Translated material
Part of the mainland
There is such a job - to grow roots, return love, "restore the mainland"
We help do not spill water collected 1 191 131 r required 1,188,410 rThe collection of funds is over
There is no person who would be like an island, in itself, each person is part of the mainland, part of the land.
John Donn
- My bunny, Zayushka!
The probe peasant awkwardly holds a smartphone in a reddened hand, in the second-a photograph of a teenage girl.
“Do you remember what I called you?” My little bunny! Of course you don't remember ...
We are standing in the very center of the small Smolensk village, but there is no one around. The jacket is pairing around the shoulders of a man, wide trousers beat under his feet under the gusts of ice wind. I would like to turn away, not listen, move away or, conversely, hug him - because a man begins to cry.
- I called you a bunny and a hamster ... then you were a hamster, and now ... Sveta, daughter, what a beauty you are!
Dead tree
There are no lights. There is a shapeless purple jacket, a hunched back, hair falling on the face, gaze from underneath. Are there any bitten nails, trembling hands, the habit of asking: “Is this you to me? Are you talking to me? " The day before their conversation with his father, we are sitting in the lobby of the orphanage, the world is waiting for a meeting with a psychologist. I propose to contact me, looks in fright and still gives out.
Now the light is fifteen. She has been living in an orphanage for a year, studying - both at school, and exist in a new environment. Learns to understand who she is.
He does not remember himself up to three years of light, and then he remembers the adoptive mother, strict and demanding. Beloved. Sveta had his own clothes, toys, school, "everything is like everyone else." Not like everyone else became later - a teenager grew out of the sweet cheek girl with scandals, deuces, poor behavior and other signs of transitional age. This differed from the ideas of the adoptive mother about how her daughter would grow up. The girl was taken to the institution, telling everyone and everyone about “disgusting behavior”, “bad genetics” and “potential alcoholism”.
Sveta photo: Anna Ivantsova for TD“It's not even about returning,” says Kristina Yakuvich, a psychologist of the “our children” fund. - A child who grew up in a family who was almost never in a children's institution was given to an orphanage to adults. Do you represent the level of injury? Not very smart parents, it happens, scare children: “You will behave badly - I will give it to an orphanage.” Only at Sveta it came true in real life. ”
The “Our Children” fund tried to work with the former adoptive mother of the girl, but did not achieve much success. Then the psychologist and social worker of the fund decided to try to find the girl’s blood parents. Profile experts believe that it is very important for the child to know about blood parents in any case, and in the ideal version - to know that they love him and cared about him before. Even if the situation has changed now and they cannot be together.
Once in classes with a psychologist Christina, Light painted a tree - this is a simple exercise that helps to realize her place in this world. She drew a tree without roots.
Broken life
“Do you remember how you stood in the window?” I'm coming from the factory, and you pressed my nose, wait for me! I haven’t met my mother from work, but I always! And then you run to me, you are falling!
Pause. Sveta asks something.
- Brother, brother! The elder, he served in the army, he rolled you in a stroller!
Pause.
- I collected photos, Mamkin, mine, you, you will see - you will immediately remember, he played a lot with you! Daughter, daughter, how can we see you and me!
Sergey is crying again.
He gives the phone and barrel, timidly climbing into my car, trying to take a smaller place, inaudibly apologizes for not quite clean clothes. He does not want to invite us home, says: “Yes, it’s bad there at all ... And mine is sick. Bad, you don’t need to go there. ”
Conversation by phone of her father with her daughter Svetlana photo: Anna Ivantsova for TDI ask which plant he worked at, just to fill an awkward pause. Sergey throws up: “Yes, on a car repair I! Ten years! And he worked for others! You don’t look ... you don’t look that I am so now, I can show you a labor! I am not a drunk, I am a worker, but life is with us ... I have not developed! ”
Sergei met Maria, the mother of Sveta, having an ad in the local newspaper. The girl responded, correspondence ensued. Once they wrote off, two. Enough, said Sergey, translate the paper, come!
“She came to me with her sister! - It is nice to remember Sergei, he laughs. - I led her for herself, but I immediately felt the deception. I say, yes you wrote to me, I know! And she - I have a son, I did not tell you why I am with him. And I am to her - with us, not you have a son! "
Maria moved to Sergey with her son, Light was born. And then in one month the man was reduced from the factory, Maria had a stroke, their house burned down. Sergey broke and washed down. Parental rights in the light were deprived of them in a year.
Relay of orphan
“And my mother was deprived of motherhood when I was two years old,” says Sergey everyday. “Masha is also boarding school.”
