Translated material
Stop dying
At the age of 19, Alena found out that even a girl from a prosperous family can have HIV. But it was not the end of life, but the beginning of another
We help Eva (E.V.A) help“Don't go to the corridor! A speakerphone gives birth here! " - screamed the nanny of the hospital for other patients. The doctor flatly refused to take birth. The nurse threw a wet rag at the door of the ward so that the “this” was washing the floors behind itself. Having survived a nervous breakdown, Alena decided that she would not allow anyone to offend anyone else. For ten years it has been helping those who are not loved: people living with HIV, tuberculosis, viral hepatitis, sex workers, convicts, and drug consumers. Those whose rights are often violated.
Alena, Varya and Savely Photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TDAlena Tarasova is an equal consultant. She knows for sure that HIV can have a girl from a prosperous family.
Stop dying
2005, a small provincial city. Alena almost 19. She really wanted to become a pediatrician, but the family did not pull her studies in another city. Alena entered a medical college. She is in love. Recently got married. And it seems pregnant. “You have the sixth week and HIV,” the doctor cried. - We need to do an abortion. The child will still be born sick. Yes, and you will not stretch for more than ten years. " Unpleasant surprises continued at home. It turned out that the husband is a drug consumer and has known about his HIV status for seven years. But from his beloved wife, such a trifle decided to hide. There was no Internet in the city, and from available information about HIV - only frightening brochures in the clinic. The doctors were overtaken. Alena began to prepare for a close ending. I went to my girlfriends to hand out my favorite things - to die anyway. But an hour after her visit, a classmate called college. She said that there are some special tablets for pregnant women with HIV. In general, everything is not as scary as doctors scare. Stop dying.
Alena photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD“Apparently, she studied better than me,” Alena laughs. And a year later, a friend who reassured Alena came and said: “I am also Kirdyk! If you hadn’t told yourself then, I would have gotten up. ” Then Alena for the first time seriously thought how important it is not to be afraid to talk about HIV.
She did not hide her status from the first day from anyone except the family. Parents were scared to admit. Mom found out when Alena gathered for the second time to get married and wanted to move to another city. From the first husband who infected her, Alena ran away with her little son in her arms. But the final gap took a few more years. HIV-dissidentiality of the ex-husband ended in 2015-funeral. After his death (and the death of his civil wife), Alena wanted to take the two children remaining orphans. But neither the blood relationship of the kids with her son, nor other arguments helped. It remained only to act through the courts, but by that time the children were already given to the foster family. In Russia, there is still a ban on the adoption and custody of children by people with HIV status. Perhaps, under the pressure of social activists, the ban will be removed next year.
Having moved to her second husband, Alena went into public work with her head, met local activists. The theme of HIV did not work before, and the whole clearing of a complex region went to her. Alena lived with open status - for small cities, such people are rare. In the city where she lived, meetings and consultations took place in strict secrecy mode - in a park more like a forest. Many then, accidentally meeting with Alena on the street, did not greet and hid their acquaintance. Her swift marriage also broke up - the second husband wanted a quiet calm life, Bort, and so that no one knew anything about them. When a year later Alena was called to a round table to the northern city, she went ... and stayed there for eight years. She got married, gave birth to a daughter. She made her career in local trade, but still consulted, defended, and helped all her free time. It was difficult to combine almost round -the -clock help with work, so I had to choose.
Alena, Varya and Savely Photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TDA year ago, Alena and her husband, 12-year-old Savely and two-year-old Varya moved from the northern region to another region. We decided to change the climate. Sergei works as a taxi driver, Alena advises, engages in the house and sews the naive and touching dolls of Tilda. Vyslowry hares in anticipation of the new owners eavesdrop on our conversation, peeping from the shelves of a book rack. Tildes are not superfluous for the family budget - equal consultants do not take money from those to whom they help. So they stand on the table side by side a computer and a sewing machine. When the next message picks up, Alena puts off needlework and turns on in the decision of another trouble that happened to someone. And he will decide. She is stubborn.
“I looked at the house in the Pskov region,” says Alena. - My dream to create a house where women could come to live after imprisonment if they have nowhere to go. Many have children, but the guardianship does not return them to mothers until they solve the issue of housing and work. And I would also have a sewing workshop. They would kill two birds with one stone at once. ”
Colleagues on the project “equal to equal” association “E.V.A.” They say that Alena is always taken for the most difficult cases. Alena shrugs - yes there are no special cases, I work with everyone, that's all.
