How I was a parasite

Around the children from wealthy families, a flock of friends will always go, who are not averse to sharing some of the hardships of a beautiful life with the rich. The reader of Samizdat Taras Shira became one of these parasites and for several years observed the history of the fall of one Chelyabinsk major. Dear restaurants, their own hemp plantation and endless horror in front of the father-businessman-in the new same story.

Do you know how children from wealthy families differ from ordinary children? Simple guys note their successes, and the rich - the successes of their parents. “My father closed the deal,” Andrei said. So, today we were waiting for a bar, a tweezer and a lot of whiskey with a coal. At first I was embarrassed, and I tried to insert somewhere and my crumpled hundred-ruffles, but Andrei was theatrically offended, and I reached for the wallet less and less. Max and I became a fish-sprayed fish.

At that time, after studying at college, Max and I were killed in the gym, and in the evening we drank beer. We were sixteen, and we grew without fathers. My dad once congratulated me on my birthday, and Max's father had long scored on this formality. His mother has not worked for a year due to the reduction, my mother crossed for a part-time and sat with her grandmother who had a stroke.

Andrei grew up in a full family, listened to rock, wore a mane and a T -shirt with metalla. We did not really complain such guys. "Govnari" what to take from them. But the "shit-master"-it was at least unusual. At the beginning of the tenths, in our city the courtyard was popular, in which everyone was hanging out - from gopniks and marginals to guitarists and rockers. There we met, and at first I did not understand what he found in us. Andrei was the son of rich parents and traveled to the black coat. In addition, he was four years older than us - a colossal difference for that age.

How I knocked out money from debtors Taras Shira , Konstantin Valyakin , Lena Gordeeva Naked witnesses, total poverty and knife to the side for one and a half thousand rubles - the very story of the reader of samizdat, who worked as a collector in ZhEK

He did not consider money and could afford to be stuck in an expensive booze in a supermarket or go to a restaurant in the evening. Once he called us with him. We sat with sports bags, breathed noisily after training and leafed through the menu. The waiters scurried around in vests, and beautiful girls in evening dresses restrainedly laughed at neighboring tables. Andrei sat, throwing his foot on his foot, and casually leafed through the menu. It was one of the most expensive places in Chelyabinsk.

When I was little, I promised my mother that I would never try drugs and I would not contact a bad company. It was hard to imagine that I myself would become such a company.

Their people

Maybe you noticed that many rich neurasthenic papenkin sons have all friends-tramps or some kind of muddy types? Why talk about their successes to the same wealthy peers when there are guys from the middle class who will always say “wow!” And "wow!" On your stories about how you “merged 30 oblique” over the weekend?

Such friendship is always built on a barter: the rich needs listeners for their stories. Ears are all that we had. Therefore, we admired the stories about his father’s business, ate a free Caesar and frowned, washing the expensive cognac Kologi.

Andrei's father was a big man. I saw him only a couple of times, mainly from the back: a massive nape with fat folds, low growth, wide shoulders. I don’t even know who his thin son went to.

Such friendship is always built on a barter: the rich needs listeners for their stories

After one of the gatherings in the bar, we went to Andrei to the cottage. It was a summer evening, and he first treated us with grass, which I had not tried before. Soon we began to spend almost every summer day there - we settled on his phase and drank beer, smoked and fluttered about life.

On one of these days when Max was chopped off on the couch, Andrei poked me in the side:

-Let's go show something.

We went up to the second floor of his phasends, walked along the corridor, and Andrei opened an inconspicuous door. “Something” was a small room like a pantry with an attic. She was all laid down by pots and some lamps.

His father smiled from the wall calendar. Catching my gaze and smiling, too, Andrei brought a finger to his lips:

- No one has a word!

Andrei walked along the tubs, examined every leaf of hemp and carefully sprayed him from the spray gun. I finally understood why in his trunk there were always bags of fertilizers. The family did not have a garden.

Frankly, I did not expect to see this.

- Do you know that this is a bad time? And what will happen if someone finds it?
- Do not croak!

For some reason, I felt funny from the sight of this agricultural complex and smiling from my father’s wall. I laughed.

Andrey was offended.

Here was the text of Anastasia Sadovskaya , Semyon Sheshenin , Anna Makarova published a text on the legalization of medical marijuana in Russia, but he was deleted at the request of Roskomnadzor in January 2022

I - you - you to me

Andrei’s father constantly gave expensive cognacs, which Andrei took himself. In his buffet, I discovered a number of unstable dusting bottles.

-This is Armenian and some other fuck. Like tequila. I don't drink that.

