Daughter of contention

The girl is four and a half years old. From eight months, she grew up in a happy foster family. Mother is deprived of parental rights. His own father, who until now, did not take any participation in his daughter’s life, established paternity with the help of a genetic test and seized the girl from the foster family. The custody helped him in this

Olga called the door - one, another, fifth. She pressed the bell and at the same time listened to the sounds in the apartment, tried to understand whether a familiar voice was heard. Her husband stood nearby, dialed the phone number again and again, listened to long beeps. A set, reset - and a new one until a metal voice says: "The subscriber does not answer, leave a message by voice mail." To make it more convenient to call, he put on half the bags with food, vitamins and clothes.

Olga’s mobile phone sawed Smska: “We do not need anything, we have everything.”
Half an hour later they desperate and left, leaving the bags on the stairs. But Olga hopes that then the door opened, and the bags were taken.

"Illegally retained" Dasha

A week before, we are sitting with Olga Kivat in one of the Moscow network cafes. Olga does not eat anything, speaks with restraint and politely, often smiles. Only the hands move sharply, and the eyes shine. Olga sniffs with his nose and immediately apologizes. “Yes, even the boss asks me how I can work, talk, laugh. Only this is how it turns out. Because if you think about it, I want to lie down and howl - for two months everyone forces me to give my child, and no one is going to do anything about it. ”

Olga is waiting for Olga's daughter Dasha, so Olga looks at the watch and wonders: my grandmother was already walking? Has fed? Olga’s daughter has only in words. According to the Law, Dasha Olga, no one, from November 3, 2017, she is a girl without documents, which Olga, her husband and mother “illegally hold it in home.

They did not immediately decide on the adopted child. Long attempts to get pregnant, treatment, the husband was at first scared, and then he liked the idea. They went to the school of foster parents, and Olga began the day with viewing photos in the database of children left without parental care. First, Olga went to the eight -month Dasha to the hospital alone, then with her husband. The girl was there "according to the act of seizure", her biological mother was deprived of parental rights, in the column "father" stood a dash.

“We lived a family for almost four years. Everything was very good until the person came and said: “I am dad!” ”

“The guardianship said that her mother has five children, she left everyone, her mother is not a drug addict, all the children are good, without illness,” says Olga. - They said that it is unrealistic to restore her parental rights. We lived a family for almost four years. Everything was generally very good until the person came and said: “I am dad!” ”

"You will not cross through the blood"

Oleg Burekhin does not pick up the phone, messages in the messenger are viewed, but remain unanswered. His mother writes one phrase: "Leave us alone." In July this year, Oleg Burekhin filed a lawsuit to establish paternity. Olga found out from the graph from the graph of the birth certificate of Dasha and the surname from the judicial agenda. She found Burekhina on social networks and wrote two words:

- Is that you?

- Yes, I.

Olga did not know what to ask, a pause hung in a conversation.

- What do you want?

- This is my daughter, I want to pick her up, I beg, I conjure the Lord, do not interfere with this.

“She considers us parents, she does not know you at all!”

- Through the blood you will not cross! - Burekhin wrote in response.

Olga Kitet and Daria photo: From personal archive

In the forensic examination, one family - Dasha and the foster parents - and the other - Oleg, his mother and son - stood in different corners. No one knew what to do and what to say. Finally, the grandmother pushed her grandson to Dasha: "Here is your sister, give her candy." The boy went to his sister with a bag of goodies.

“Excuse me, she can’t,” Olga intervened and began to explain that Dasha Celiacia had an incurable disturbance of digestion, when nothing flour can be eaten.

“Nothing,” the grandmother said soothingly. - We had this with the elder, they cured and we will cure Dasha.

Olga and her husband checked the mailbox three times a day, waited for the call to announce the results of the examination. But they recognized them from VKontakte. "Congratulate me, I'm dad!" - writes with Smiley Oleg Burekhin Olga and attaches a photo with a court conclusion.

"What could I write to him?" - says Olga and holds out a phone for me. It says: "Congratulations ..."

Uncertain status

At one time, Olga and her husband chose a reimbursable form of custody, not adoption. This means that while the child is brought up in their family, they receive benefits from the state - in Moscow, it makes up 18–22 thousand rubles depending on different circumstances. When the child grows up, he will have the right to an apartment or a share in the apartment of his blood parents or an apartment from the state if a child is a round orphan. The benefit paid can only be spent on the needs of the child, the guardian annually reports on expenses in his guardianship.