I ask why “deprived of motherhood,” Sergey shrugs and enters the social teacher “Our Children” by Alina Kiprich into a dilapidated hut. He is still shy about calling us all, but wants Masha to call his daughter too. So far, it is possible to do this only from Alina’s phone - psychologists and social teachers of the fund carefully prepare both children and their blood parents for communication.
Now the man works as a tractor driver at a local farmer - almost “for food”. There is no heating in the house of Sergei and Mary, and there is no house as such: the collapsed walls, inside you can only be in outerwear. Lingerie is dried on the ropes, Sergey washed it, Masha does not have one hand. Things dry poorly, they are sinking with an ice crust.
In Russia, there is almost no system of social support for people who find themselves in a difficult life situation, and they themselves have neither the ability nor resources to restore their lives. They surrender almost immediately, and their entire past family experience only reinforces this model. When Maternity was deprived of Mary, he and Sergei tried to find out how to recover in his rights, but the girl was already given to the guardianship. According to the conversation, it is clear that Sergei does not see the difference with adoption - he and his wife decided that they had lost their child forever.
Alina (left) and Christina during a meeting with Svetlana's father photo: Anna Ivansova for TD“If you do not change the system, do not work with such families, an endless reproduction of orphanhood is obtained,” says Kristina Yakuvich. She repeatedly met with the fact that the former orphanages did not resist when the children were already taken away from them. They consider it normal - because they did not know anything else in their life.
Only boots
We are leaving the village - a long road and long work ahead. Alina and Christina will help the light and other children in two boarding schools in the Smolensk region, where “our children” work. They wrap up hundreds of kilometers, visiting their families, communicating, directing, explaining. In order for Sergei and Masha to see his daughter, you need to come up with an action plan, restore documents, agree with the supervisory authorities. The fund does not do this for blood parents, people should go all the way on their own. But not only: now there will be an employees of the fund.
“You don't know what kind of awards are you?”
In the hands of Alina Kiprich, a photograph of the great -grandfather of Sveta, which parents handed over to the girl. A clear smile, short -cut whiskey, on the chest - a guards icon. And also the Order of the Red Star and two medals "For Courage". In the Great Patriotic War, the great -grandfather of Sveta rose to the commander of a saber squadron. Another photo is a great -grandmother, with exactly the same dimples on her cheeks as Sveta. She is a real beauty. It is important for any person to know their history, but this is especially important for a child from an institution that grows separately - both from his family and from society as a whole. Usually a teenager is free or involuntarily similar to someone from the family. Now Sveta has a family of great -grandmother and great -grandfather, hero and beauty.
There are people who can be proud of.
In the rear view mirror, I see Sergey running behind the car with a bag in my hands. I slow down, hand back - he puts the bag in Alina's hands.
- Masha ... boots! The boots wanted to give her own light! So that there were boots from her! She didn’t wear it at all, she walks hard, beautiful boots, tell us, we have nothing more ...
Do not spill water
“Have you ever moved? - Alina drinks coffee at the gas station, it’s completely dark, we drove from end to end to the end of the Smolensk region all day, and go to the house to the house two hundred kilometers. - I noticed that if you are alone in a new city, without relatives and without friends - even if you rarely communicated with them and did not have time to meet, are you especially lonely? And our children are not only in this city - there is no one around the world. Correctly, someone said: "A man is not an island."
Father Svetlana photo: Anna Ivantsova for TD“There is no person who would be like an island, in itself, each person is part of the mainland, part of the land.” Later, I am a mock this quote, it belongs to the English poet John Donn. Psychologists and social teachers of the Foundation “restore the mainland” every day.
Knowing about your parents, an understanding that you loved and loved you, the possibility of communicating with them is the very “roots” that Sveta did not draw in the office of a psychologist. This is not a story about returning to the family, parents are in a too difficult situation to raise and raise their daughter. But communication with them gives the girl the opportunity to feel the right and beloved, and this helps a person grow whole, study and successfully build relationships with other people, peers and adults. The years of observing how the lives of the guys are developing after graduation from the boarding school showed : those who had the opportunity to communicate with relatives were more open to participate in the fund's projects. Those who participated in the projects were more prosperous after the release, adapted better in adulthood, which means that the circle of orphanhood is broken, they will not happen again with their children.
In order to look for relatives and support the communication of children with them, the “Our Children” fund must be paid for the work of psychologists and social teachers of the program “Do not spill water”. Separate money is needed for transportation costs - employees of the Fund go a lot throughout the Smolensk region in search of close people of children from orphanages. Please help the project, and if you can, subscribe to a small regular donation.
Thank you.
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