On the same day, I returned home with a package, to the eyeballs full of alcohol. Max refused, and I took everything to myself. Very soon, a hooch, several bottles of spirits from the “golden apple”, delicacies from the “theorem” (this is something like “ABC of taste”) and dear cigars of the father, migrated to my house. And a month later, I had brand new bar chairs and a fashionable floor lamp. They did not stand with Andrei and a couple of weeks - the color was arranged.

“Today I am to you, tomorrow - you,” he said, while I took out my new furniture from his trunk.

Oddly enough, parental money did not help Andrei become popular. With the girls he behaved constrained, and dressed like a 17-year-old rocker. T -shirt with Kish, holes jeans - that’s his entire wardrobe. But I, in a shirt and with my teeth bleached through the discount coupon, always looked advantageous next to him.

In turn, I became a "major" for my friends from the rocking chair who came to my house after training. They drank tea, ate low -fat cottage cheese and looked at my bottles and bar chairs, which now stood in a prominent place.

I have not heard about self -esteem then. I was always taught: “Give me - take it. Then it can end. ” Well, I took it.

How I became Ethyl Vorotila Taras Shira , Semyon Sheshenin , Malika Saidov, the reader Samizdat tells how he got a loader at the warehouse of pale vodka and almost founded his own alcohimperia in the New Year's Chelyabinsk

Father and son

Andrei lived separately from his parents, but sometimes his father called him and said: "Lean your sleeper."

Andrei immediately hastily explained to us that the “family” would come soon, apologized and asked to go another time. In front of his father, he experienced almost religious horror. Furious, his father could hit him, but more often resorted to the system of punishment of his own invention. If Andrei jammed, his father took him a Land Cruster and gave him an old jeep-mitsubishi, on which he sometimes went hunting. For Andrei, it was a last nightmare, because, as he said, now he will have to move on “this fucking stool” for two months.

Of course, he did not stop squinting. In this case, his father took bank cards from him and transferred to his bicycle. By the standards of Andrei, this was a final shame - there was nowhere to fall below.

For me, this is still a paradox. Rich children are sincerely afraid of their fat fathers, but this does not prevent them from indefinitely in full behind them.

August evening, a couple of weeks after the next party in the country, Andrei called me and said in a muffled voice: "I was accepted by garbage."

It turned out that he ran into somewhere wild hemp and took him to his cottage. On the road there was a small post of traffic police. Some fat Gazets, squinting from the sun, lazily waved him with a stick. Instead of a summer residence, Andrei went to a pre -trial detention center.

He was given a suspended sentence, so he was still easily escaped. True, Andrei was not afraid that he would be imprisoned, but that his father would learn about it. The incident managed to keep secret, besides, no one learned about the laboratory. So Andrei’s sentence was quite satisfied, but I convinced him to accept this event as a sign of fate and cover his “hemp farm”.

“Anyway, nothing grew there,” he said, and on the same day destroyed all the traces

If Andrei jammed, his father took a lot-cuper from him and gave him old Jeep-Mitsubishi

In the evening, Andrei informed us that now, by court decision, he would have to take tests to the drug dispensary every month. For the first few weeks, he reveled in a mineral water and even took me a jar of creatin, which I wore in a rocking chair. On the Internet, he read that creatine and mineral water accelerate the withdrawal of cannabinoids from the blood.

But in the second month, something went wrong. The day before the next visit to the drug dispensary, Max and I sat at his house and played the prefix. Andrei warmed up something in the kitchen, from where System of a Down screamed from the speakers.

Suddenly he guiltyly entered the room, coughing in the womb, lay on the sofa and covered himself with a blanket. Sensing something was amiss, I went to the kitchen. On the windowsill stood a vodnik, the whole room was blue from smoke.

I flew into the living room.

- What are you doing? You will take tests tomorrow!
“Boys, I can't do that,” came from under the blanket. - Why is Bob Marley, for example, smokes - and he is a legend, and I, as I smoked, - so immediately a drug addict?

I sighed, sat on the floor and took up the joystick again.

Against the system

It was necessary to do something, and Andrei's plan was ripening quickly. He went to the pharmacy, bought two springs and handed this good to us: “Boys, I beg. Find someone until tomorrow. ”

We went home on a minibus, shaking on bumps, the sprint jumped in the inner pocket of my jacket. I felt like a complete idiot. I was not going to look for anyone and was just angry with Andrei. But Max called some kind of athlete from the rocking chair.

I don’t know how he started this conversation and why that guy agreed, but at an hour X Andrei hid the sprint into his underpants, crossed himself, and we went to tests together. When he entered the door of the drug dispensary, his mane bounced anxiously at every step. We were nervously silent in the car until he got out of the building with a wide smile on his face.

Oddly enough, this adventure was a success to him. On the same evening, Andrei rolled a party in a restaurant. He even put on a shirt and trousers, the existence of which I did not know.