Do not burn everyone
Once, an official of one small town with whom Alena was discussing an action with HIV prevention, confidentially told her that she knew a good way to combat AIDS-to build a crematorium and burn everyone. He did not know about Alenin. “The embarrassment came out when I said,” Alena laughs, recalling.
In small cities there are more prejudices, more fears and worse with prevention. Yes, and prevention, as an additional load, is hung on an elderly nurse, who is afraid of everything. “What can she say about how to live with HIV? - Alena shrugs. - And equal consultants not only know the theory and law, but many of the situations that are addressed to us themselves have passed and survived. Therefore, trust in us is much higher. ”
Alena and Varya go to the local AIDS center photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TDIn large cities, they also often refuse various surgical interventions, installation of implants, plastic surgery. HIV even managed to write down in a contraindication for brushing the teeth from tartar. Recently, equal consultants were dealt with with three refusals to replace the joints. While a person before hospitalization did not bring a certificate of HIV, the doctors did not find contraindications, but then it began.
“Often it is enough to come to the conversation, openly put the recorder on the table, they say, I'm sorry, I’m not sure of your memory - and everything is decided by itself. There are enough letters to the Ministry of Health, and there are drugs that are supposedly not, ”Alena says about the solved situations. -Once I went to give a lecture on HIV prevention and the rules of life with HIV to the zone. I wanted to go a second time. I’m calling - this is Tarasov, I want to give a lecture on tuberculosis. They answered me: "Thank you, no need, we will not scoop up the consequences of your first lecture." The guys learned about their rights and began to actively demand to comply with the protocols of therapy and control tests. ”
Medicine is not for you
Almost around the clock, five consultants respond to appeals in messengers, social networks and by phone, help to draw up complaints and letters to the official bodies, support and share experience. The most frequent situations that are addressed to equal consultants is the disclosure of the diagnosis and, as a result, dismissal from work. The story when they survive from work, having learned about the status, is very frequent.
In a small town from the gynecologist, information about the HIV-status of the cleaning lady of the local store flowed. The director called her and said - bring the certificate that this is not true, or quit. She quit. She had severe depression, one with a child, there is no money. In the hands of Alena, she fell on the verge of suicide. In this case, the tragedy was prevented.
Alena, Varya and Savely Photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TDThe woman had a child, she fell off the kindergarten from work, forgot to turn off her computer. Colleagues got into, found information that she had HIV infection, and began to survive from work. She defended the work using consultations. And then she went to the hospital with acute back pain, and she was diagnosed with osteochondrosis. Two days later, she died of an ectopic pregnancy.
And notes on medical records are eternal pain and struggle. Some directly openly write on the cover of the HIV or B-20 cards, others, more shy, draw colored strips, put pluses, ticks, triangles. All this is a direct violation of the patient's rights to non -disclosure of the diagnosis. Sometimes such leaks lead to real tragedies. The girl in the hospital of one of the district centers brought a blanket on which B-20 is largely written (HIV according to the code of disease). They wrote a complaint with her to the Ministry of Health.
The woman found out about HIV status after having overcome severe oncology. 32 years, two children, a heavy divorce. When the back pain appeared, by the nature of the pain, by its appearance, swelling, any student would immediately suspect the kidneys. The ambulance, who arrived on the call, diagnosed osteochondrosis and left. She was taken to the hospital only from the sixth call. She did not wait for the attention of doctors and died of purulent pyelonephritis, which is easily treated.
Alena photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD“When you come across such wild stories, then you understand - if not we, then who? We will help. In the XXI century, people should not die only because someone considers them unworthy of help, ”Alena Tarasova is sure.
Each of the five consultants of the project “equal to equal” has their own difficult life history and experience of overcoming. Each of them knows what to be outcast, to catch contemptuous glances and hear the unfair: "So they need." They survived and now help others. In 2017 alone, they held 900 consultations. Over the past two years, by calling, e -mail and messengers of equal consultants, more than two and a half thousand appeals were received by which they figured out. Such a volume of work takes almost all the time of equal consultants. Their consultations are free for everyone, but this work should be paid. They do not just help individuals in trouble, they change the environment in which we all live. They stop the epidemic, because a person living with HIV, if he helps him, as a rule, is committed to treatment, drinks tablets, he has zero viral load, and he cannot transfer the infection.
Let's support the work of equal consultants together so that none of us and our loved ones will ever hear the squeamish: "Dry, leave, quit." Even a small monthly donation will allow equal consultants and continue to quickly help everyone who needs their help.