Children will stay at home

Tatyana Parfenova and her colleagues from the Constant Foundation for seven years, without loking their hands, help dysfunctional families to keep afloat and do everything so that children from such families do not take into the shelters

Help the constant help

It is believed that children are removed only from those families where parents drink, beat children, do not care about them and do not like. So, children in such families are not a place. Therefore, funds who have been fighting for years in order to return children to parents and, above all, to support families in a difficult situation, help reluctantly.

The heroes of these stories are difficult to sympathize with, it is difficult to see themselves in them. This is not oncology, which can happen with everyone, not a stroke, not a seriously ill child and not even a touching stray kitten. Almost every history of the family, which has on the verge of losses of children, on social networks, dozens of comments appear with questions: “Why help?”, “Why give birth, if not at home and money?”, “Why return the children to parents who are deprived of rights?”

There are a lot of such “why”. “Such things” spent several days in the Constant Foundation to answer the questions of why to help such families and what can really be done.

The facets of reality

Tatyana Parfyonova met a sunny cheerful morning in the office of a psychotherapist in the center of Tver. She meets him and talks on the phone several times a month. Tatyana - the head of the Tver branch of the Constant Foundation and heads the key program of the Fund, the "child in the family." Her phone is forever torn: some wards themselves cannot sign up for a doctor, others need a stroller, the third soon the court to restore rights, calls from social protection, the electrician calls, they call ask for seedlings. (One kind person suddenly drove the whole “Gazelle” of seedlings, seeds and fertilizers for families in rural areas.) Someone “constant” helps someone once-for example, to restore the house after a fire. It concludes a social support agreement with someone, and help is provided for many years: literally by the hand, step by step by step the family is taken out of the crisis. They help to somehow solve housing problems, arrange children in school, restore documents, rights to children in court. A special priority is the support of graduates of orphanages. Very often it is they who find themselves in the very difficult situation, already creating their own families.

“Constant” is the only fund in the Million Tver Region that is engaged in the prevention of social orphanage and comprehensive help to families with children in a difficult situation. And there are many such situations, there are not only banal household drunkenness.

Head of the Tver branch of the Constant Foundation Tatyana Parfenova Photo: Anna Ivansova for TD

It is very easy to cross the line with children with children, especially largely, to become dysfunctional. And a good, friendly family can burn a house, one of the parents can die. Parents may lose their jobs and not find another, because even in the district center with work is bad, and in rural areas and even worse. And now there is nothing to pay for housing and communal services, debts are accumulating, there is no money for clothes, firewood for the furnace. If support does not make support in time, a vicious circle often leads to a glass. Especially if everyone around is so hidden from their problems. And now a prosperous family is registered with the guardianship and guardianship authorities that cannot but react.

Sometimes it’s even easier. Countryside. Grandma, mom and two children. Mom works, grandmother receives a pension. In the old house, the stove broke. A new boiler, a new stove - the costs are not huge, but for a single mother there are unbearable, and she in tears herself takes away the children in the frost of children in a social center. Because there is no way out if no one comes to the rescue.

It is easy to pick up a child from the family. It is more difficult to support and save the family

The program "Child in the family" is the key business of the Fund. “Constant” began in 2011 with the support of the Torzhok orphanage, helped with the arrangement of dozens of children in families, and then helped to transform the orphanage into a modern social center for assistance to minors without adult care. It was then that they decided that it was necessary to focus on ensuring that the children in orphanages would not fall. First of all, engage in a comprehensive prevention of social orphanage. Help families survive.

Orphan housing

A special story is housing for orphans. Formally, every graduate of the orphanage should be provided with housing. In reality, Parfenova assures, everything looks a little different. Often, the child is some parental housing, from which he was taken to the orphanage many years ago. This housing can be lost for a long time, be in an unsuitable state, but so far it is formally listed as a child, he will not receive any other housing from the state. It is necessary to seek recognition of housing unsuitable, stand in line and defend your rights. But these guys do not know where to go, how to defend these same rights, and remain on the street. In such cases, the “constant” provides legal assistance, helps with temporary registration, manuals. And you can achieve an apartment. In 2017 alone, 400 apartments were bought for orphans in Tver.

In the office of the Constant charity fund photo: Anna Ivantsova for TD

From the story, Parfyonov is torn off the next phone call. She patiently, repeating several times, explains to the invisible interlocutor that the statement is ready, but it is necessary to take it to social protection on its own. He finishes the conversation and explains that just a kind of orphan girl after release from the orphanage, in fact, remained on the street. The temporary registration is over, from the bed in the hostel I had to leave after the child was born.

“Early children are a frequent story for graduates of orphanages. They lacked love and warmth in childhood that they unconditionally believe the first who said “I love”, ”Tatyana sighs. For many years of working with minors and graduates of orphanages, she saw hundreds of such cases. All stories are very similar, and everyone needs help not to drown in despair: lovers often disappear in the fog, leaving girls with a broken heart and a baby. Now the fund pays the girl renting a house and prepares an appeal to her for her. They hope that next year the issue with housing will be resolved for her.

