How to bully correctly

A samizdat reader watched Viktor Zolotov’s video message to Alexei Navalny, where the commander-in-chief of the National Guard troops explains corruption and promises to beat the opposition politician, and she understood everything, except why everyone called it a duel.

In search of the right word, Maria Abrosimova went to study the sources and discovered threat as an independent genre in traditional poetry, hip-hop, in New Zealand and schoolyards. About disses, trash talk and callouts, about attacks, bulls, threats and the jargon of fist fights of Irish nomads - in a small (and obviously incomplete) review of the world's hate languages.

"You are a creaking kite"

Irish travelers (pavey, shelta) appeared in the British Isles, according to various versions, either several centuries ago - after the Great Famine in Ireland, or left the place in the early Middle Ages. One way or another, today they are recognized as a separate nomadic people with their own language and culture. For them, fist fighting is not only a way to make money on the underground betting, but also part of the system of relations between clans, often at war for decades, from generation to generation.

Hostility implies a threat, and a threat needs to be well worded. Apparently, for the convenience of communication over long distances, modern Irish nomads communicate some of these threats to each other via YouTube in the form of so-called callouts - invitations to a fist fight with numerous insults. When it comes to fighting, it takes place without rounds and with virtually no rules (you can't hit below the belt, but you can bite). The fight lasts until a knockout or until one of the fighters gives up, but the knockouts themselves are even more interesting to watch.

The Shelt speak their own language, which seems to be a mixture of Irish and English, and the Collout language is also rich in metaphors and is almost incomprehensible to outsiders, but here are some examples of classic threats that can be somewhat translated:

You go hump a lion - Fuck a lion
You're a squeaky kite - You're a squeaky kite
You, potato, fight me and i'll shit in your shower - You, potato, fight with me, and I'll shit in your shower.

Trash talk from the UFC world

Trash talk is a form of insult often used in the world of combat sports to intimidate an opponent and increase one's own media exposure. It was widely used by Muhammad Ali, who loved to start baiting his opponent before a fight (and even during it) so much so that it became something of his signature gesture. “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee; his hands can't hit what his eyes can't see. The first part of the quote is familiar to everyone, but the second part is usually translated into Russian incorrectly: “Hands work, eyes see,” although what is meant is “You can’t hit what you don’t see” - this can be interpreted both as a continuation of the comparison with a bee, and as a reference to the psychological component of the battle.

In 1974, Ali entered the ring against George Foreman, the current heavyweight champion, who had never lost to anyone and was superior to Ali in physical parameters, but he still mocked Foreman as best he could before the fight:

“I saw George Foreman shadowbox and the shadow won.”
“Even from the cradle you knew who I was, you were frightened by my name from the cradle. And today I’ll warm you up so much that you’ll cry like a baby again.”

The fight lasted eight rounds and ended with the victory of Muhammad Ali, becoming one of the most famous fights in boxing history. Foreman would later say, “I thought I was going to knock him out until, after a powerful blow to the jaw in the seventh round, Ali grabbed me in the clinch and whispered in my ear: ‘Is that all you can do, George?’”

In the world of MMA and UFC, fighters’ trash talk at conferences, on Twitter and Instagram has long been as much a part of the show as the fight itself. The famous fighter Conor McGregor (by the way, in July he almost went to prison for attacking an entire bus with UFC participants) never missed an opportunity to humiliate his opponents in advance. At a press conference with Jose Aldo, he called the Brazilian fighter a pussy, a baby and a bitch, offered to sit on his lap, threw darts at Aldo’s photo and generally said a lot, a lot:

“A couple of centuries ago I would have ridden into his favela on horseback and beheaded everyone there who was unable to work. But these are different times, so I’ll kick his ass in the Octagon.”

The Brazilian fighter could not parry because he did not speak English, but promised through an interpreter to show himself in the ring. Conor knocked out Aldo thirteen seconds into the first round.

But Chael Sonnen did not remain in debt after the threats of Silva Vanderlei, whom, by the way, he later defeated in Madison Square Garden.

“Wanderlei, you are a Brazilian immigrant, I am an American gangster. Are you sure you want to play this game with me? I'll sneak into your house under cover of darkness, turn off the power, and you'll hear me coming up the stairs with night vision goggles <...> I'll kick down the door to your room and take pictures of you and the Nogueira brothers practicing jiu-jitsu in your bed, I will post it on the website www.DorksFromBrazil.com . That's how you make threats, stupid."

