Translated material
How I lay in Rehab. Chapter Three
He closed his eyes - sat on a wooden stake. He was over again - you were tied up. Our reader Ilya Pinaev, who was at the center of rehabilitation of drug addicts, continues to talk about his experience. You have already read about how the system of fines in such centers is arranged as the life of their inhabitants looks, and now the author focused on inventive punishments that he and his new acquaintances was subjected to. From the same chapter, you will learn how smells can become a powerful drug and why suicides send their holes on their own.
The same days replaced each other, merging into one dirty-dark spot, as if the gray chains of commodity wagons of railway composition flew before their eyes. The same gloomy and cold, they carried me with a dead load in an unknown direction, and, perhaps, even the driver of this train did not know when the next station would be.
It just so happened that no matter what exorbitantly difficult or foolish conditions to me in life, after some time, I began to consider them an integral part of it and hardly gave them the tenth of the meaning that they received at the beginning. So a month later I was absolutely used to sleeping for less than four hours a day, there is modestly and always be able to be in a state of increased attentiveness in relation to my actions and words. By this time, I managed to visit the closed club of "water procedures" several more times and therefore began to naturally make certain efforts, so as not to renew the membership so uncomfortable for the body. Gradually prompted zeal in work was replaced by real, because nowhere, except in isolation, one can feel the true, human hunger in activity. I studied the literature available to me with interest, participated in the arising near -psychological conversations here and tried in every possible way to get to short work on the street in order to stay in open space at least a little. Fresh air and smells suddenly became for me something desired and valuable. Sometimes freezing, I, as long as the lungs, breathed deeply, closing my eyes, and enjoyed a symphony from the aromas of flowering, bonfires, manure and freshly spaced earth. The house was on the outskirts, on the very edge of the village, but the smells of meat flowed there, which was fried by vacationers on the banks of the nearby river. Smells brought with them not only groaning abdominal pain, accompanied by a sharp salivation, but also a lot of memories of the carefree summer times of my past life. At these moments, somewhere inside, I swore solemnly a thousand times that I would appreciate what I have and rejoice at every day. Oh, this romanticism of the starving, God's God!
The next street amber concert was interrupted by a blank cry:
- Ilya!
“Ah,” I said, opening my eyes and driving away the remnants of oblivion.
Nearby, Sanya stood blurring in a grin.
- The self -will of the "dream". Another one - and you will get a "peg."
The announced violations were never discussed, because this was punished, so in such unfair cases it was worthwhile to simply fill up with his fucker and silently return to reality. Yes, and explaining the closed eyes of the suddenly awakened love for the smells of the outside world would be difficult.
- Write down? He added.
I climbed into my notebook pocket and quickly scribbled the desired word there.
- Recorded.
- Let's turn off, dinner soon.
I gathered shovels and a rake in an armful and moved towards the house. I was caught up by another resident who worked on the street, whose name was Said, followed by, whistling, he was seeding Kolyan.
- What, have you announced a dream? He asked.
- Well.
- You get rid of the way. Insert toothpicks.
“This is understandable,” I agreed with a sigh
The dream was one of the most interesting and at the same time unacceptable violations, therefore, the punishment for him was inventive. The rehabilitant frowned twice a day fell to squatting so that one of the buttocks fell on the sharpened wooden peg, and in this form sat on it, like on a chair, the time allotted by the staff. It was impossible to rise, but to fall - as much as you like. At an hour, the legs and lower back were in such shit that the served punishment, not having the opportunity to straighten their knees, simply fell on their side and came to their senses for some time. From the side, the spectacle was honest, extremely hilarious, but for obvious reasons, I did not want to participate myself not very.
“Le, you can bear it calmly,” Said intervened in the conversation.
“Well, you clearly know,” I answered, hinting at his hat-trick in this field, and we, looking at each other, grinned synchronously.
Saida was brought by relatives who tired of hiding his methadone system from friends and acquaintances. The Caucasian family, exhausted by shame and national contradictions, agreed to any measures so that this nightmare ended. The last straw was the desire of his son to connect himself the bonds with a Russian girl, which, apparently, was qualified as final insanity, and soon the “opera” knocked on his door.
When we were already climbing the porch, the sounds of beating glass and moving furniture were suddenly heard from the house. Obviously, a fight took place in the room. Looking at each other, the interns quickly pushed us onto the veranda, closed the doors and ran into the group. The action at this point has already ended, and both participants in the brawl were twisted by people who arrived from all sides. Having frowned, they viciously looked at each other, eagerly drawing air with their noses.
- What are you, completely Ahuel?! - Suddenly crashed behind the backs. Pouring everyone, a consultant to Dima burst into the circle. He weighed a good hundred kilograms and therefore, against the backdrop of compressed residents, looked extremely impressive.
- I, fucking, ask: what are you here, fuck, confused everything in the world?
