"We must die together"

For Hassan, his wife is his personal property, and he can beat her simply because she liked Ivan Tsarevich from a children's cartoon

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Early in the morning, two women, mother and daughter came to the office of the non -profit organization “Women for Development” to an appointment with a psychologist. The daughter was called Amina. A quiet, clogged girl sat, pressing into a chair, without raising her head. She told her story inconsistently, then with tears of the Tarator, then shut up for a long time.

Women come to a liberal and miracles, the director and psychologist of the organization, almost every day. Who cannot come - calls the hot line. Young and elderly, married and divorced, everyone tells their stories in the hope of help. In 2015, the Henry Bellya Foundation published the results of a study on the life and position of women in the North Caucasus . According to them, almost a third of women in Chechnya from time to time receive slaps from her husband, 11% tolerate beatings. The sample is not entirely representative, because even in order to fill such a questionnaire, you need to gain courage. The same study states that only 4% of women undergoing violence are ready to seek help from public organizations.

Lybkan and miracles help just these four percent. They are used to listening to insults, humiliation and cruel beatings . But Amina's story shocked them so much that she was especially remembered.

Young Amina married sympathy. The future husband Hassan was pleasant, affectionate, polite. But on the first day after the wedding, he hit her in the face greatly for some joke. And then beatings became a daily ritual. Hassan limited Amina in everything: it was impossible to speak on the phone, watch TV (only cartoons were allowed), express an opinion on any reason, go out into the street. In the presence of Hassan, Amina was afraid to even breathe. If she was joking unsuccessfully, he beat her. If she did not run out of the bathroom at the first call - beat. If I took the phone in my hands , beat. When leaving for work (Hassan worked in a military structure), he locked Amina at home. When her products ended, her mother came and tied a basket with food to the rope, which Amina lowered from the window. When Hassan returned and found in the house what was not in him, he beat her. "How dare you break my ban, you had to sit and wait for me!"

Once, having come home from work, Hassan asked Amin how she spent the day. Amin said that she was watching a cartoon about Ivan Tsarevich, and she really liked that he fell in love with the princess in the guise of a frog. “Such a good Ivan Tsarevich, ” she said. “ He was able to love her despite the external ugliness.” Hassan was furious. “ Did you like another man? He shouted, referring to the cartoon Ivan Tsarevich. - Oh, you whore! " And he beat Amina so much that she lost consciousness. When she came to, she felt a taste of metal in her mouth. Hassan inserted a gun into her mouth. “How dared to lose consciousness? - the husband yelled. “ Now I will deprive you of consciousness forever!” They shouted so loudly that the neighbors heard. And they ran after helping to Uncle Hassan. He rushed, broke into the apartment, tried to take a pistol from Hassan. During the struggle, Hassan pressed the trigger and shot himself his leg. Amina through the window ran to her mother. Still not interfering in the conflict of her daughter and her husband, Amina's mother stood on her defense.

How dare you lose consciousness? - the husband yelled. - Now I will deprive you of consciousness forever!

“All this Amin told us when, after the escape from Hassan, her mother brought her to us, ” says Libkan. - She did not say the first time, gradually. It resembled a clogged animal and was practically insane. We worked with her for several months. Amina began to recover when Hassan stole her. ”

For several months, Amina practically did not leave the house - only to the psychologist where her mother drove her. Then she began to go out into the yard. Once she went into stall for bread. And it turned out that all this time Hassan guarded her. And only she stepped into the street, he drove up and pushed into the car. Where Hassan took Aminu, no one knew. Through his relatives, he warned: "Contact the police - I will kill her." Mother and father tried to negotiate with him through their relatives peacefully. The "negotiators" handed over to the mother that their daughter was fine, she wants to live with Hassan. Once he allowed his mother to talk with her daughter on the phone. Amina said that he lives voluntarily with Hassan, that he does not offend her. And after a while, a strongly beaten was running home at night. In the hospital, Amine was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury.

“Mother brought Amin again to us. We told her that it is impossible to return to her husband, that he would kill her. And he called her, persuaded to return. Threatened. He said that her mother would kill her and her. Amina darted. "

The psychologist regularly talked with Amina, and gradually she came to her senses. She was able to tell “women” about everything that her husband did with her. It was so terrible that a liber cannot speak. Amina also said that Hassan told her that they were forever connected, and often repeated that they had to die together.

“We were already tensing then, ” Libkan recalls. “ Together, it could mean that he is preparing her in suicide bombers.” And then Hassan again stole Amin.

Amina did not go outside, remembering the danger, she sat at home all the time. The husband struck her when she was in the kitchen. The door was open, he ran into the house, grabbed his hair. Amina’s grandmother was nearby, she clung to her feet. Hassan dragged Amina by the hair, his grandmother held his feet ... Hassan took Amin in an unknown direction. Amina's mother came running to the office of “women for development”, told about the abduction. Lybkkan said that she should discard all fears and go to the police. She has no other chances to save her daughter.

“Relatives ran to the police and wrote a statement about the abduction of a person. A week later, Amin was found - Hassan hid his wife in a remote area, in a private house. The police surrounded the house and grabbed both. Amina was dressed in a black hijab and behaved inadequately. During interrogation, she defended Hassan, refused to write a statement to him. She said that he did not steal her, that she lived with him voluntarily. The psychologist was able to explain to the police that Amina has Stockholm syndrome. She was released home. "

Amin’s houses lay motionless all day, turning away to the wall. The psychologist came to her, sat down near the bed and talked. Gradually, Amina began to respond, and the psychologist managed to convince her to give evidence against Hassan. In court, the psychologist was next to Amina. Hassan was given for six years.

Illustration: Olga Prokhorova for TD

After this story, Amin was treated for a long time. She had several traumatic brain injuries, ruptures of the genitals, traces of stab wounds on the body. All the time that she was in the hospitals, she was accompanied by employees of the organization. In the hospital, Amina met a young man who visited his sister. He really liked her, he looked beautifully. The wedding was a complete surprise to everyone.

The new husband took up Amina’s treatment, drove her to doctors to Moscow. He was attentive and caring, literally worn in his arms. The girl came to her senses, began to smile. In the last meeting with Libkan, Amina said: "I did not know that a man could be so gentle and kind."

This story would not have a happy ending, if it were not for the system work of the organization “Women for Development”, which has been assisting for many years to victims of domestic violence in the North Caucasus. Unfortunately, what happened to Amina is happening with others. More than five hundred women and girls have been helped over the past three years . The organization "Women for Development" conducts public work to preserve families and the formation of a new divorce culture in the Caucasus. Employees of the organization have ensured that their project to increase the culture of the divorce be approved in the government of the Chechen Republic. Thanks to the work of “women” in Chechnya, they adopted a law prohibiting early marriages and theft of brides.

The project needs money to pay for the work of the Madina hotline, who provide emergency psychological assistance to women in acute crisis situations. It is very difficult to collect for the project. People do not want to sacrifice - either the specifics of the region causes distrust, or the belief prevents that "you can’t change anything anyway." But the liberal and the marlets who saved Amina and many others know, you can change. Let not immediately, albeit slowly. And they work contrary to everything.

Please support the project, subscribe to a monthly donation. Your one hundred rubles will save those who, except for the office of “women for development”, have nowhere else to go.

This material uses references and references to the fund to them. Henry Bell, who is recognized in Russia as an unwanted organization.