Dads on maternity leave

Norwegian fathers are required to take a vacation to care for a child for at least ten weeks, but some of this is not enough

Emigration to Norway is no different from any other. Here, too, everything is very dependent on ... yes on everything. Your education, language knowledge, family and the capacity in which you arrived. And, as elsewhere, social decrease during emigration is almost inevitable. In Norway itself, this is a popular topic: in his country a person was an engineer, and here he washes the floors in the hotel. But the truth is that the engineer will sooner or later confirm the diploma, having learned the tongue, find the work and slowly but correctly climb back to the position with which the emigration dropped him. But the humanities ... As the heroine of the film “Moscow does not believe” the heroine of the film said: “They have their women.”

In a word, yes, Norwegian emigration is no different from others. You will not give any advice except invent yourself again. Therefore, I will talk about much more specific experience, which Norway certainly differs from almost everyone. This experience is parenthood. A field in which cultural models, stereotypes and habits of an emigrant are subjected to the most powerful destruction. I do not advise resisting. Parenthood is its culture and norms, the adherence to which is expected by society or is prescribed by the state - in Norway, terrible power! But good.

Dads

Tourists in Norway almost always take pictures of the same thing. Mountains, fjords. And dad with strollers. Norwegian fathers are a directly topic. They catch the eye on the streets. With strollers equipped for a trip around the world for 180 days. Or with a backpack from which the head is protruded in a woolen cap. Or fathers-veloriksh, and in a cart-a young passenger. Fathers with beards and in tattoos, corresponding to stereotypical ideas about the homeland of the Vikings, in which babies only emphasize brutality and serve as the final evidence of male power. Hole fathers dressed with a needle. As soon as they succeed, because where are the children - there is belching, saliva, snot and poop? Fathers who have scored on everything and dissolved in Papparolle (the roles of the pope) - a perfect analogue of the stereotypical “mother on maternity leave”: for a long time, in specific jackets and waterproof boots, everything is practical, everything is in the case. I looked and said to my husband: “If you once bring such boots home, I will understand that romance has forever left our marriage.”

Photo: from personal archive

Decree for Norwegian fathers is required. At first, this is two weeks immediately after the birth: the law admitted that these first two weeks, when life turned over, the father should feel himself. Fully paid leave for the child care for both parents is a year from which the father should use at least eight more mandatory weeks. Parents can divide the remaining time as they want, but Norwegian statistics claim that more and more men go on maternity leave and remain there longer. Why? But because your child will never be a baby again - and many do not want to miss this experience. Family and paternity deepen the experience of life - this symbol of the faith of modern Norway. In order not to miss this very life, the working day ends at four in the afternoon, which does not prevent the Norwegians from staying among the most effective workers according to European statistics.

Your child will never be a baby again - and many do not want to miss this experience

In general, family disasters of Norwegian fathers are experiencing strongly. The divorce is not uncommon, but the stains are usually civilized, with the separation of guardianship - children live either with their mother or dad. But I remember how everyone else looked at the recently diluted friend: carefully and with horror, as a person who was diagnosed with cancer. A divorce in the eyes of many is a serious life failure.

Mom

When my stomach grew out of the first set of clothes, and pregnancy became noticeable to others, I suddenly felt like a part of a great many Norwegian women. Strangers without any request helped to tie laces and shoe, cross the slippery hill, and convey bags. And - Oh, miracle! - They said. Usually Norwegians avoid each other. They are not a master of Small Talk and do not at all possess the art of communication in the intermediate zone, which the Spaniards love so much. For the Norwegians, everyone is divided into strangers and friends. Only the old people who were sore loneliness, and the smallest children who are just amusing that they are answered by large uncles and aunts are not afraid of conversations on the street. And suddenly you are an exception. Everyone seems to have no other things, as soon as you look closely, so that your movement in life goes easily and smoothly. This is strange, nice, but it ends as soon as the child begins to walk. You go to another interest club - parental. Club of Committees, circles, parental boards. Children cement social ties that, otherwise, adults could not establish themselves.

Sober calculation

Norway traditionally occupies one of the upper positions in all kinds of ratings describing motherhood and childhood. What is worth it?

Photo: from personal archive

Firstly, a social contract between citizens and the state. You are a new taxpayer to him, and it is for you ... Here the most exciting begins. Cracking Norwegian taxes immediately cease to seem predatory as soon as you yourself become the recipient of the benefits of the system. My work implied some hypothetical risk for pregnancy, so from the fourth month I went into a paid sick leave, which was flowing into a paid eight -month maternity leave. And all this - at the expense of the state, not the employer. I have not worked for more than a year, continuing to receive a full salary. Pregnancy, any analyzes and the birth itself - free. Up to 18 years old, for a child, even a toothache will turn out to be free - to drill, fill and even put braces. As you want, but this is a good deal.

Children cement social ties that, otherwise adults could not establish themselves

Secondly, an agreement with the company. Nowhere in the world, unless the scandinavians have such universal approval by society, for example, breastfeeding. The campaigns are constantly held on the support of the nursing, and extensive scandals in social networks with the next mother, who were driven from the museum, store, restaurant (those who are against are equally). Meanwhile, in Norway, breastfeeding lovers can do it anywhere. There are cafes who realized that mothers on maternity leave will provide them with occupancy in the “dead” daytime, and placed the tables so that you can put strollers and sit down to feed the child. The question "hide behind or not" is left at the discretion of the woman. Alien glances will slide by: she is invisible in these minutes.

And this is a sober calculation. A healthy baby is a cheap baby. Breastfeeding saves billions of crowns to the Norwegian state and unloads the healthcare system. And the employee who has, who has served on maternity leave will later make up for his own. And in this I see something non-modern feminist-although it was the feminists in the 1970-80s who achieved the unprecedented for other countries of Norway coverage, and a very old, peasant. Norway was a country of fishermen and peasants for a very long time. Life remained poor and harsh almost to the very "oil era." Does the state encourage mothers? Well, what are you! It simply seeks to bring as many women to work as possible, and then, having received a new taxpayer from a woman, rather return her to duty. After all, a reasonable peasant will not drive a pregnant mare, no, he will wait for the offspring and will protect the horse, then to return it to the household healthy. You understand this - and respect.

Photo: from personal archive

This feeling reached this feeling on the christening, where, by the way, a woman was a priest - this is modern Norway. And here is the old one who shines through the modern all the time: at some point in the ceremony, the priest is exclaiming: such and such! - And dad should raise the child higher and show on all directions. So I want to write - neighbors in the village, but we are just talking about an ordinary city microdistrict.

Do not just think that everything is perfect and rosy. Norwegian employers also do not like young mothers and pregnant employees, as elsewhere in the world. And here the main thing is not to take it at your own expense. Moreover, at the expense of the fact that you are an emigrant. They do not like visitors anywhere, but this is not the case. My Norwegian acquaintance, together with a lawyer, fought against a former employer. And, oddly enough, it was her example that reassured me: I stopped thinking about myself as a foreigner. The banal truth that honest and dishonest, decent and dishonorable people have no nationalities is completely justified here. By the way, I was also thrown away from work. First, they congratulated on the upcoming addition. And then they fired.

Children Norway Emigration