The family, obviously accepted the question for the rhetorical, since there was no answer.
- Both swim. The family is a rope, ”Dima summed up.
After these words, there was such a silence, as if time suddenly stopped its move. The “rope” was an extremely inconvenient for life a group punishment aimed at rallying the team, and, apparently, created by silence “slowing down” reality, we wanted to live a little more in a state of so rapidly elusive comfort. From the outside, all these “punishments-consequences” were sometimes very similar to a kind of timbilding, for the only difference being that you cannot leave it, and if you are not doing well in trainings, you get a pussy.
While I was twisting in my head, ridiculous variations of this analogy, a “rope” was introduced into the group. It was a 10-15-meter polypropylene cord with loops for brushes every 30 centimeters. The loops were put on their hands - and in such a “human multi -hand” the team could exist until the crescent, without taking it off for a second. It was unrealistic to sleep on the beds in this form, and on a date with Morpheus we went to mattresses laid out on the floor, huddled in a heap, like a flock of stray dogs. Oddly enough, such an approach really brought us closer, but this did not happen at once. In the early days, conflicts flashed one after another, because now even an elementary turn of one person in space turned into a synchronous group action. For example: visiting the toilet in a large way in general turned into a separate mini-representation. Almost the entire chain crowded at the restroom, where, in fact, the culprit of the triumph in the company of people who was lucky enough to walk with him on neighboring loops. He always sat a cope with such a guilty-shifted mug that laughs involuntarily pulled out of his chest. The cleaning of the house ceased to be something happily-calm and turned into joint, alternately campaigns in the areas. Now the standard motivational life at first seemed comfortable and comfortable at first.
One of the last days of the “ropes”, a rehabilitant named Danya suddenly threw off his loop in Group and went to the center of the house.
“I gobbled up the blades from the razor,” he blurted out and shot in his eyes in the direction of the experience.
The family spontaneously ran for the family.
- That is, you can’t apply for lunch? Someone shouted from the end of the chain.
- Can I take your portion? - Picked up in the middle.
Laughter became louder and friendly.
-And what are you lunch without a family? Do you draw in one booth? - Choking with laughter, a newcomer named a thyroid nickname, who received his nickname for the use of the grass of the same name as the basis for spice.
“I scream you, Sanya, I'm serious!” - hissed the pale Misha, still drilling through the eyes of the interns.
“Dress the rope, you are completely a fool ...” one of the old men intervened, but was immediately interrupted by the arrived consultants.
- Akhuel! Danechka, dear, you are completely ahuel!
“Take me to the hospital,” Danil said timidly, his original confidence suddenly disappeared into one knew.
- Yeah, of course, the sun. Only we will call the carriage so that you are more comfortable.
The rest of the staff pulled himself up.
- Well, what are we doing, as an elder? - Dima asked dryly.
- And what to do? - Sanya answered immediately. - Even if the soruste is stuck, all the same, without any use. I found it in the intestine to let the gang ... there are blades that hair. It will break through and not notice.
Having a ten-year term, departed in the 105th, Sasha, like no other, knew how and what is better to spoil the body from the inside in order to get to the hospital.
- Exactly? - Still made sure Dima.
“Yes,” Sanya answered, probably, as well as annoyed distrust. - I have grunted nails, spoons, brushes, and then the blades. Stop. Give the oil a glass to him. Well, pussy, of course.
Dania got in front of her eyes.
- And if I go here? - He decided to play the last, as he, apparently, seemed to him a good card.
“So we will bury the house.” And put the cross.
“I do not believe in God,” Danil almost whispered.
“Well, it means without a cross,” Kolyan summed up.
Until late at night, after mandatory “bath procedures”, Danil Kopal for his house, which was supposed to be his last refuge in the event of his untimely death. I secretly envied this punishment, for, greedy for physical exertion, I myself would not have against changing its places and stretch the body instead of boring lectures and evening scribes. Periodically, a scream came from the street.
- Are you still alive?
“Yes,” Danya wheezed.
“You, most importantly, go before you get away, get to the bottom.” Think about people.
- Fine.
Gradually, he disappeared from sight, and only a bayonet once every few seconds took off over the edges of the “grave”, unloading the earth. Looking out the window after what is happening, now and then grabbing the eyes of a flashlight in the hands of a consultant on a pit, for an unclear reason I suddenly felt some special internal comfort. Whether it was a spiritual peace, which was talked about in the classroom, or just for the first time in my life, I realized that I did not need to stir up anything, steal and should not run anywhere-it was unclear, but my whole life in a second became some kind of calm and understandable and at the same time for some reason attractive and cordial. Perhaps, it was then, looking at Danil’s torment in the pit, I realized that I was the same in my own life, and internally I decided to use drugs anymore. It is "I do not want", and not "I will not."
Soon the next issue, do not miss!
