"Close are asked to quit this work"

Hospital nannies in the “I want pens” program are very close to heart with the stories of their temporary wards. Psychologist Polina Nykova helps them not to burn out

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"Shock! I did not think that it would be so difficult to look at the baby and think what else he had to ... ”

"I feel that I want Vanyushka inwardly not to be written out ..."

“A week later, I realized that I could not leave, Arishka and I are carefully preparing to part, hug, sing, but in the end she climbs to my knees and clings tightly, how to tear it off?”

“Six months later, I started to cry in the program, I keep in the hospital, and at home, on the street of the roar without stopping. Close and friends ask to quit this job ... "

The hospital nannies of the Happy Children Foundation regularly write what worries them in the process of work. It is very difficult to lie with an abandoned baby in the hospital when he is most vulnerable and bad. Write down your thoughts, it is easier to realize the problem and seek help in time.

The nannies from the “Happy Children” Foundation program care about the pupils of neuropsychiatric boarding schools and orphanages of the Krasnoyarsk Territory, who were put to the hospital - some for the survey, others for an operation, others with an infectious disease. Usually with children up to four years old are mothers. With mom calmly. And when scary, she will always take on the handles. But who cares you if you are an orphan? If you were brought to the operation and left alone? Such kids lie in the crib and watch how they play with other children. And here sick nannies appear - to take the kids to the arms, whom no one has ever consoled.

Polina Neskova photo: Alexander Kuptsov for TD

But the moment comes when such nannies themselves need help, most often psychological. After all, they are living people, tied to the kids, and they take them back into orphanages and boarding schools. This is done by the psychologist of the Happy Children Foundation Polina Nykova.

- Why do women come to the program “I want to be on pens”?

- A nanny is a employed employee with an employment contract and a salary, since the activity is very responsible, takes a lot of effort and time. The motive of earnings also takes place. Suppose that the current work does not like, since it is in no way connected with communication with people, and there is internal resources for this and I would like to use them. This is a good option. Sometimes this is such a spiritual response that children need help, and I have time and I am ready to include it. Often, nannies come with burning eyes, in which there is a lot of unspent love, the maternal instinct that wants to be realized. Or an option when their children did not happen, and communicating with a child, I want to include in his life. All these options are also good.

- How do you understand that a person drives not just a variant of earnings, but a desire to give?

- When this story is only about the fact that additional earnings are needed, or a person, in principle, cannot decide on work, this is always visible. I participate in the nanny selection procedure. Initially, all nannies communicate with the curator, discuss the general points related to employment, features of life, and psychological testing undergoes. Then I study this testing and make an appointment with a nanny.

-Is it possible that at this stage someone is eliminated?

- Very rarely. With the help of testing, we pass by wide rakes in the human psyche, so that he himself answered himself to the question of what he came here.

- How often do candidates have to refuse and why?

The room in which Polina Nytkova Photo works: Alexander Kuptsov for TD

- One of the main tasks of selection is to see if a person has relevant experiences that can negatively affect his work. This is a bell that is an open, unhurried psycho -trauma. So, it will be difficult to help another. For example, the recent loss of her child, when a woman comes with tears in her eyes and she needs a child more than she can give him. In this case, the candidate will be refused.

-Are there any stories that can help a person in working with children?

- In general, everyone who comes to charity has their own story. Sometimes this is due to difficult relationships with parents, with their children. But it all depends on how complete these injuries are. If so, then these are healthy options: I had difficulties, I coped with them and received a specific experience that I can and want to share.

- What problems do you have to solve most often?

- Emotional burnout. When a person, like a snowball, accumulated various situations with which it was difficult for him to cope, and at some point his internal resource was exhausted. This is relevant for all helping professions. This is especially evident by doctors. When they begin to treat a person as a set of symptoms and do not treat him, but these symptoms. In the nanny, this is expressed in the fact that she perceives the child not as a little man who needs help, but as a set of difficulties.

- How can a person recognize emotional burnout?

-You are tired at the very beginning of the day, the work is either not interested in at all, or is perceived as a duty when it is not possible to relax at all, sleep in the amount that was enough before, is not enough, some methods of relaxation and relaxation that used to work before do not work. Here are the brightest bells that emotional burnout either has already happened, or it is somewhere nearby.

-What to do with it, are there any general advice?

Polina Neskova photo: Alexander Kuptsov for TD

- Any psychological situation is individual. At least with all we are looking for ways to replenish resources. New options for how we spend the energy that we spend on work and come from. If it is metaphorical, in each of us there is an inner child who constantly wants something, such an unconditional life energy. She hits the key in very young children. But when a person grows up, he hides this inner child deep in himself. So that he forgets about him. But he will not go anywhere, because it is a base for our energy. And if it happens that we do not respond to his desires, he will get drunk. And with it, our internal energy. Each of us has our own ways to release this inner child: someone is engaged in dancing, yoga, spiritual practices, someone plays classics. Sometimes the simplest and most frivolous activity gives a lot. One of the options is.

- And what about attachment?

- The nanny is not for a long time with the child, so there should not be such attachment as, for example, to his own child. But we are all people, and this is completely impossible to exclude. Yes, sometimes it can cost mental strength and add a certain imbalance to the work. But in general, attachment is good. It is good that the child at least briefly feels that next to him is a sympathetic adult who will solve all his difficulties. The main thing for the nanny is to try to correctly build the boundaries of the relationship, so as not to harm either the child or to yourself.

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The program "I want to handle" Happy Children Foundation exists exclusively for your donations. Any feasible amount, even 50 or 100 rubles, will help to continue to pay for the work of nannies caring for orphans from orphanages and boarding schools in the Krasnoyarsk Territory. Their work is very hard, especially emotionally. But they give a drop of heat to those who are so deprived of them.