The custody is not an enemy

When the fund was just starting to work in the Tver region, it was immediately decided to cooperate with local guardianship and social protection authorities - not to conflict and not compete. Only joint work will be effective, they decided in Konstanta and in 2012 concluded an agreement on cooperation with the Government of the Tver region. The regional departments of social protection apply to the fund with applications for assistance. This is very accelerating the processes. But ordinary citizens can directly write to the fund - by e -mail.

“We check all appeals. When the petition comes from social protection, we already know exactly that our help is needed there. And we check the appeals directly, because cases are different. For example, a letter recently came: “A large family, a single mother, burned a house, help.” We called to the local social protection department to clarify what condition of the house is needed and what help is needed. And we were told that the house of the grandmother of children in the village burned out, and my mother and children lived in another place and lives. And the son of this grandmother, who lives in Moscow and hopes to fix the house with the wrong hands, writes letters to everyone. ”

In the office of the Constant charity fund photo: Anna Ivantsova for TD

“After the programs of Malakhov and other television shows, a persistent opinion appeared in society that social protection was sleeping and sees how to remove children from the family as soon as possible. In fact, now social work with crisis families has been built in such a way that you still need to manage to lose their rights to children, ”says Marina Evdokimova, director of the integrated center of social services for the population of the Likhoslavl district of the Tver region. -Children can be removed temporarily to the socio-rehabilitation center after numerous parents' warnings. Parents are given six months to rectify the situation. If nothing changes, then they give another six months. And only in a year we can file a lawsuit to deprive parental rights. During this time, all forces are rushing to help the family. Now get to such that the children are seized, and then not rehabilitate, it should already be complete degradation. There are few of them. Most after the temporary seizure of children is taken by the mind. At least temporarily. "

Just such parents, the wards of Evdokimova, and Tatyana Parfenova drove to the narcologist in the morning. When the children were taken away, the parents came to their senses, the father had already got a job and both agreed to undergo treatment.

Build and cure

And today, Marina Evdokimova came to the Constanta office with an entrepreneur who will build a new house for another Likhoslavl family. A tenth child was recently born in the family. Dad retired, mom for the last fifteen years on maternity leave. The family does not drink, they have a large economy, but there is no strength to improve housing conditions. Twelve people huddle in a small hut, the only room of which is all forced by beds. The Constant Foundation undertook to help with the construction of the house.

“We are constantly looking for organizations that can help families in a difficult situation. Basically, these are sponsors for one -time help - buy a refrigerator, washing machine, beds. “Constant” is the only organization that helps comprehensively. And certainly no one except the “Constant” is not taken to pay for the treatment of people with alcohol addiction, ”says Evdokimova.

Units agree to alcohol dependence

Most assure that they have no problems with alcohol: they want to - they themselves will be abandoned. Tatyana Parfenova says that annually they pay about fifteen primary family visits to a narcologist. Almost always this is several people at once. Sometimes not only parents, but also grandfathers with grandmothers. Many call and say that they are ready to be treated, but they never come. “At some point, we even wanted to close this program,” says Parfenova. - Could not decide whether it really needed it. And then they realized that 56 percent of successful cases after treatment is a high result. And this work is needed. If in eight out of fifteen families adults have tied up, this is a success. ”

Head of the Tver branch of the Constant Foundation Tatyana Parfenova Photo: Anna Ivansova for TD

Almost every day, representatives of social protection of one of the regional regions come to the fund's office. Employees of the Foundation go to the region. There is no car - they are looking for who can take it. Colleague Tatyana Parfenova Svetlana has been hanging on the phone for an hour - looking for a car for a trip to the Rzhevsky district. There the fund has several wards of families: they help someone with repairs, someone bought trousers, things, brought products. But now the bell that was heard at the end of May is most worried. “If you don’t help, I’ll hang it,” the man said in despair in despair. "Constant" will go to understand how dad with three minor children living in a remote and sparsely village can help. Once it was a big friendly family in a large village. Then the five children grew up and parted, the mother died, the village wilted.

“The state helps in difficult situations, but this help is not enough. Literally last week we were engaged in the help of fireworks. Galina, her elderly mother and little daughter remained in a completely burnt -out apartment with knocked out windows. In this case, a one -time payment is 16 thousand rubles. This amount is not enough for anything, ”says Parfyonova, showing photos of a room burned down with black concrete walls. - Only the replacement of windows cost us 57 thousand rubles. Of course, we will help this family at least restore the house. In such cases, in Russia they always helped the whole world. ”

Since the beginning of the year, Constanta has already received 130 appeals for help. Behind everyone is families with their misfortune, and in every family, children whose fate depends on whether there will be people nearby who will put their shoulder at a difficult moment. During its work in the Tver region, the Constant Foundation helped 2067 children. 1943, thanks to the support of the fund, the child remained in the family and did not get into the orphanage. 13 were able to return to the relatives.

"Constant" annually provides assistance to 200 families with children in a difficult life situation. To support families and find an individual approach in each case, the coordinated work of the team is required: the project coordinator, social worker and psychologist. The “need help” fund collects funds just for the work of the team. And also for seminars, where employees of different organizations learn effective methods of working with crisis families. Please support the work of the fund even the most insignificant amount! 50, 100, 200 rubles a monthly donation - this is a cup of coffee, metro travel, but the children of two hundred families will be able to stay at home! And families will survive. So, the world will become a little better.

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