Eat soy dog, work like Elon Musk. Readers of "Medusa" altered sayings so as not to offend animals

After PETA called for the removal of animal cruelty idioms from the English language, we asked readers to paraphrase popular Russian sayings about cats, dogs, cows and bears. From hundreds of messages, we have selected 20 of the most harmless (well, almost!) expressions invented by Meduza readers.

❌ Eat the dog in this business

Kiryuha

✅ Eat soy dog ​​in this case

Julia

✅ Raise two dozen puppies in this business

Vladimir

✅ I've taken down a hundred pants in this business!

Igor

✅ Eat sausage in this case (everyone knows that it is from toilet paper)

❌ Pull the cat by the tail

YU

✅ Pull the husband by the beard (husband is not an animal?)

Barry Bardan

✅ Release Half-Life 3

❌ Work like an ox

Albus Dumbledore

✅ Work like a house elf

Nina

✅ Work like Elon Musk

❌ God did not give a horn to a goat cow

Igor

✅ Like a bulldozer without a bucket

Victor Veterinarians

✅ The god of the wind deprived the storm water

❌ Share the skin of an unkilled bear

Sergey

✅ Divide the stars in the sky

Yesenin Anton

✅ Create an instagram for an unborn kitten

Andrey

✅ Share who will wash the clean bear

Archip

✅ Share Lupa's salary while being a Pupa

❌ What is pellet to an elephant

Maria

✅ What is a wrinkle on the ass

TatTat

✅ What is a leaf of a dwarf Karelian birch to an elephant

❌ Grab the cat by the tail

Love B

✅ Grab a boxer by his underpants

❌ A mad dog is seven miles away

Sonya

✅ Travel blogger seven countries is not a hook

❌ If you chase two hares, you won't catch either

Cat

✅ Chasing two hares BOTH YOU CATCH EVERYONE APPLAUDING THE LION COMED HAND SHAKED THE HARES LOOK WITH RESPECT IN THE FOREST

❌ Grab the rose by the thorns

Ivan Kolyma

✅ I, as a plant advocate, propose not to use these expressions either. Why do you advocate the destruction of wonderful plants?! Just shut up and don't ****** [talk] at all!