Death on the desktop

Death is inevitable - this is a fact. "Batenka" is intriguing everything inevitable . And therefore, your beloved samizdat talked with a killer, a pathologist, a forensic expert, a burial and a ritual agent about death: why are they laughing in children's morgues, why kill is also a job, and what is death as a field of professional implementation.

Novel,
Cemetery worker

In the nineties, I worked as a forester. Once our brigade was taken to the site far from the city and agreed with the village head that we would spend the night in abandoned houses. In the attic of the house where I settled, I found an old icon and took it. There was very little money then, it was necessary to feed the family, so I decided to sell this icon. I went to the antique shop, I did it, I went out - and I meet an old friend. He told him his situation, and he took me and offered the work. Like, the employee went on vacation, there is no one to replace. I agreed right there. And only then he asked what kind of work. It turned out to be very simple: it was necessary to carry corpses on the hearse. The next day I went to work and got involved.

I tried a lot in the ritual sphere. He stuck the coffins, washed the corpses in the morgue, helped pathologists to wear bodies, dug graves. I liked it, it was interesting.

Although, of course, I am a little sly. It was very difficult - especially when it was necessary to carry the corpses of the children. For seven years, I sat at the wheel of a katafalka, and I was unlucky, fortunately, only twice: once I was sticking a three-month boy who died in the hospital, and after some time-a one-year-old girl who drowned near my house. At that time I had a little son - imagine what impression it made on me?

When you dig a grave, you think about one thing: rather, finish, get money and go home to rest.

I treated adults to adults, although I understood how hard it is for my parents to bury an eighteen -year -old guy who had crashed in an accident.

If you work in a cemetery, you can easily sleep. You dig a grave, and vodka is brought to you in gratitude. Or after the funeral they call to drink. But I try not to linger at such events - and I have not been drinking at all since 1999.

When you dig a grave, you think about one thing: rather, finish, get money and go home to rest. You also hope that the soil is good. And when you wash the corpses, you think that this body was once warm and moved.

I believe in the afterlife. Once we took a man on a hearse. He lived in the village, one in a house with two cats. He died, lay for five days, began to stink. When we arrived, his corpse was severely eaten in cats. I needed to take a picture of the body for a report to the police, I click on the camera icon - it does not work, it does not start. Once again, yet - and still in any way! As soon as I left that house and sat in a hearse, the camera started. Probably, the ghost of a man did not want him to be captured by the cats to be eaten.

Thanks to my work, I began to appreciate my life more.

What is death?
Death is something new.

Are you afraid to die?
It’s not scary to die quickly - it’s scary to die from the disease, to burn or drown.

What will happen after death?
In the next world, many know me, I settled many in our cemetery "one -room apartments."

Alexander,
Children's pathologist

I had a teacher at the institute - a perfect gray mouse. Non-vice, forever in some gray clothing, unnecessary. But when she began to say and disassemble something, I sat with her mouth open and thought: how beautifully a person thinks. I wanted to think the same way - and I decided to become a pathologist.

Everyone gets the impression that pathologists have a relationship only with the dead. Our dead occupy a not very large place in their work. The main work is diagnostic. All diagnoses of tumors, infectious and hereditary diseases are associated with us, including. Many pathologists work in the center of Rogachev with cancer - me too.

I have no business with death. In any situation, I have not death, but a study: what happened to the patient in the process of death and what was done to help the patient.

The profession leaves its mark. It is developed ... well, not neglect, but detachment. In order for me to talk with people who have died a child, I need to be detached. You need to be out of their position. The most important thing is that the parents understand what they have done for the child everything they could. There are different people. Some are simply quietly worried, others are indifferent, others are aggressive-we must blame someone.

Death is simply the disappearance of a person as a person.

Pathologists are very funny people; Humor, however, is black. We have many professional jokes, I can tell one light one under the record. A drunk wakes up in the morgue, the orderly throws a sheet from him, and he asks: where am I? "In the morgue." The drunk replies: Guten Morgen.

I never went in for sports and do not want to. I even go very slowly - since childhood. I also smoke. And I started with cigarettes, not with modern cigarettes. They, in my opinion, were stuffed with a dumb or dried footcloths.

Some parents show videos and photos with their child to death. I don't like to look at it. And on the dead in the coffin too. This is unpleasant. Any death is a wild loss. If a relative is dying, this is very sad: when my parents died, I was very bad, despite the profession that accustoms death. When a loved one leaves, you lose communication. You are sorry that you and your mom or dad cannot communicate. That's all, nothing more happens.

Everyone says: how quickly life goes! Nothing fast. Everything flows slowly enough. When I remember how I came to work, I understand what a huge life I lived. I have been working fifty years, I am interested every day. Children's morgue differs from an adult only by a set of diseases, as for me. Therefore, it is more interesting to me.

What is death?
Death is simply the disappearance of a person as a person. Academician Davydovsky said that death is biologically advisable: there would be no development of the body without death.

Are you afraid to die?
How do I feel about death? No. I know for sure that we will all die.

What will happen after death?
At my age, it's time to think about my soul, but I do not think. It makes no sense. I do not believe in my soul and afterlife. All these are beautiful fairy tales.

Vladimir,
killer

(name changed)

A predisposition to crime led to the choice of such a profession: I can do any business, and murder contracts are one of the activities. I am a professional criminal in general, and not just a killer in particular. The unwillingness to work on shit and get a penny, to live like a loshara all his life, calling life a beggarly existence on a tiny salary. And all this in our false world, where two -thirds of the population are none other than slaves. And the rest of the third lives in a wide leg, and the law is not written by them-businessmen, deputies, officials, the stage, show business and other evil spirits. I am glad that I do not belong to the first or the second. I chose mine.