“I have a toast! -said Andrei, pouring Jack Deniels. He lifted the glass and smiled. - For the fact that we fucked the system! "

“Why is Bob Marley, for example, smokes - and he is a legend, and I, as I smoked, are so a drug addict right away?”

After that incident, I decided that it was time to end our friendship. Andrei was too problematic, and being next to him was simply dangerous. The longer you are friends with a person, the more of his new faces you open, and I liked the edges of Andrei every day.

Without grass, he was foolish, he began to drink in a large way and constantly bite with someone in the bars. The neighbors all the time complained about the noise, and Andrei once every couple of days found out relations with the cops who arrived.

“To behave so to the person who is on the convent is an unheard of luxury,” I told him and asked to be more careful. No persuasion helped.

In the end, once I told Max: "We must drain it." To my relief, he agreed. I still did not know where to start and how to say to Andrei that our paths were dispersed. As a result, I did not come up with anything better than extinguishing and not picking up.

Andrei called for a month, he wrote SSMESSKA, and even left the sad graffiti "Where are you gone?" On my wall on VKontakte. The most interesting thing is that I also stopped communicating with Max. We stupid about six months and lost. We seemed to be not there for us to gather together.

The next time I saw Andrei only two years later.

How I protested Taras Shira , Konstantin Valyakin , Tashita Bell employment, an expanded social package and “comprehensive support” - a reader of Samizdat about how United Russia attracted students against the backdrop of protests

A completely different matter

It was summer, and I finished the first course of the university . Together with the company of classmates, we went to the beach, played volleyball and smoked hookah in the sand. I downloaded the press, dangled on the horizontal bar and cherished everything a dream to meet someone. There I met Andrei.

At first I did not even recognize him: he swept, cut his hair and was in horn glasses with blue lenses, like Johnny Depp. Andrei lay on a deck chair, crossing his arms over his chest, and examined me for several minutes. I had to approach.

“Great,” I said.
“Well, hello,” he answered.

Andrey has changed. It seems to have matured. From the back seat of his car (now it was Lexus), scattered chips disappeared, and Andrei Shlefil himself “Fahrenheit” himself. He has a style. And most importantly, he began to resemble a balanced person.

Without saying a word, we decided not to discuss the cause of the disgrace. He worked in his father’s company, and in his free time he turned the designs in Photoshop and riveted some video. An electric guitar disappeared from his apartment, and tripods and cameras appeared in its place.

We began to be friends again and, I must say more firmly. Because Andrei introduced me to ecstasy.

It began with how he conspiracy he took out a zip-locker with crystals from his pocket.

“It begins,” I said, “do not even offer.”
“No, this is completely different,” he answered. - You yourself will understand everything.

I refused for a long time, imagining how my heart would stop and Katafalk would take me away. A roaring mother will stomp nearby. For some reason, the words of Mark Renton from the film "On the needle" were immediately remembered. Well, these are his “choose life, choose real estate and washing machine” when he goes into sunset under the track Born Slippy.

In my imagination, I died and, moreover, not at all romantic - with pinched pants and in my own vomit.

But Andrei several times unobtrusively returned to the conversation, shaking the bag, and at some point I could not resist. We began to arrange Trip-Walk, took girls and could walk six to seven hours, passing almost entire areas of the city. I didn’t want to eat the rest of the day, so on our travels we took only a mineral water and a pack of orbit. We lay on the embankments and met the dawn, rode on the wheel wheel and took a picture on an empty morning highway, imitating the Beatles. At these moments, we were the happiest people in the whole city. This thing saved me from the complexes, and Andrei, as I understood much later, purely physically had to be in a state of buzz. He simply did not know how to live differently.

On the street of dead drug addicts Anna Narinskaya , Victoria Kim Anna Narinskaya thinks how drugs lived and killed next to her and why with hatred for them we actually justify completely different feelings.

Be like at home

- Do you want to give the keys?

I then began to communicate with the girl, but I had nowhere to invite her. My apartment - a koroshka next to the station - was not entirely terrible, but my mother and brother were constantly at home.

And the apartment of Andrei was luxurious and, most importantly, often empty. In the two years that we did not communicate, from a caricature of the Polormansky den, it turned into a lounge-assembly with a bright parquet, an aquarium almost into human growth and Andy Warhol’s reproductions on the wall.

- Wow! Wow! I said.

Andrey smiled and shrugged:
- Keys on the shelf!

I quickly learned to open the door to the girls as if it were my own apartment. Especially they were fascinated by the aquarium. “And here I have a mini-bar,” I said, continuing the excursion to the kitchen and back to the room.

Andrei, as I understand it much later, purely physically had to be in a state of high

Of course, the next incident did not force itself to wait.

