classmate. His mother, completely young, knows that the boy’s father is a rapist with an unknown history. She herself survived a huge injury about this. With what stamina she holds the side of her son (simultaneously figuring out with a psychologist, is there any fears that the boy is really aggressive). How she trusts him, despite fears. How impeccably neat and careful teachers are at school - and how all together act from the main principle - not to harm. I caught myself on the fact that I myself began to suspect the boy in some flaws, all my own demons and fears woke up-and she believed in her boy and did not impose on her anxiety.

Her heroine believes in her son, even when no one believes him (Shailene Woodley) Photo: Capital Pictures/East News

Or the mother of a 17-year-old daughter learns that she wants to auction her virginity-from “ideological” stupid reasons, from the desire to attract attention. This seriously amazes and outrages the mother - but instead of in accordance with her inherent violent and scandalous temperament to put on her daughter, she suddenly seizes herself and instead of an attack opens her own vulnerability, telling her secret mistakes. Something strange and illogical, but complete truth and intimacy, suddenly happens before your eyes.

Finally, when it becomes clear that the other boy was mocking the girl, his mother is rushing to him not in an effort to immediately make reprisal (although she is full of shame and guilt, because his violence is a consequence of the unhealthy atmosphere in the family) - no, she hugs him and asks her to tell her, and says that she wants to help him.

Scene from the series "Big Little Lies" (2017) Photo: Capital Pictures/East News

These not very happy people lie to each other, deceive themselves, hide from the spouses-but something prevents them from transferring it further, to children, and they communicate with them as those who can truly trust. And it turns out to be healing.

This is all a completely new, absolutely unusual parental behavior - hacking centuries -old ice of traditions, when a woman under the crown heard that she “may be afraid of her husband”, and generations of children knew the painful fear of punishment.

This is a new, absolutely unusual parental behavior - hacking centuries -old ice of traditions

How will this affect our and, most importantly, their future? Around me, in my environment, I see the same sprouts of new relationships. Maybe this is not a widespread process, but it is clearly moving in this direction. It seems to me that my generation-and the generation of my eldest son, who is already growing his children-knows how to communicate with children in a completely new way. Together to celebrate life, meet with its truth and untruth. Talk, not to indicate. Explain and share, not subordinate. Maybe also because we do not plan to “go to rest” and are going to live long in the game, curiosity and friendship, and young inhabitants of the Earth for this the best company. And because we need others loving.