The death is violent - disgusting and ugly. There is nothing beautiful in it. But my first business did not cause any feelings. I am a reasonable, cold -blooded person. If I can explain to myself the cause of the murder, then there will be no remorse. If the goal is unacceptable to me, I will refuse-although there will always be someone else who is more unprincipled, but this is no longer my business and not my story. I judge all this by my standards. I do not care that there is no difference for commoners between criminals. It is, just the standard morality of the average hamster-citizen cannot be realized. I knew where I went, I decided everything in advance, and therefore for me it was just an ordinary business. I can’t just kill anyone, I am not a maniac. The life of people has value, many of my hand will not rise. And on many, on the contrary, it is quite easy.

If there is hell, then almost everything will burn in it, and not just me alone.

Before faced with a corpse, I made it. From a man made a corpse. He did the case, designed the corpse “according to the plot” and left the place, removing the traces and “inherited” false to be fake. And it seems to you as an ordinary citizen that I was supposed to shake from emotions, shock and affect?

Already in the evening after the case, I ate calmly, drank, watched TV, fell asleep without problems. I knew where and what I went to, I was preparing, I did the job in the best possible way and left the place competently. Everything is fine. This is how this happens. Compare me with other representatives of dangerous professions, with stuntmen, with special forces? They also live and do not drive calmly after the case. Honestly, no one I dream of at night. All these are bikes of schizophrenics from the category "everything secret will become obvious."

There is nothing romantic in my profession - continuous pragmatism and objective reality, in which everything is very rude, as simple and non -evident. I am often written by all sorts of young students with requests to take them as students. The nonsense is incredible. I do not need them, their pink dreams about Killer’s cool life are gleaned from “Bad Films”. They all dream that there are some secret schools of killers or at least secret textbooks. Idiots, what to say.

Everywhere the vice, the inconsistency of judgments, lies, duplicity, lawlessness, covered by law, and widespread injustice. For centuries, people like me have been a consequence of public ugliness. We are not freaks, oh no, we are the consequences of public ugliness. In such a world, people like me are appropriate.

What is death?
Death is the end of life.

Are you afraid to die?
I’m not afraid of death, this is waiting for us all.

What will happen after death?
If there is hell, then almost everything will burn in it, and not just me alone.

Alexey,
forensic expert

My profession is a doctor, and a specialty is a forensic expert. After school, I thought to do archeology, but the USSR broke up, and my parents did not let me go to St. Petersburg - too far. Closer was Omsk. My parents are doctors-well, somehow everything decided.

The fact that I will not treat living people, I understood the course for the third. There were two directions to choose from: pathologist and forensic medical examination. The first always seemed to me a very boring business, and the second interesting. The interest lies in the fact that injuries are extremely diverse and rarely repeated. If the pathologies that pathologists face are more or less similar, then it is not so. Here is a new story every time.

My specialization is not a terrible thing. Life is much worse. My main work is the study of dead bodies. It is more interesting to work every year. The volume of knowledge is accumulated, and you look at the object of study differently.

I was not disappointed in the specialty itself. But we often encounter salary delays, and indeed they are quite low.

I will definitely explore the three cavities of the body. The cranial cavity, chest cavity and abdominal cavity. Before all this is investigated, all damage on the body is described, all features. If the expert suspects some other injuries, then he can explore everything he wants-both back and limbs. Then the tests are taken and the conclusion is made on the cause of death.

The pain and hatred of the Russian taxi “Four in the morning, the first of January 2016. In the cabin, some kind of plan. I felt him well. ”I do not fully understand what death is.

I don’t remember how I came across corpses during my studies, but I remember the first corpse on the first working day. I even remember the name of this person: Robinson Robert Yuliusovich. He was glorious that he, drunk, in the clean field, the seeder moved. This is very scary, say? Well, it happens. The boss simply checked me, so he gave such a complex corpse. I managed well.

The work influenced my life. I try to observe safety precautions. I never cross the street to a red light or in a wrong place, because I know how it can end. Until bad habits: I do not smoke and do not drink. I am responsible for my life.

What is death?
I do not fully understand what death is. Not in a physical sense, but in some kind of ... spiritual, or something. Life is a way of the existence of protein bodies, and death is a way of their non -existence.

Are you afraid to die?
I'm afraid of death. It is different: good and very bad. It is also unknown what will happen after - it also strains.

Elena,
Ritual agent

So there were circumstances that I got a job at a ritual agency. The first two weeks were terrible: attributes, crying relatives. But then the awareness of great responsibility to relatives overpowered my fears. In communication with them, everything is important: the setting of speech, and the tone, and your emotions.

They often ask me how I work here. And I’ve been here for twenty years. The fact that I help people who have lost their loved one holds me. But when we have personal trouble, we are completely inadequately behaving like our customers.

We have psychologists in the staff who not only tell how to speak with the relatives of the dead, but also help us recover. We certainly empathize, but this can lead to a breakdown of the funeral.

It is necessary to educate people with a decent attitude to the deceased, because it is the basis of the state - the ancestors and memory of them.

When you start working here, you understand that we have no funeral culture. This is not developed. People are afraid. They also say: everything is expensive, more expensive to die than to arrange a wedding. Yes, not cheap. But I think it's worth it. This is the last ritual - you can marry and give birth to children as much as you like. A person must leave with dignity. It is necessary to educate people with a decent attitude to the deceased, because it is the basis of the state - the ancestors and memory of them.

When you come to people who have a misfortune, almost everyone says: I could do more for my relative. This makes me take my relatives more carefully so that in one day I do not say the same.

What is death?
Death is a logical end of life on Earth.

Are you afraid to die?
I'm not afraid of death yet.

What will happen after death?
I believe in God and in the afterlife.