Knife in the back

It’s scary to get away from Tyran’s husband when there is no one nearby. Only five small children who need to be saved

He said: "I’ll kill you, sit it and go out, and the state will perfectly raise children."

Marina has five children. Three girls and two boys. The eldest Dasha is ten years old, the youngest, the laughter of Steshe, will soon be five. When you look at Marina and her children, the lips themselves are blurred into a smile. I would like to laugh with them, gnawing juicy peaches in the kitchen and, climbing my feet on the sofa, watch cartoons on the phone. The worse the story that they had to endure.

Caring tyrant

Mom died when Marina was barely nineteen. Father did not live with them, appeared in Marinina's life episodically. It was pointless to count on his support. Marina was left completely alone. And in the household sense, little adapted: she was her beloved mother’s daughter, her mother always took all the worries about the household. And with the finances tight. College student, penny scholarship. Marina was completely confused.

Support came unexpectedly - from a neighbor. An adult, twenty -two years older than Marina. It looks like such a solid and reliable man. It will feed the potatoes, then he will remind you about the hat and just go to talk. Attention, care, warmth, which was so lacked by an orphaned girl, was conquered. Marina fell in love. He called to marry - she agreed without hesitation. She was not embarrassed then that the neighbor really did not work and rolls scenes of jealousy for any reason. Marina loved, forgave everything and really wanted children from her beloved husband - Dasha, Tasyu, Egorka, Misha, Stesha. But every year the husband became more aggressive. Insults went on assault. Every time Marina hoped that this was an accident: "He apologized, pass, it was guilty." And the husband stopped being shy of children. He shouted with them: "I will tear off your mother Boshka." He grabbed the knives. He drove Marina around the house.

Girls look out the window of a neighbor in their new house photo: Rimma Avshalumov

“Once I was in the hospital. He stuck a knife in my back. Doctors themselves reported to the police. A criminal case was brought against him under an article with a punishment of up to eleven years. He sobbed, swore that this would never happen again. And then I was pregnant. I forgave him, ”says Marina. But, of course, nothing ended on that. All oaths were soon forgotten.

The reason for the next outbreak of aggression could be anything. The husband did not really work. Basically interrupted by random earnings. Marina says that in eleven years that they lived together, her husband worked for two years. He did not allow her to go to work, lived on children's benefits. But as soon as the younger Stesha gripped to the kindergarten, Marina got there first to the kitchen, and then a nanny in a nursery. The husband continued to rage and arranged wild scenes of jealousy due to delay for five minutes. All Marina's feelings died for him. The last straw was the outbreak of aggression in her good, delicate six -year -old Yegorka. She was scared. I realized that I had to leave. It is impossible to pull more and hope for something. She does not want to disgust the life of children. She does not want the children to grow in such wildness. “My husband had the same dad. Driving mom. It was the norm. I'm scared that my children will grow the same. That my boys will beat their wives. And to endure my daughter and wind the snot. I do not want my children such a life. ” But where to go, when in their hands are the children and the salary of the younger teacher of the kindergarten?

Mother-rush

Marina understood that she had no funds to rent an apartment and transport children to her at once. It takes time to prepare everything. There was nowhere to live: the apartment was not privatized, she and her husband are both registered in it. He himself will not leave, and he never had his housing. But she did not want to endure her husband anymore. Marina turned to local social protection and guardianship for help. She explained the situation and asked for a while to put the children in a socio-rehabilitation center. Previously, they were called shelters.

Usually, custody of custody is scared and written mainly about how they forcibly seize children and terrorize families. But it happens that guardianship really comes to the rescue. Not everyone knows that any parent, having been in a difficult life situation, can write a statement and temporarily place children in the SRC for a while. Such a parent is not deprived and not limited in parental rights, he can visit his children in the center and take it back without consequences when the situation is being improved. Sometimes SRC is the only salvation and hope in a situation where a single mother needs to go to the hospital herself or with one of the children. Not everyone has relatives or acquaintances who can shelter for several weeks or months.

