"It is scary not to find your place in the new world." Seven stories about the influence of self -isolation on the psyche

The autumn wave of incidence of coronavirus recalled the events of spring, when a tough regime of self -isolation was introduced throughout Russia. And, although the government promised not to resort to such harsh measures, many still feel that they are limited in freedom of movement. How will this affect their mental state in the future?

“Such things” talked with people about how self -isolation changed them in the spring, and asked them to send the photos that they took during the quarantine.

Pauline

23 years old, school teacher

According to Polina, at the beginning of quarantine, she did not feel special changes. She was transferred to the remote, and she calmly worked for a month and a half - she even liked to work like that. Then the mood began to change.

“At first I was just sad that on a sunny day I could not go on Pokrovka and not drink anything. Then the tantrums began, ”says the girl.

View from the Polinyfoto window: from the personal archive of Polina

Once the TimeHop application - it shows posts published on this day a year or several years ago - issued posts with the summer festival. Polina saw photos from the concert early in the morning, and she had a panic that she could not leave and meet with relatives and friends. Such attacks began to occur constantly.

After the abolition of quarantine, Polina was no longer easier. She says that she had to buy a sedative in order to somehow cope with the self-isolation: “On the street, I was just tired of being constantly around and observe the distance, sometimes I even hold my breath.”

The girl believes that "has become paranoid"

Despite the fact that Polina really missed classmates, she still does not know whether she is ready to go to the meeting with them.

“I don’t know what will happen next, nothing can be planned. This is also a reason for my anxiety, since this year was very difficult, I was sick a lot, worked a lot and is very tired. Lokdown chopped off all the possibilities to relax and recover physically and recover, ”the girl says.

Lisa

19 years old, correspondent in an Internet publication about cinema

“I have never had panic attacks, no sleepy paralysis, etc. But when self-isolation began, I found myself with a friend, the news reports scared a lot, my mother hysterical and threw various materials terrible, there was some kind of complete misunderstanding of what was happening and what would happen next, ”says Lisa.

Lisa did not leave the apartment for two weeks. In the second week, she had insomnia. “Maybe I really wanted to sleep for about a week, but when she went to bed, she closed her eyes, as if she had failed somewhere, and then abruptly emerged. I enveloped fear, even panic, my heart knocked. I was tormented and afraid to close my eyes at night, ”she recalls.

View from the window in the Lizifoto room: from the personal archive of Lisa

After the quarantine cancellation, the girl still continued to sit at home. Then she left for her hometown and is now trying to spend more time at home or in nature. “When I get into the accumulation of strangers, I am very nervous and annoyed,” Lisa admits.

Natalia

51 years old, senior seller

“We left for the cottage as soon as all enterprises closed - March 29,” says Natalia. - We decided that living in nature is better than wretched in four walls. When we arrived, snow lay around. Trying to move more, we scattered it, hollowed the ice. Every day we went for a walk twice, about an hour. ”

Natalia recalls that at that time there were very few people in the gardens. There was silence. One could hear the birds sang: "You won’t see this in the city."

When the ice drift began, for several days a roar of ice floes was heard, breaking on the rifles of the dam

“We lived all the quarantine in the garden until May 12, until my store opened. Time in nature runs very quickly. Every day, in the evening, a barbecue with meat. Spring killed gloomy thoughts on the spot. My husband and I are not tired of each other absolutely. On the contrary, I remembered the honeymoon. I liked it very much, but the lack of money was oppressed, ”says Natalia. “I did not know how long it would last and how to then survive without money further.”

Dacha Nataliifoto: From the personal archive of Natalia

With the whole family, they sat without earnings for a month and a half. Natalia admits that now there is no confidence in the future. “The daughter was called to work, but they did not issue, so as not to dismiss again in the fall. Nobody needs us. Especially to employers. No one pays the average [salary], as the president promised, pays. It was an oppressed state, but distracted outdoor activities, walks and barbecue, ”says Natalia.

Svetlana

25 years, credit controller

“I have never encountered such experience before. As a child, I fell [to the hospital] with a broken leg for two weeks, and then friends and relatives visited me. All my life I had been sick for no longer than a week, ”says Svetlana.

