Family Kidnepping. Divorce without rules

What to do if one of the parents abducted after the child’s divorce?

• Children often become a bargaining coin when parents divorced. Disputes due to determining the place of residence of children often turn into a war without rules.
• In Russian legislation, there is no such thing as "family abduction"; If one of his parents stole the child, he will be practically nothing for him.
• To prevent family kidnepping, experts offer to tighten Russian legislation and create a special service.
• Parents during a divorce should remain people in relation to each other and act, primarily in the interests of the child.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: In 2017, more than 600 thousand divorces accounted for more than a million registered marriages in Russia. There are no accurate data about how many of these families there are children and with which of their parents they remained after the divorce, but there are many stories about how the child becomes a bargaining coin during the divorce of parents. And disputes due to determining the place of residence of children often turn into a war without rules.

Video version of the program

Nadezhda Selyutin: Danila, when can I see my daughters, Angelina and Emilia?

Danila Selyutin: Nadezhda Valerievna, I did not give permission to video. Goodbye!

Correspondent: The answer to this question from his ex -wife Danila Selyutin Nadezhda cannot receive since March 2018. Then, during the next quarrel with her ex -husband, she took her daughters Angelina and Emilia to her mother -in -law.

Nadezhda Selyutin: And when I came to pick them up, I just did not open the door to me. I called my spouse, and he said that he told my mother not to give me the children. When I came home, he planted me at the table, gave me a piece of paper, a pen and said: "Write refused from all the jointly acquired property." I refused to do it.

Correspondent: After this scandal, Nadezhda had to leave home. Attempts to find out where the children are, according to Selyutina, end with threats from her husband.

Nadezhda Selyutin: I will come now and burn your car! And then I will get you, and they will kill you with a racket, understand?

Correspondent: Nadezhda wrote a statement to the police, but the criminal case was refused, referring to the testimony of the lawyer Selyutin Yulia Vitovskaya: "Citizen Selyutin believes that his wife herself makes a mailing house in order to appeal to law enforcement agencies for the possibility of pressure on citizen Solyutin." The incoming threats are denied by another lawyer Danila Selyutin, Pavel Vislok. In a letter of Radio, Freedom, he claims: "To date, Selyutin Danila himself is forced to defend himself from the illegal actions of some persons: surveillance, including with the use of special equipment, threats by telephone and SMS messages, and so on, persons who are interested in this conflict." According to Pavel Vislobok, since March 2018, Nadezhda has not taken any action to see her children. Danila, in turn, repeatedly invited her to organize such a meeting, the lawyer claims. Selyutina denies everything and believes that the actions of her ex -husband are aimed at depriving her of children and jointly acquired property.

Nadezhda Selyutin: My lawyers explain to them that we have a law, there is a civil code, a family code, which states that children under ten years old should live with their mother, that all jointly acquired property is divided in half, but they do not want to hear about it. They live in some of their illusory world.

Correspondent: Selyutin says that the ex -spouse sends such messages about the court.

Nadezhda Selyutin: "You will come out from there without everything you write about, without everything! You will come out of there with a diagnosis."

Correspondent: Nadezhda does not exclude that Selyutin has ties in court.

Nadezhda Selyutin: For some reason, our judge considered it necessary to reject the examination, which is usually carried out in such matters as ours. And she prescribed psychiatric to both - to me and him.

Correspondent: In the meantime, Nadezhda says that he is trying to find his daughters by all means.

Nadezhda Selyutin: My eldest girl, Angelina, seven years old, she had to go to first grade this year, but did not go. I met with the leadership of the school, they said that dad transferred the girl to home schooling so that she would not see her mother.

Correspondent: In the guardianship and police authorities, according to hope, they shrug. Danila Selyutin is a legal representative of children, he is not a criminal, he is a dad.

Under Russian laws, parents have an equal right to communicate with the child

Maryana Torocheshnikova: In Russian legislation, there is no concept of family abduction, so if one of the parents hides a child or blocks access to him, fighting it is extremely difficult. And if the spouses are not officially divorced, the authorities are completely powerless. Under Russian laws, parents have an equal right to communicate with the child, and if the child is with one of the parents and he is not in danger, no one will institute criminal proceedings. What to do when a child abducted one of the parents? We will ask Alexandra Marova, director of the Prevention of Social Orphanage, and Ekaterina Shumyakina, a private detective, co -founder of the public movement "Stop Kidnepping".

Alexandra Marova: In Russian legislation, there really is no such thing as "family abduction." Moreover, one of the parents, if he is not devoid of parental rights and is not limited in rights, at any time he can take the child, take him somewhere, and he will not be anything for it, and the police will simply refuse to deal with this situation, making sure that everything is in order with the child.