Marina horror stories about the shelter was not afraid. Last summer, the children went to the SRC to the summer camp and knew how everything was arranged there. I explained everything to children honestly as it is. Why are they leaving home from dad. Why you need to live a little in the children's center. Tolerate a little, then to live together in a new house. “They saw how we lived. Nothing was hidden. So everyone understood, ”Marina assures.

Marina with children on the site in the square near the new house photo: Rimma Avshalumov

But those around them reacted negatively to this step. They whisked, and even directly in the face, expressed that she had abandoned the children, handed over to the shelter, they would no longer give them to her. Mother-rush. “It was a shame that they think so about me. For me, children have always been the most important. And then she spat and said to all reproaches: “It’s not for you to judge me. You did not go through the fact that we passed,” says Marina. She herself lived with some acquaintances or others. I was looking for an apartment for renting that they had enough money for them, and every day I visited the children. The salary of the younger teacher, almost like everyone else in the vicinity, is the minimum - 12 thousand rubles. But Marina found housing. That's just the apartment was almost empty. She asked in social protection whether anyone would give unnecessary beds or sofas. The inspector promised to find out, and she called the Constant charity foundation.

New life

“Such good homemade children in the SRC, my mother rented an apartment, let's help them with furniture,” Julia Lyubishkin recalls this call, coordinator of the Constant Foundation in the Bezhetsky district. The fund is often connected and comes to the rescue precisely after such calls from the departments of social protection. The Tver region is huge, who really needs and what help, from the outside is not always visible like the inspectors in the field. Julia asked whether the family has maternity capital, and offered a more radical option - to buy an apartment, and not waste a rental.

The proposal of the Constant Foundation help to buy a separate apartment by adding the missing amount to maternal capital, Marina first took on bayonets. I could not believe that some people just decided to help her with housing. What if they deceive? Moreover, the condition was to put the children back in the SRC, while they are looking for a suitable apartment and prepare documents. I wanted to pick them up as soon as possible. Marina asked for time to think. And then I realized that it was stupid to refuse such help. They are already "without a roof and without pants." Coronavirus also made his contribution to this whole story. The authorities were closed, and the children with the beginning of the quarantine were forbidden to visit. The court of marriage was remotely passed. On the eve of the May holidays, Marina finally took her kids and brought them to a new house. In the SRC, the children spent five months. Now they have their own large two -room apartment, in which you can not hide under the table when dad with a knife runs after mom. Marinin’s husband did not believe that everything was seriously seriously. Even when they were already divorced, he called - he asked why she did not come home. “He calls and asks:“ Why are you ruining everything? ” He thought it would frighten me so that I would not grow old. And I think: “Well, how I managed, there were so many good boys good. And I chose this.” On the other hand, well, it would not be him, there would be no such children. ”

Children of Marina on the site next to their new house photo: Rimma Avshalumov

Home violence stories are largely similar. Those who were not under the yoke of a home tyrant often ask the same questions: “Why didn’t they leave, why to endure, why gave birth to children.” They were lucky not to understand how scary to take the first step nowhere. Especially in a small provincial town, where such a family way is still almost the norm, and the status of a “ non -man” for a man is almost indulgence from any other sins. Marina found the strength to leave. She was not left alone with her children with her misfortune.

The Constant Foundation is the only one in the poor Tver region provides systemic multilateral assistance to families with children in a difficult situation. Sometimes from well -being to a crisis only one moment - a fire, illness, loss of work, death of a loved one. People break if you do not extend your hand in time.

Marina with children at the new house photo: Rimma Avshalumova

“Constant” helps legally and financially, brings products, helps to make repairs, restore the house and even recover from alcoholism, if the ward is ready to be treated, but he himself cannot cope. The fund does everything so that the children remain in the family, and the family stopped drowning. Let's help the Constant itself survive, work - to be a rescue circle for those who need help. Please issue a monthly donation for any amount!