- Now everyone writes: "Why did she take under guardianship, and not adopt?" - says Olga. - Yes, we could adopt, but then the money for guardianship was not superfluous for us. My husband worked, I was on maternity leave, my daughter quickly revealed Celiac disease, which required examinations, treatment, and special nutrition. I could not afford to abandon this money. But if you know how it turns out ...
About the "must be adopted" she was also informed in custody.

“Have you told me about it?!” - says Olga. - I would adopt at the same moment as you told me that it is more correct to do so.

- Oh, but in my practice this was not there! - an employee of the guardianship answered her.

Olga was not going to maintain the secret of adoption. A year ago, Dasha asked: "Have I been in your tummy?" Olga said: "No." A little later, they expected to engage in the search for blood relatives, but were in no hurry, waited for the girl to grow up.

Neither guardianship authorities nor foster parents understand the difference between different types of foster parenthood Elena Alshanskaya photo: Kirill Lugutko

“This is a very indicative case, because neither the guardianship authorities nor foster parents often understand the difference between different types of family structure,” says Elena Alshanskaya, president of the volunteer BF to help orphans. " - People perceive the difference between “adoption” and “reimbursable care” as a purely financial. ”
Alshanskaya says that often custody often does not even try to explain how these forms of the device are different: “You open the base and see a bunch of cute kids, and you simply do not notice small beams about the shape of the device. Moreover, if the child has no form “adoption”, then his parents did not completely lose the right to him. And even if parents are deprived of rights, in some cases they have the opportunity to restore their parental rights. ” Alshanskaya says that in her practice there was a case when her mother was deceived in the hospital, saying that the child died. Having accidentally learned that this is not so, the mother passed the process of restoration of rights and, on the basis of a genetic examination, took away the child already adopted by another family in ten years.

“You need to understand that blood relatives are not risks, but opportunities,” says Alshanskaya. - But in order for the relationship to be civilized, it is necessary that the guardianship needs to work more carefully, initially “practiced” all related lines, and the foster family was aware of the situation. Of course, this almost never happens in practice. ”

In the guardianship of the Dmitrovsky district of the city of Moscow, Olga said: "When will you come for the second?" There are many children, you can find with a more specific status, once the first time did not work.

“I tell them, sorry, normal at all? Do you have children yourself? - says Olga. - And in response I heard: “What did I say that?!” ”

A housing issue

The guardianship does not officially comment on the situation, sending journalists to the Moscow Department of Social Protection. They informally say that the biological father really did not know that this was his daughter, and was even going to write her out of the apartment. As soon as he had information, he immediately made a genetic test for several tens of thousands of rubles and began the process of recovery in rights.

Olga believes that her father’s interest in her daughter can be associated with his desire to improve housing conditions. Dasha is registered in the suburbs, in the city of Noginsk, along with her biological parents, brothers and sisters. Oleg already has one child, a boy. Vypower children in care is more than square meters.

“It is not true that Oleg did not know that he was the father of the child,” says Elena, the biological mother of the child. “If he did not know why he met me from the hospital?” Lived later with me? ”

Elena herself grew up in an orphanage, she says that she is happy, that her child was taken from the institution, she speaks poorly about the former cohabitant - he drank, and walked, and had problems with the law. “I believe that Dasha is better with Olga,” she says firmly. However, since she is deprived of parental rights, her point of view does not matter.

The house where there are controversial square meters, one side looks at the wasteland, the other - at a broken courtyard with pits, where you can easily leave a car wheel. There are no locks on the doors, the corridor system and common kitchens, drinking companies come into the house every now and then. The house looks foreignly surrounded by other quite modern houses, local residents have long been living a dream of the demolition of a five -story building.

-We have something? We will have renovation, ”says a strangled man walking with a thick lazy dachshund.

“What a renovation,” a neighbor smoking in the window screams from the window. - This is a renovation in Moscow, and here we, on ***, die.

Neither Elena, nor her children, nor Oleg here remember or does not want to talk about them.