Unfortunately, children really become a bargaining coin, and parents do not understand what bomb they put in their own future, when these children grow up and begin to give a reaction to these tragic events in childhood - this is the law of psychology.

In many countries there is a clear algorithm of actions: what to do in such situations. This is also spelled out for us. If you want the child to live legally with you, you sue the court to determine his place of residence. If you win the court, and children in court are obliged to live with you, it is not yet a fact that your ex -spouse will give you these children. Enforcement proceedings are excited, the bailiffs must take a number of steps to execute the court decision, but on the way to this we are faced with hundreds of problems. There is no significant punishment for the fact that a person does not fulfill the court decision in this part, and it is enough to change the territory on which the father and the kidnapped child live, how it all starts first, because another subordinate service begins to work, and all this is delayed for many years. There are cases when mom and year, and five, and seven years do not see her children and cannot do anything about it.

Ekaterina Shumyakina: In other countries, you can shine from five years old for kidnapping your own child and concealing him from the second parent, and we do not have the concept of family kidnepping. And there is no help anywhere. There are exceptional cases in which they help, but there are very few of them. The Investigative Committee on St. Petersburg helped us when returning the child. The linear police department helped when we took off the train with a child with a father who was about to leave the territory of Russia. But in most cases, the police say: this is a civil law relationship, go to court, sue. We show in the video how some people grab their children, beat their mother before their eyes, but do not hold anyone accountable.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: And if at that moment the mother calls the police, they will help her?

Alexandra Marova: Yes, the police can start the search, call his father, the father will bring this child to the station, the police will see: here is the father, here is the child, the child does not threaten anything from his father - and that’s all, they refuse to initiate the case.

Ekaterina Shumyakina: They say: "Understand yourself."

Alexandra Marova: Unfortunately, in our mentality, so far everything related to marital relations is the level of family and living showdowns that no one wants to get into. Law enforcement agencies have many different routes and fluids, it is necessary to investigate the murders, theft, robberies, and then someone else calls: "My ex-husband took the child and does not give up for a whole weekend."

Maryana Torocheshnikova: But there are organs that are directly authorized to deal with these issues and intervene: these are guardianship authorities. They must find out how the child lives, in what situation he is.

Alexandra Marova: The guardianship authorities are also guided by clear norms, the same family code, and the child can be with any parent. If the guardianship authority, suppose, takes the child from the father who had abducted him and returns the mother, then the father can submit to the Investigative Committee, and the prosecutor’s office, and to court, and he will win the process. In other countries, if the mother has a court decision in her arms that the child should live with her, and the father is determined by a clear procedure for communication, and if his father violates him, the police immediately intervene in this. Unfortunately, we do not have this.

Correspondent: Larisa Kopieva for ten months did not see her five -year -old son. She says that the former civil husband took the child from the kindergarten and did not return it anymore. Every day, Larisa goes to the apartment to the father of the child, but, according to her, the door is not opened to her. The father of the five -year -old Stas, Vadim Filippov, refused comments, but said that he did not interfere with his mother with her child.

Larisa Kopieva: He excluded any contacts. I turn to children's ombudsmen at the level of the Moscow region, and at the level of the Russian Federation, and to the Commissioner for Human Rights. With the legislation that is now in our country, no one can help.

Correspondent: Elena Gershman did not see a four -year -old daughter for almost a year and does not know where she is. In December 2017, the court determined that the child should live with his mother. According to Elena, immediately after that, her ex -husband Oleg Gershman disappeared with her daughter. Now the child is on the federal wanted list. The Investigative Committee opened a criminal case under the article "Murder of a young".

Elena Gershman: Of course, for me, as for my mother, this is the most terrible thing I can hear in my life.

Correspondent: The ex -husband of Elena is wanted by bailiffs for a large debt on alimony and for non -fulfillment of the court’s decision on the transfer of the child to the mother. Stories when one of the former spouses hides a child, hundreds. The fathers and mothers who were illegally deprived of the opportunity to communicate with children were united in the "Stop Kidnepping" community.

Bailiffs often refer to the fact that they cannot execute the court decision, since the child himself refuses to go to the second parent

Maryana Torocheshnikova: According to Russian laws, when the court decision is not executed voluntarily, the case goes to the bailiffs. Moreover, there is no special unit responsible for working with children, as well as there are no clear mechanisms for such cases. And bailiffs often refer to the fact that they cannot execute the court decision, since the child himself refuses to go to the second parent.

Ekaterina Shumyakina: But the bailiffs in this case should still take the child.

Alexandra Marova: When the child lives with one parent for a long time, he does everything so that the child has a persistent negative feeling in relation to another. Therefore, the child refuses to go to him, and the case is closed.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: Nevertheless, sometimes the bailiffs take a psychologist with them.

