Where you can say

There should have been a text about the small success of the mother of two children, which is helped by the charity fund. But while the article was written, the life of the heroine made a sharp turn. And the moral of history has changed: the main thing for everyone is to know what to seize in order not to fall in case of sudden changes

Helping a warm house help

Vika is laconic. When she answers the question, I want to shake her a little so that there are even more words. But this is wrong to shake Vika. Shocks in her life are enough without it.

- Your parents died when you were twelve ...

“Ten,” she corrects quickly. - I was ten.

- How did it happen? - I feel like a Gestapo.

- Can I not talk about it? I don't want to be honest. Sorry, ”she says quickly, smiling guiltily.

A little later he recalls what happened later.

- After the death of my parents, I lived with my grandmother, my father’s father. But my grandfather was sick, it was hard for her, she gave me to the orphanage. When the parents were gone, she did not tell anyone at school. Classmates always thought that I had mom and dad. I said they left. In general, she didn’t tell anyone, she was shy that not like everyone else. Klin was in my head.

Maybe the same wedge makes her not talk about the circumstances of her life today. Outwardly calm and restrained, Vika recalls something about his past-and speaks little about himself, almost nothing-about his fears and hopes. Such a conversation is trust. And trust is vulnerability. Vika cannot afford to be vulnerable. There is no one to protect her.

Torn

Vika remembers the first day in the orphanage well: “I had a lot of sweets, but they took them right away. The girls are senior. We must defend myself - I immediately understood this how the sweets were taken from me. And a year later she was the eldest on the floor. I obeyed me. "

Her orphanage is associated with a concentration camp where she managed to survive

With a kind word, it commits educators and teachers who supported and helped. But about himself, the orphanage says: "Turn off." “I talked with a bad company. I tried everything. But she quickly understood that I did not need any of the tried. ” Vika talks about this very calmly - this is all a long time ago. Now she is not at all like a tear - sad eyes, a feeling of great fatigue. She is proud of her class from the orphanage, says that most from her release are cool guys, almost everyone could find their place in life.

And Vika? Outwardly it seems - yes. She is married. She has two children, a boy and a boy, eight years old and two years old. She received higher education, her specialty is associated with civil service. She lives in a separate apartment, which she bought instead of a room in a communal apartment left from her parents, adding maternity capital. She is interested in social work and the education of difficult teenagers - she understands them, knows why they behave as they behave. Live and rejoice, right?

No.

We get acquainted with Vika and talk in the Family Center of the St. Petersburg Charity Foundation "Warm House", where they help families in difficult life situations. She came here for help a little over a year ago, completely desperate - the former orphanage teacher, whom Vika called as the only person who could give her advice, advised her to turn to the fund.

“I had psychoses,” she explains unsophisticated, not referring to the medical component of the word, but the difficult condition in which she was after her husband was imprisoned for the second time.

Vika speaks of her husband, pauses and lowering his voice. She clearly does not want to talk about him. They met when Vika worked as a waitress in a bar. This was while studying at college, after graduation from the orphanage. “He liked me, he began to come again and again. Gifts gave. They began to live. At first everything was great, good, together. Then it changed. ” It changed after the birth of the eldest son. “He was young, he wanted to walk. He wanted to have fun, but on the contrary, to sit at home, he helped me, I and my child. Cursed. I did not know at all what he was living, he did not say - he left, came, brought money, and that’s it. ”

The first imprisonment opened Vika's eyes on what her husband lives. And what it earns. She was painfully ashamed - but he left prison, returned and promised to tie it. She believed. The second son was born. And then the husband sat down again. It turned out that he is not a lonely “criminal element”, he has “colleagues”, an organized group that is engaged in abduction of people, threats, extortion. She found out about this at the trial.

Vika left her husband, according to her, "twenty -five times." The first time the eldest son was still small. Then she lived in a crisis center and began to study at a university in absentia.

Why was it returning? Because he begged, promised that he would never again. True, promises have always been enough for a maximum of a week.

The husband spent two years in a pre -trial detention center, he was shining for about ten years

Vika asked him not to write and not to call, to leave her alone. At the same time, Vika was very scary - she was alone with two children, the youngest was not a year. “I was afraid that I would not raise the children, that I would have nothing to feed them,” she says. - I could not go to work, I felt like in a tunnel. I had thoughts about suicide. Not that I was thinking seriously on this, but I thought that maybe ... it would be easier. Hands dropped. "

Then she came to the "warm house". Vika needed both psychological assistance and material - food, duffel, which is also provided in the charity fund. And they helped her.

Place of power

I learn about these circumstances of the Vikin life during a conversation with her in early January. She is enthusiastic: after the New Year holidays, she was waiting for her at the new workplace, which was found for her by the employees of the "warm house". Vika hoped that she would be easier.

She talked about what she dreams of sending her sons to a military school. Vika seems that the military are very worthy people: "They are taught to treat women with respect, the military will never raise a hand on a woman."

Vika said that in the "warm house" she realized: the main thing is to move forward. “In general, you can’t sit still. You can’t get hung up in your situation. Whatever it is, you must always go forward. ” I thanked social workers and psychologists who work with her. And she spoke about this much more willingly than about her whole life.

The Teply House charity fund has been working in St. Petersburg for 12 years. Vika went to group and individual meetings of the second wind. This project of the “warm house” was opened for mothers with babies who have no one to help. Employees of the Fund believe that the earlier the woman with the newborn will be provided, the more chances that the family is getting stronger will get on their feet. “It often happens with us that my mother comes and asks:“ Where can I give me a child? I can’t cope, I am a bad mother, he will be better in an orphanage. ” And our task is to make my mother believe that she is a good mother, the best mother to her child. So that from fatigue and apathy, hopelessness and feelings of guilt, she saw not a source of problems, but a source of strength and joy. ”

However, a couple of weeks after our conversation with Vika, her husband returned home - suddenly he left the pre -trial detention center, he was released after the appeal. And everything has changed dramatically.

"He threatened her to take the children if she does not live by his rules"

“He forbade going to work - he was jealous to the boss, who sent her SMS with a working issue. Reads her correspondence in messengers and controls every step. Vika is very depressed, she is scared, ”the staff of the Warm House Foundation tell.

The only thing that is allowed by Vika is visits to a “warm house” once a week. They know a lot of such stories - when a wife cannot leave her husband, because he is afraid of him because it depends on him, because she has nowhere to go. Now Vika is constantly in touch with the psychologist of the organization, who supports her in all possible ways. The “warm house” is now deciding how now you can help her and her children.

The program "Second Binding" helps to take a spirit to the mothers of small children who remained with life difficulties alone. Many women have already helped here. Vika also helped when she was left without money, without work, without support, with two children in her arms. However, life turned out differently, circumstances destroyed everything that Vika managed to achieve with the staff of the “warm house”. Now they are very worried about her fate. For her life. And they come up with ways to get out of the situation. But now Vika is at least not one. She knows that somewhere there are people who are not indifferent to she and her children, who will probably be able to get her out of this horror.

In the meantime, the “warm house” itself needs our support with you - money needs money to pay for the work of psychologists and social workers. Let's help and we will hope that the story of Vika will end well.