Coast War diss

The most famous beef in the history of rap is the “War of the Coasts,” which unfolded in the United States when Los Angeles rappers began to seriously compete with the old school of the Bronx.

In 1991, Tim Dog released the track Fuck Compton, a diss track against all West Coast rappers, in which he threatened to shoot them. In response, Western rappers recorded many tracks, including Dr. Dre's track "Dre Day" with Snoop Dogg.

Death threats appeared in almost every diss track of that time, and they were accompanied by a very real street war: in 1996, Tupac Shakur was mortally wounded, a year later Biggie died in a shootout - and these are just the most famous names in rap of the nineties. The list of victims numbers hundreds and is still completely unknown.

One of the early Russian diss songs is Noize MC’s response to the diss track of the duet B&4 (BiCh). The rappers decided that Noise unfairly won against one of them (Check) at the SGK MC battle. Noize MC did not agree with them and recorded “They say it’s ugly.”

After the meeting between Oksimiron and Johnnyboy on Versus, rap battles spilled out from YouTube into the courtyards of Russian schools. Children began organizing their own battles, recording them on video and posting them online—there were fewer likes, probably because the round started with tsu-e-fa. Nevertheless, there is something unusual there:

“My rap is my bread. Your rap is nonsense. You're eating an omelet, and I'm an athlete. You can't live without cutlets. You say you’ll tear everyone up, but in reality you’ll break your own ass.”
"I'll troll you, azazaz."
“This is the street, you stupid chicken.”

Izberbash school

Dagestani Kamil from the city of Izberbash is known on the Internet under the nickname Kama Bullet. Videos of him began to appear online in 2014, but Kama has already come a long way since then. Having ceased to be a man in the splits and with a gun, he became just a man in the splits and today he mainly preaches a healthy lifestyle, opposes masturbation, shares everyday truths, and meditates. In the comments, fans call him a modern philosopher:

“It doesn't matter how fast you go, little brother. The main thing is don't stop. Be like water, as Bruce Lee said."
"Idleness is the devil's plaything."
“Today I’m drunk, but tomorrow I’ll sober up. And some will remain a fagot forever, wearing silk panties.”

Kama does push-ups, demonstrates karate moves and “parks” in the cross splits in the most unexpected places - even in the air, resting her feet on the bumpers of two cars.

Several dozen fan groups on social networks are dedicated to Kamil, he has his own memes, a collection of T-shirts with quotes, sticker packs - you can even find fan fiction with his participation on the Internet.

By the way, in the conflict between UFC fighter Khabib Nurmagomedov and Timati, Kama took Nurmagomedov’s side, recording a video message in which he warned Timati not to gaslight Khabib until he got it. It's not at all delicate.

Maga Lezgin is another native of Dagestan who became famous thanks to his mastery of threat. He publicly expresses his dislike for Vladimir Zhirinovsky and Dmitry Medvedev, and a separate video is dedicated to Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama, in which Maga threatens both presidents with violence if the dollar continues to rise.

There is also a whole series of videos on YouTube dedicated to his confrontation with Kama Bullet, but today the conflict has come to an end, its participants are alive and well, and some even doubt that the conflict took place at all, and was not staged as a celebrity crossover by Dagestan comedians from Khakhachkala project.

All Blacks Haka

Traditional New Zealand Maori poetry seems to have absorbed all the world's bullying practices at once. It is known to the world primarily as “the haka of the New Zealand rugby team,” when athletes, during the greeting before the match, line up in a complex figure on the field and begin shouting something loudly in Maori, while at the same time hanging out their tongues, flaring their nostrils and making gestures depicting reprisals against the enemy .

Due to its aggressive presentation, there is a stereotype that the haka is purely a martial ritual designed to intimidate the enemy, but in reality the haka comes in many variations. There is a tragic funeral haka and a lyrical wedding haka, which modern New Zealanders sometimes perform right at the altar and in a veil. Expressive facial expressions and gestures in haka carry a special, metaphorical meaning, which has long been out of place in the context of inter-tribal wars and discord, although it looks very threatening.

Roughly translated, the famous All Blacks haka, after which the New Zealand team wins with a crushing score, looks something like this:

I'm alive!
This hairy man
who brought the sun,
Making it shine.
Step up! Another step up!
Last step up! Then step forward!
Towards the sun that is shining!