Alexandra Marova: Everything is very dependent on the bailiffs. They can attract, guardianship authorities, psychologists, and if it is a coordinated team of specialists, they achieve contact with the child. We recently had a writ of execution against a mother who did not see a daughter for six months. The girl was very tuned against her mother, but to break this connection - mother and child - very difficult. They ask the girl: "Who do you want to live with?" - "I want to live ..." - and practically calls the address, which is not characteristic of a five -year -old child. "Do you want to go to mom?" - "No, I do not want" - but at the same time the face is turned to the mother, and the hands to her are extended. But as soon as she turns and sees her father's gaze, immediately a step back. And everyone understands that something is wrong here. And then it was possible to write that the girl did not want to go to her mother, and close the work, but it was possible to do what was done. The father was taken away, they left the girl alone with her mother, and five minutes were enough for her to hug her mother, grabbed her. "Will you go to mom?" - "Dad will punish me." - "And if we do not say dad, and we go to your mother in secrets?" - "Yes, then I'll go." Everything became obvious to everyone, and the girl was given to the mother.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: This is indifference.

Alexandra Marova: Yes, and an informal approach to his duties. And this is a corruption hole, which is very easy to use-to pay some bailiff so that he will write that the child does not want to go to his mother. But it shouldn't be so.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: Here is a couple who has children, decided to divorce. They could not agree among themselves. In any case, the court will make a decision on the place of residence of the child?

Ekaterina Shumyakina: If they agreed on a amicable agreement and execute it, then they do not need to go to court. But if they cannot agree, then you need to go to court, in accordance with the 66th article of the Family Code, with the involvement of guardianship and trusteeship bodies, and the court will decide with whom the child will live.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: What are the courts guided by when such decisions make?

Alexandra Marova: First of all, with the 6th article of the UN resolution, which says that a small child (up to ten years old) should not be separated from his mother, if there is no exceptional circumstances (that is, the mother is not an alcoholic, not a drug addict, does not lead an asocial lifestyle). This is almost a global practice. In most cases, the courts are sided with the mothers, they do not look who has a higher earnings or cooler work.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: And if a child is older than ten years old?

Alexandra Marova: Then they ask his opinion. A forensic examination may be appointed, which establishes the attachment, relationships of the child with one and the other parent.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: Does the court oblige her mother to allow her ex -wife to see her children?

Alexandra Marova: If the statement of claim contains such a requirement, then yes. If not, then the court has the right not to do this.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: And the woman with whom the child remained can arbitrarily set the time of communication?

Ekaterina Shumyakina: In fact - yes.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: Fathers lose here.

Alexandra Marova: They lose, even if the court establishes the procedure for communication, because it is not a fact that a woman will fulfill it.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: And they begin to steal children when there is no way to meet with them?

Alexandra Marova: This is absolutely not necessary. Most often, this is some kind of story associated with the revenge of the ex-wife for daring to leave, terminate the relationship, be independent and independent.

Ekaterina Shumyakina: Some do not want to pay child support, so they take away children to pay child support to her husband.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: Can a diluted parent legally influence his ex -spouse or spouse and oblige them to organize meetings with a child?

Ekaterina Shumyakina: It all depends on how parents love their child and act in his interests. The child should have both mom and dad, no one has the right to deprive him of his parents. And in this case, parents violate the right to a child to communicate with two parents.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: Here the court determined the place of residence, and the other parent wants to meet his child. What can he do, acting within the framework of the law, so that he is not interfered with?

Ekaterina Shumyakina: A complex of services should work here, but it does not work.

Alexandra Marova: The bailiffs should leave and ask your mother: "Why don't you let your father communicate with a child on Wednesdays and Fridays, as established by the court?" Dad can contact the commission on minors with a request to bring mom to administrative responsibility.

Maryana Torocheshnikova: But the parent can be forced to execute the court decision?

Alexandra Marova: Directly - no.

Ekaterina Shumyakina: We have no such mechanism in Russia.

Alexandra Marova: We have an administrative code, article 5.35, part 2 and 3-they suggest a fine of a thousand to two thousand rubles, and the maximum-15 days of administrative arrest. This punishment can be assigned to the parent if he prevents the child to communicate with other persons with whom he is supposed to communicate. But what is a thousand or two thousand? You can pay them and continue not to let them communicate. And to plant for 15 days - we still do not have such law enforcement practice.

Ekaterina Shumyakina: We made the initiative to tighten the legislation precisely in the Criminal Code. If the parent knows that he is facing a criminal punishment for the abduction of his own child and obstructing his communication with the second parent, maybe he simply will not do this.