Andrei arranged the next gatherings where I could not come - I was preparing for exams. Which, in fact, saved me, because the next day there was no living place on Andrei. A knocked out tooth, a blue face and swimming eyes-some guys burst to him at night and beat him and his guests.

It turned out that Andrei quarreled with some bandits. I never recognized the details, but Andrei reluctantly admitted that all this is because of drugs. For several months now he was blackmailed and came to his house: at first those guys just thumped and shook money from him, but then he gave them a tablet, and then a laptop. Finally, they promised to lag behind him if he rewrites an apartment on them. I did not believe my ears: Andrei, it turns out, was about to go to a notary public, but until the last merged and stopped taking the tubes. So they came to talk and recall the deal themselves.

The apartment was in ruins: a hastily erased from the parquet is blood, the earth sprinkled from flower tubs, and chains of traces from dirty boots leading from the kitchen to the room and back. So that no one calls anywhere, they took the phones from all those present. The ivory shell shell was in red divorces - there the young men washed their hands. They left only in the morning.

But I often took girls here and did not suspect anything.

“These fagots lay into my aquarium,” Andrei tapped the glass thoughtfully, luring the fish. He respected fish and loved more than people.

Bike

I remember he stood in the corridor, and I literally shook him by the collar. Andrei dangled like a gutta -percha doll.

“They went fucking,” I almost yelled, “change the number, live with my parents.”
“You don’t understand,” he said, “this will not work with them.” This is a completely different level.
- You don't understand that. You don't see that this is the limit? This is a full bottom. You have nowhere to sink below.

Two weeks later, we were already going to the Investigative Committee, the sun was shining, girls giggled on the bench. Andrei took his two beaten friends - today there was to be a full -time bet.

Like two years ago, I again sat gloomy at the entrance to the state institution and waited. First, his friends were released, and after half an hour Andrei himself came out. He slowly hung up to me and sat down on the edge of the bench: “I refused all the accusations. I'm scared".

Когда я уже было подумал, что с ним всё безнадёжно, Андрей впервые принял правильное решение. На моей памяти, единственное за всё то время, что я его знал.

Он рассказал обо всём своему отцу — и вопрос был решён быстро и эффективно. Он достал все видеозаписи, начиная от подъездной и заканчивая записями с магазинов и углов соседних домов, и выяснил, на чём приехали эти ребята и кто они такие. Очень скоро бандиты исчезли, и больше я о них не слышал.

How I was hidden from surveillance postal service , Konstantin Valyakin , Marina Alef a sealed lens, wire bugs and secret agents around. Читатель самиздата страдал от бреда преследования и привык жить в постоянном страхе

Отец Андрея даже не стал лишать его материальных благ — наверное, решил, что тот и так настрадался. Через месяц у Андрея было новоселье: он сказал, что не может жить в старой квартире, потому что «мешает психологический блок», и переехал в новую.

— Я начинаю новую жизнь, — заявил он мне с порога. — Больше никакой наркоты!

Часа через три, когда все гости либо спали, либо уже разошлись, Андрей напился и пошёл за сигаретами в магазин на углу. По пути сцепился с соседом, который жаловался на громкую музыку, и домой вернулся, громко хлопнув дверью.

— Эта сука хочет вызвать ментов!
— Умоляю, давай без приключений.

Он посмотрел на меня обиженно:

— Не гони. Я прочитал книгу об управлении гневом.

Менты всё-таки приехали. Андрей встретил их на лестничной площадке и после короткой словесной перебранки схватил одного из них за грудки: «Вы мне, суки ментовские, этой сраной статьёй всю жизнь испоганили! He yelled. — Ненавижу вас! НЕНАВИЖУ!»

Раздался треск — это второй мент пытался оттащить Андрея и порвал ему футболку. Я молча зашёл в прихожую и надел ботинки. Делать мне тут было больше нечего.

Андрея забрали в участок, а я поехал домой.

***

Где-то через год мы встретились на улице: я переходил пустую дорогу и увидел знакомый лексус. Он не посигналил. Да и я сделал вид, что его не заметил.

Последний раз мы столкнулись не так давно — осенью 2018-го. Был самый час пик, а он ехал на велике. Он бросил на меня беглый взгляд, дёрнул руль влево и уехал. I didn't see him anymore.

О плохих компаниях, слезах мамы и вере в лучшее завтра — читайте в книге Тараса Ширы «Помечтай ещё мне!»

The crazy millionaire on the tank is looking for friends Stanislav Kuptsov , Evgeny Shcherbina , Lena Gordeeva as the heir to the chemical corporation John Dupon opened a new type of parrot, invested millions into American sport and shot his dream on the spot