Kirill Martynov: “We have lost such a country”

“In his mansion, Igor Ivanovich is sitting at the dining table. He has a napkin tucked into his collar, and in front of him on a plate is a giant steak with blood. Igor Ivanovich’s face is somewhat smeared with fat, he chews intensively, cutting off large pieces and making sure that each next one is more,” a columnist and teacher at the National Research University Higher School of Economics fantasizes on Facebook in connection with discussions of the upcoming pension reform.

“On the left hand of Igor Ivanovich sits a young financier with delicate features, on a plate in front of him is a steamed cutlet according to the Dukan diet. Shouts can be heard outside the windows: “Give me some bread!”

“I don’t understand the financial meaning of this argument,” the expert comments, carefully cutting his cutlet. - Even if you, Igor Ivanovich, give them your steak, there won’t be enough for everyone. Perhaps a smart way to balance the budget is to transfer them to bark. By the way, bon appetit.

A fan zone for supporters of calorie restriction is being installed outside the window. On the big screen there is a broadcast from Lake Como: Dmitry Kiselev’s wife in a wide-brimmed hat encourages the hungry to see this as a detox.

***

When all this collapses, there will probably be people who will be nostalgic for today’s Russia. Oh, what parades we had! How the stars shone on the chest of the illustrious Kiriyenko. How wittily the Emperor-Sovereign answered questions from the serfs. Citizens went to shopping malls every week, unemployment was so low, police torture was only rare. And the whole world was afraid of us!

Such a country has been lost."