Child transfer commission

“At the trial, I was asked why I hold a stranger,” says Olga. - As soon as the guardianship contract was terminated, Oleg immediately rewrote Dasha to his last name. He has one child according to the documents, but I get another. ”

According to Olga, the biological father of Dasha all the time set the deadline when he arrives for the child, but several times the meetings were breaking away, he did not come. The guardianship claims that she tried to organize her father’s meetings with her daughter, but Olga prevented this. Olga says that the guardianship did not offer any special assistance in this:

“They convened a commission to transfer the child. I wanted psychologists to say whether it is normal that the child goes to his father, whom he does not even know?! But the commission said: "We have no reason not to remove guardianship from you, because there is a blood dad." And about the child, about her feelings, about her condition, it was not at all about this commission at all. One of the psychologists working with the guardianship suggested transferring Dasha to a new family right away, but "do not chop the tail in parts."

Olga Kitet and Daria photo: From personal archive

In the fall, Oleg came to kindergarten and tried to pick up Dasha from there. The head saw a stranger, she realized that the girl would not recognize him, and called Olga and her husband and the police. The police were all explained for another two hours, Olga emphasizes that her father showed no interest in the girl. The police, having listened, offered, while there was a trial, to pick up Dasha, who grew up almost from birth, for a while in an orphanage ,.

I ask if Olga told the child about his father, did I try to introduce him to him.

"From the very beginning of this story, Dasha said:" Here is your dad! " And she replies: "I have a dad!" We tried to explain, said that maybe you would live with your grandmother, uncle, brother. She is immediately in tears. "

One of the psychologists working with guardianship suggested transferring Dasha to a new family at once

At the preliminary meeting to dispute the removal of guardianship, the judge asked Dasha the same question.

“It’s good, we played with him,” the girl said.

- Do you want to live with him?

- No, I don't want to! - Dasha answered firmly. Only the opinion of the child in court in such issues is taken into account from the age of ten. Now Dasha is four years and four months.

Three wrong sides

On December 8, guardianship came to the Kivat family with another check. There was a grandmother with Dasha, Olga hurriedly went home from work. Two women from the guardianship entered the apartment, began to communicate, at some point one of them opened the door, and the father came in. What happened next, Olga photographed on a mobile phone: a man in a jacket grabs her child in a home dress and takes out the door, his grandmother tries to interfere, Dasha screams terribly: “Mom-aaaaa” and pulls his hands to Olga.

“I am now reproached for shooting it on camera,” Olga says, “but it’s easy to say who would do what in such a situation. It was important for me to fix it. ”

Tatyana Baidak, a large adoptive mother, one of the commenting on this video in the thematic group on the Internet, says: “What we see in the video is a crime against a child who will be injured for life, because a girl from his home was carried out in winter without outerwear against her will against her will. It is monstrous that all this happened before our eyes and with the participation of three sides - her own father, adoptive mother, and guardianship officers. The seven nannies have a child without an eye, in this case - with a crippled psyche. " Tatyana emphasizes that this video is only the result that preceded the months of communicating interested parties.

“It is not difficult to evaluate its quality,” says Tatyana. - Is it possible to make a child’s transfer to the father, if it was inevitable, in a more civilized way? You can and should. Why was this not done? The audience is unknown. The fact that blood and foster parents could not agree - it is clear that they have diametrically different motives and desires. Why the neutral side, custody, could not bring the conflict situation around the child to a relatively prosperous finale - a question. ”

The video shows that the custody acts on the side of his father, opens the door for him, one of the employees is fencing off Olga from a screaming child. “This is not the first video where we observe how with the participation of employees of the guardianship of the child against his will they take away from his family or adoptive parents,” says Tatyana Baidak. “And now the most reasonable thing is to ask how to make such a situation as in the video the last.”

***

Little Dasha is now in Pokrov, with his brother and grandmother. It is not known with her or not her father whether he has a shift work in Moscow. Former foster parents and guardianship give explanations in the Investigative Committee, the court will continue. Olga says that he and her husband will go to the cover, carry bags with vitamins and medicines, leave them on the stairs or pass them through local custody. Olga wrote a petition to the Ministry of Labor and Social Protection, the State Duma, the Prosecutor General and the President of Russia with a request to return her daughter. In two days it was signed by fifteen thousand people.

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