We go to special guests

Employees of the Guest House help to get a respite to parents of special people and people with disabilities

We help the prospects to help

The name Rezeda, popular among Tatar girls, means "mature." From Latin, Reseda is translated as healing, a return to the previous state. But this is just a coincidence.

Rezeda is a large dark -haired girl with mobile facial expressions, a childish smile and deep black eyes. She was twenty-five years old, and she barely began to speak. Papa Rezeda, Ilshat, never figured out that his daughter was for the diagnosis, - he stumbling guiltily about the word, he speaks of mental retardation. The charity organization “Prospects”, which helps people with disabilities, speak more confidently: the girl living with her parents in the Vsevolozhsk of the Leningrad Region has an autistic spectrum disorder.

Approach bypass

With a reference is not easy. Unlike many other special children, it avoids contacts. It can not be hugged once again and stroke on the head - you need to keep the distance, otherwise you can inadvertently harm and disturb it.

We must go around, affectionately-do not demand to do something, but ask: "Rezeda, do you want to change clothes?"

She is independent: she cooks simple dishes, washes, works around the house. But he is very afraid to be alone: ​​once her parents left home, and when they returned, they found the door and dents removed from the loops on furniture. It is very scary to be a raceche for a long time to be next to strangers: it will allow our photographer to take herself only about fifteen minutes, and then she will begin to be nervous, scream and wave her hands - she will break the cup.

Rezeda shows her jewelry photo: Elena Ignatieva for TD

You rarely hear understandable words from a reseda. She speaks quite a bit, and more often it is her own, bird tongue - exclamations and quiet brushes. You can’t contact her directly and ask for something, this can cause a flash of aggression. We must go around, affectionately-do not demand to do something, but ask: "Rezeda, do you want to change clothes?"

In childhood, the girl did not have the opportunity to learn how to formulate her needs and requests using special icons. Such systems have long been developed for children with autism, but in the remote village of Opochka in the Pskov region, where Pope Ilshat served, it was useless to look for specialists. Now it is difficult to explain the reserved what she wants. In the middle of the walk, she can cry and burst into a random cafe, because she wanted to go to the toilet. Scatter socks and linen throughout the room when they did not hear it. To scatter chairs - she accidentally turned her leg, so it was painful and insulting. Doctors tried to drown out these explosions with potent drugs. But suppressed energy still broke through. Sometimes a few minutes later, hours or even days - you will not guess.

They were tired of the order

Rezeda wants to be order. This is not such a procedure, which was taught her dad, a major of the rear support service. This order is paradoxical, absurd and therefore only more strict. As soon as you eat, she takes the plates from everyone else at the table to load them into a dishwasher. A stranger will easily embarrass the fact that all the “lightning” will fasten him tightly - it should be only like that, and nothing else. In the refrigerator, it will rearrange all ten times until it subordinates it to it understanding of an understandable system. For a long time it will rattle and make noise with a vacuum cleaner, cleaning the room - but it will not allow others to even make a little a little if this does not correspond to its own graphics. Goodbye at least the minimum possibility of repair.

Reseda is very sensitive and vulnerable. She loves when her bird's tongue is listened, and she herself can listen to classical music for a long time. And the subject of her delight is the sea. Water sparkles so beautifully and shimmers in the sun. It is a pity that the Rezeda feels very awkward in the pool - too many strangers, too much attention and incomprehensible questions.

A stranger will easily embarrass the fact that all the “lightning” will fasten him tightly - it should be only like that, and nothing else

For the past few years, mom has been doing less and less with her daughter. Mom was very tired - from the explosive nature of the reseda, from the fact that all the campaigns in the doctors did not lead to any improvements, from the indifference and heartlessness of passers -by, from eternal shouts: "Remove your inadequate child!" The last straw was the case that my mother recalls with a shudder. She left a resort in the lobby of a supermarket, and someone did not like that there was a "abnormal", sways and noise. The guard by force pushed the girl out into the street, and my mother found a daughter only about twenty meters from the entrance. And where and how to look for her, if she accidentally left somewhere?

Ilshat, Rezeda and Ramsia Photo: Elena Ignatieva for TD

Papa Ilshat stress and fatigue flooded with alcohol, drank without a prominent day, daylight. But, already going out of service to the reserve, I realized: it is impossible, he can’t and doesn’t want it anymore. Why is it necessary - now there is a wife, family, yes, a difficult child, but what will this drunkenness lead to? What will change for the better? And he pulled himself together: religion became support, but Ilshat is a little shy about talking about it.

Before and after 21

Dad is ready to be as much as it takes. All her oddities are nonsense. He copes. But the only thing that is very missing is time. There are many volunteers, social programs and employment centers in St. Petersburg, and silence in the small Vsevolozhsk. There is no one besides a wife, there is no one, and there is no way to leave, even not for long. Previously, at least the daughter could be taken to the special school “Center for Rehabilitation and Mercy” in St. Petersburg, but after the rain was twenty -one, there was nowhere to seek help; At school, they went to meet, pulled as they could for three years in excess of the laid. The only option is to hand over a resort to a closed boarding school, refusing the rights to custody - Ilshat rejected immediately. Yes, everything happened, and there were enough conflicts, but never to refuse. Is it possible to leave a child without a family?

The guard pushed the girl into the street by force, and my mother found a daughter only about twenty meters from the entrance

Ilshat really wanted to keep his daughter next to him, but at the same time find somewhere a center where she could be left: not forever, but for a short time, for a few days or hours. And here, says dad, the air sip was the project “Guest House” of the Charitable organization “Prospects”. He was told about him in a rehabilitation school - this is an apartment where you can leave attentive prospects in the company for several hours or days of a relative with disabilities of any age. But they warned - it is necessary for the girl to behave calmer.

To visit the second time

For the first time, the reseds in the “guest house” went like this: on the eve of her they told her that she would need to stay with strangers, she did not sleep all night, cried, looked at the ceiling and fell asleep in the morning, safely overslept a planned visit. Then dad and daughter simply went to the “guest house” to get acquainted with his employees - and the next time Rezeda already decided to stay for a couple of hours. Then at night. Then for two, three, four and, finally, for ten days.

Ilshat helps daughter find a cartoon photo: Elena Ignatieva for TD

In the “Guest House” there are experienced employees who know all the unobvious subtleties of communication with special people. Pretty soon they found an approach to the girl and made friends with her. And Ilshat and his wife finally could exhale - and now in their free days they walk around their beloved Petersburg, go to theaters and meet friends. If possible, they leave a daughter on a “guest” every couple of months - more often it is already hard for her, and there will not be enough space in the “guest house”.

The “guest house” is generally not enough resources. It works completely due to private donations, and about a series of records in it is always filled for months in advance. Parents who have embarked on a difficult path of educating a special child, from time to time, need a break and the opportunity to relax a bit. Every 200 rubles transferred is one hour of payment of a social worker, who will give the families of children with disabilities to the families of children with disabilities. Please support the “guest house”.

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