Belief cabinet

Today, the family of Vera and Sasha looks like all happy families similar to each other. But two years ago, when they adopted five sisters, the house literally shook from screams and scandals

Help find a family to help

Three and a half years ago, Vera and Sasha decided to become foster parents - they wanted to take a little girl under guardianship. “In the classroom at the school of foster parents, I once said:“ May they not give little, we are old, ”I was 45 years old,” Vera laughs, recalling. - And here one woman seriously remarked: “There are two girls - one three years, and the other 13.” And we are Sasha: “We take it!” After classes, I come to her: “What a girl, tell me!” And she replies: “Actually, there are five of them there ...” ”

One for a million

“What is the number today? - Vera clarifies. “Oh, today is exactly two and a half years, as we took the crumbs.” “Brokes” are five blonde sisters, the eldest of which is now 17 and the youngest is five. The girls were taken from a blood family several times, then returned back. And two and a half years ago they completely seized and settled in the Darina rehabilitation center. The chance that they could get into one foster family together, was one by a million, said Tatyana Drobyshevskaya, director of the Support Support Center “Find a family”.

Vika and Olya in her room photo: Maria Gelman for TD

Vera and Sasha got married 14 years ago, both of them grew up sons from his first marriage. “I looked at Fedya, Sasha’s son, and thought that I was doing his life better,” says Vera. - Then the thought of taking another child occurred to me. Sasha offered to give birth, but I had no time: I worked as a fitness trainer and did not know how I would miss the training season. ”

Sasha really doubted: he was worried that he would not be able to love the adopted child. But over time, when the children grew up and it became clear that Vera would no longer give birth, he accepted this idea. In the classroom at the school of foster parents, they learned about the sisters, but the fact that five could be given to the family with difficulty.

Vika photo: Maria Gelman for TD

“But the eldest, Katya, was actually the mother of the youngest, Vicki, and they could not be separated,” says Vera. - More twins Zoya and Zhenya. And Olya. How to share them? And they decided that we would take five. Everyone consulted with each other in custody, conducted a lot of consultations, seven psychologists worked with us. ”

Vera recalls that they were warned in guardianship: in six months they will crawl out of burnt. "But we did not crawl." Although the problems began immediately.

Bags with garbage

One of the twins, Zoya, was panicky afraid of people and refused to leave the house. Katya “gave her sister”-she was for so much time for the eldest, and now she herself should obey someone. “The eldest, Katya, was for girls as a second mother, she was responsible for them,” says Tatyana Drobyshevskaya. -For her, it was a problem to release the sisters, she could say something in the directive tone, to rude. I then worked with faith: I spoke with her, relieves stress, explained that it was a teenager. ”

Now Vera is sure that love and acceptance have come immediately. But psychologists from the Center “Find a family” who literally led this family by the hand, they remember differently. “I can say as a foster mother: at some point you are standing over the abyss and do not know what to do next, and then time passes and no longer seems that everything was terrible,” says Tatyana Drobyshevskaya. “But now the relationship has been stabilized, and Vera looks like a flowering mother of five blondes.”

Sisters play on the street photo: Maria Gelman for TD Sisters play on the street photo: Maria Gelman for TD Sisters play on the street photo: Maria Gelman for TD

But Vera remembers the first day with girls very well. “Then we had a car broken, and we drove from Darina by bus. There were a lot of bags with them, and two more of our suitcases scored. And when the crops were opened at home, it turned out that there was garbage in half - the hostess, apparently, cleaned up and put at the entrance. And the girls grabbed, leaving, - they were probably worried. "

Garbage from the past life of girls did not let go for a long time. On the third day, Zoya arranged a tantrum - she just did not cry, but screamed. Then she fell into such a state more than once: she was thin and small, but managed to anger to pierce the door with a fist. “Psychologists say that children accumulate tension, and then they remove it like that,” Vera explains. - At Zoe it lasted a year and a half. And recently I told her: “Zoya, did you notice that there was no longer a week?”

Children unload the dishwasher photo: Maria Gelman for TD

Tatyana Drobyshevskaya says that the defectologist of their center worked a lot with Zhenya and Olya: Olya spoke poorly at five years old, and Zhenya remained in the second year in the first grade, and she was recommended to study at a correctional school. “The eldest, Katya, bright brains, but against the backdrop of adaptation there were problems with the school - she did not study, skipped.”