Alexandra Marova: few people want to have a criminal article.

Марьяна Торочешникова: Бывают куда более тяжелые ситуации с похищением людей: например, когда один из бывших супругов является гражданином другой страны.

Александра Марова: Взять и увезти ребенка – это не самая простая история. По идее, как только бывший супруг забирает у тебя ребенка, ты сразу должен поставить ему запрет на выезд из страны, и его не пропустят ни на какой таможне. Но у нас есть "серая" зона – Белоруссия, в меньшей степени – Казахстан, через которые у нас все благополучно отчаливают в Европу.

Марьяна Торочешникова: На Северном Кавказе нередки ситуации, когда детей после развода родителей или смерти отца передают от матери родственникам бывшего мужа (неофициально, без судебных решений). И мать часто годами не может увидеть своих детей. Эту ситуацию можно каким-то образом разрешить в рамках действующего в России законодательства?

Екатерина Шумякина: На территории Кавказского региона официально действуют те же российские законы, но Кавказ – это совсем другой мир со своими обычаями. У нас есть мама из Ингушетии, детей у нее забрали, когда мальчику было пять лет, а девочке полтора года, она даже еще была на грудном вскармливании. И девочку мы смогли вернуть, когда ей было уже пять лет. Забирали с боем, но у ребенка уже были вши, проблемы с опорно-двигательным аппаратом, лишний вес, девочка не знала, что есть Дед Мороз, елка, пластилин, платья…

Марьяна Торочешникова: А почему понадобилось так много времени, чтобы забрать ее, причем даже не у отца?

Екатерина Шумякина: А отца даже не было. Девочку и мальчика привезли в Службу судебных приставов дядя, сотрудник полиции, и друг папы, который тоже работает в полиции. Мальчик к нам не пошел, потому что уже был так настроен, считал, что его мама русская и к ней идти нельзя, запрещено. А с девочкой порядка пяти часов общалась мама, общались психологи, и как только мама смогла взять ее на руки, она вышла, мы окружили ее плотным кольцом и побежали. Девочка сейчас очень изменилась, похудела, мама следит за питанием, ей вывели вшей, она занимается танцами, лошадьми.

Александра Марова: В каждом втором случае, когда папа забирает ребенка у мамы, он фактически не живет с этим ребенком, отдает его своей матери.

Екатерина Шумякина: Забирает, чтобы просто сделать больно бывшей жене, отобрать имущество. Но у нас есть история, когда отец забрал ребенка, а жена заблокировала ему все счета, и ему пришлось идти с ней на переговоры.

По действующему законодательству бабушка и дедушка не являются законными представителями ребенка

Александра Марова: По действующему законодательству бабушка и дедушка не являются законными представителями ребенка. У ребенка всего два законных представителя – мать и отец. То, что ребенок постоянно проживает с бабушкой, это вообще нарушение его прав и прямая дорожка к тому, чтобы туда зашли органы опеки и поинтересовались, где законные представители ребенка. Но это очень сложно доказать, родственники обычно в сговоре.

Екатерина Шумякина: Нужно ужесточить ряд статей Уголовного, Гражданского, Семейного, Административного кодексов, расширить полномочия судебных приставов, снять нагрузку с сотрудников полиции, создать отдельную службу, которая будет этим заниматься.

Марьяна Торочешникова: А есть какой-то законопроект по этому поводу?

Александра Марова: Конечно, и не один!

Екатерина Шумякина: В апреле прошел круглый стол, где были озвучены все наши предложения, и до сих пор они проходят какие-то согласования в Общественной палате. Мы или дождемся от Общественной палаты какого-то документа, или подготовим свой. Нас поддерживают депутаты от различных партий, в том числе – "Единая Россия", ЛДПР, КПРФ, – мы объединили их по этому поводу.

Марьяна Торочешникова: А пока нет специального законодательства, что можно порекомендовать родителям, которые находятся в конфликте из-за детей?

Екатерина Шумякина: Первое: нужно оставаться людьми. Второе: нужно действовать исходя из интересов ребенка. Есть исключительные обстоятельства, когда родитель – наркоман, запойный алкоголик или страдает психическим заболеванием. Если нет, если оба родителя вменяемые, адекватные, они должны договориться, и у них должно быть уважение друг к другу, но самое главное – они должны думать о своем ребенке. Надо исходить из того, что ребенок любит обоих родителей.

Марьяна Торочешникова: А если не удалось остаться людьми, можно минимизировать риски?

Екатерина Шумякина: Нет.

Александра Марова: Стучитесь во все двери, во все эти органы, которые должны в этом хоть участвовать. Просто не сдавайтесь. Выигрывают в результате те, кто не опускает руки.