At the beginning of quarantine, Svetlana was worried that he would greatly affect the country's economy and a crisis would begin. “I am an accountant, I work in the office. We were transferred to the remote and halved the hours of work. And I have a mortgage and housing rental, so the financial issue is most concerned about. The feeling of stability in the profession has become even more shaky, new professions appear, something becomes unnecessary. It’s scary not to find your place in the “new” world, ”says Svetlana.

In the apartment of Svetlanafoto: From the personal archive of Svetlana

“For the first month I felt stress and“ jammed ”it with harmful food like chips, french fries and sweet from the nearest bakery,” she admits.

By the end of quarantine, Svetlana found positive aspects in him. She devoted more time to the house, to loved ones, pets, paid more attention to her hobby, better spilled out, there was less stress from communicating with people and less expenses on “coffee and cigarettes” at work and travel in transport.

Vitaly

26 years old, archivist

At the beginning of quarantine, Vitaly felt a feeling of "approaching the end of the world." He coped with stress with the help of his favorite classes: “I went with my head in my own activity - music, books, training. I felt more comfortable than to quarantine, because I could spend strength on what I was interested in. ”

“Towards the end of quarantine, I was tired of sitting at home, but the intensified sense of uncertainty was more worried,” Vitaly admits. “In general, I was disturbed, but still stable.”

Vitalyfoto Winter: from the personal archive of Vitaly

After the abolition of the self -isolation regime, Vitaly, the feeling was preserved that the quarantine did not really end: “Uncertainty: the world has not yet returned to the previous state, so it is still impossible to make plans and maintain confidence in the future.”

"Everything returns to normal, but very slowly, and still in this one is felt some kind of catch."

Gregory

30 years, accountant

“I felt sad due to parting with friends and colleagues, but I was sure that this would not last long and soon we would see each other again,” said Grigory. - I can note that I experienced emotional excitement from what was happening, it was so unexpected for me. I felt a small adventure began. ”

By the end of the quarantine, this mood was replaced by fatigue and irritation. Gregory admits that he was most affected by abbreviations at work, a decrease in the working week and salaries.

“I feel disappointment and anxiety about the future. I am suspicious that we, our society, deceived, used and robbed and continue to do it, ”says Grigory.

Gregory and his cat at home during quarantine) from Gregory’s personal archive

After quarantine, he tried to restore the previous familiar lifestyle, more often to see relatives and friends. “I still feel significant uncertainty, fears and anxiety before the future, but I want to say that I believe that everything will work out,” he says.

Eugene

19 years old, museum caretaker

“With social isolation, I was already familiar due to a depressive state, which continued from a couple of weeks to a couple of months. But this experience is significantly different from the past, since I came to a clear thought to start treatment with depression, ”Eugene admits.

At the beginning of quarantine, Evgeny was overcome by anxiety due to uncertainty, but thanks to psychotherapy, he managed to focus on the tasks that he could control. The absence of a five schedule has positively affected: because of the quarantine, the museum was closed, and Eugene was able to fully focus on health.

Eugene at home: from the personal archive of Eugene

“I won’t be cunning, anxiety never left me and immersed me in powerlessness, I missed meals, did not get in touch, embraced by anxious thoughts. There were also specific events: the deaths of acquaintances from depression, divorce, conflicts with the authorities, fear for myself and the relative with whom I live and who works on ambulance. Friends, antidepressants and psychotherapy helped to cope with this. I realized that much is not subject to me and is worth learning to live with it, ”says Eugene.

The availability of treatment during this period played a crucial role. Eugene says that he was lucky to call up with competent specialists who helped him. By the end of the self -isolation, his mood became more controlled.

“I have learned so many things, thanks to which I live much easier than at the beginning of the quarantine. I do not think that there are fewer threats, but the attitude towards them has changed. This gives me faith in itself, ”says Eugene. - Now the future seems more tangible, there is confidence in making plans and accept failures. I would not say that after quarantine experience I still had fear. Rather, a slight alarm mixed with curiosity. ”

Authors: Anna Kalashnikova, Anastasia Kataeva