As a result, all the girls in the family are at home school. Vika, who only should go to first grade, will also study the school curriculum of the house. “Our crumbs - Saved, trained, but for each for various reasons you need an individual approach, ”Vera explains.

When Vera increased work, the whole system, already shaky, began to break. Most of all his mother was caught by a mess in the house and a lack of time. “Yes, I still shout,” she admits, “but I think this is a variant of the norm. And then I try to discuss everything. ”

Subscription to Mariinka

A few days before the arrival of the girls, Vera and Sasha “sank all their savings” on clothes, beds, two wardrobes, four chests of drawers and mattresses. Friends and acquaintances helped with things and toys. “We did not know how much money they paid for children, counted on ourselves. The Key Foundation provided a subsidy for a large dining table with chairs and a dishwasher. My colleagues brought things. We had a wardrobe named after Vera at work. The employees shouted to me: “Go, scoop up, nothing is climbing there anymore!” I never returned home empty -handed. ”

During lunch photo: Maria Gelman for TD

True, the subsidy from the fund and a large house for rent (it was also provided by the Key Foundation) a little later, and at first the children came to the old, not so roomy house of Vera and Sasha. “On the first night, we slept on mattresses in the attic, and the most cool sleeping place below was given to Katya. Vika was spinning, and I did not sleep all night. The next day, the sons arrived, Skoda, - they decided to see what we started. The girls hid. "

Today, a schedule of girls' classes hangs on the wall in the kitchen. Without such a table, the life of the family would simply collapse: to keep in memory who, on what day and what time should be led to the circus, basketball, in the artistic school, for gymnastics or English, is simply impossible.

Sisters play at home after walking photo: Maria Gelman for TD Dad with Zoe photo: Maria Gelman for TD Vika runs to his room photo: Maria Gelman for TD

Vika is approaching faith: asks to help install an application for an independent study of English on the phone. Vika is a smart girl, but she will not go to school, like her sisters .

“I would like to give them a lot, ” Vera argues. - I would like, for example, to buy a family subscription to the Mariinsky Theater, but it costs about 87 thousand for all. So far. Maybe when we get rich. ”

Dresses for granddaughters

Children got used to the adoptive parents gradually: at first they called them “Aunt Vera” and “Uncle Sasha”. “I do not claim to be“ mother ”, if only it was normal for them,” says Vera. “But then they began to call us“ Vera ”and“ Sasha ”, and about six months later - mom and dad.” The family already has their own traditions: “Beautiful Saturday”-when they all go to the fitness center together, in the evenings they watch films on the bed. And faith with Sasha themselves sew dresses for girls for the New Year. This year, for example, they had outfits of cards queens, and in the past - princesses dresses.

“It was the very first New Year, I sewed dresses,” says Vera. - The sons then arrived. I remember sitting on the steps of the stairs, I look at everything from above: Christmas trees, lights, beautiful kids, Sinatra plays, Kostya and Katya are cooking something. Magically. And suddenly I think: “In the end, it’s not so good. Firstly, I’m fat, and secondly, there is not enough money ...” I had to think about the fact that I have bad, because all this was like a gingerbread house. ”

Zoya after walking photo: Maria Gelman for TD

These dresses became small girls, but they did not give them out, but carefully hung them in the closet - they told Vera that they would store them for their daughters. Who knows, maybe they will come in handy earlier: Vera says that he and Sasha want to take another small child.

All these two and a half years, the family of Vera and Sasha, help the center for support for foster families in the Leningrad Region “Find a family” and its director Tatyana Drobyshevskaya: consult, provide psychological assistance, hold meetings with foster parents. Such help is invaluable, because with the children who fall into the family, not always everything is formed like Vera with Sasha. Reception parents need advice, participation, confirmation that they do everything right. In a word, they need people nearby who will help to deal with fears and difficulties. And the center, in turn, needs our support. Please donate 100, 200 or 500 rubles to the work of the support center for foster families in the Leningrad Region “Find a family” so that children without parents in Russia become smaller.