Home without Katya

Katya looks from telephone photography at his mother, dad, at the brothers, smiles at me. Until the display goes out

Help a house with a lighthouse help

I never saw you. Even your photo opened only for a second, briefly, and then your mother removed the phone and cried. And again she began to talk about how everyone loved you.

I didn’t hear you. The video where you run away, laughing, mom is still afraid to turn on. In your do , no one laughs anymore. Here is empty, clean and cold on the floor from the balcony door. Behind the wall, in the only room, you died a month ago.

I will look there in the end.

Love photo: Vladimir Averin for TD

It will be dark there.

* * *

Katya made it. After two sons, Lyuba and her husband wanted a daughter. The girl appeared. Grounded quickly. For some reason, she was silent until four years old, and at four she spoke quickly and easily. I went to kindergarten, and then to school, to first grade - in large white bows. She succeeded and liked everything, especially the Avocado dress and overalls with protruding ears, and a cartoon about Sonya’s dog, smart and funny.

But once in the fall, Katya could not, as before, easily climb the backpack to the fourth floor where they lived.

"What are you like an old woman?" - Lyuba joked.

Love photo: Vladimir Averin for TD

A month later, she complained: "Mommy, I have some kind of bump under the skin in front." Lyuba felt the ribs. Lyuba called the doctor.

“You have an anomaly of the development of the ribs - a forilet at the end, this is an innate pathology,” the surgeon suggested on the way. Lyuba demanded a referral to an X -ray - they did not find a pathology. But they found an inflamed lymph node under the right armpit. Katya began to cough, the temperature rose, the appetite disappeared. Katya was put in intensive care, they took a puncture. They found pleurisy.

In her little lungs, liquid accumulated. Breathing was hard and scary. Katya was tormented by examinations and CT, until they confirmed: "A pathological fracture of the right rib and a tumor, it is necessary to cut urgently." Katya was painful - the tumor squeezed the nerves. From pain, Katya twisted her legs at night. Katya hardly sat in bed, the tumor did not allow to breathe. Lyuba was afraid that the daughter would not undergo surgery, and they pulled time. The tumor could not be cut completely, but not because it was “too close to the vessels”, there was simply no necessary equipment in the hospital.

Love photo: Vladimir Averin for TD

Lyuba blames doctors who gave the tumors to grow. Lyuba blames doctors who ran away from her along the corridors and did not give answers. Lyuba blames doctors who, having learned that after the operation, Katya cannot get up, shouted: “What do you want at all, do you understand what cancer is?” Lyuba blames everyone.

For Katina, the pain and endless Katina are vomiting. For the lips and tongue cracked from pain. For a catheter clogged with Katin tears, for her nights in cold desisional resuscitation, where Katya was not allowed to drink. For the non -prosecuted chamber, where everything was a somersault. For the non -visited, low, crazy desperate herself. For Katya's farewell to her parents.

She then asked them to hug. With her, with each other, in turn and together. She asked them not to cry. Katya smiled at his cracked lips, through her fear and her pain. Katya was not anesthetized.

Lyuba in despair screamed at the whole corridor: “Do you have children in general? Help her, help! " The doctor helpfully suggested: "Let me give you a separate ward, you will get enough sleep and come to your senses?" Lyuba did not understand anything.

Love photo: Vladimir Averin for TD

When Katya was transferred to the oncology department, it became easier. She began to give anti -war drugs. Lyuba wrote letters to the metropolitan centers of oncology - the name of Blokhin and the name of Dmitry Rogachev. In response, refusals came: without three times a confirmed diagnosis, we do not take it. We took weeks, histological analysis did not return, there was nothing to confirm the diagnosis. Katya was prescribed chemotherapy only when she began to choke and wheeze.

The diagnosis was made - the Joeing (Askina) tumor, two ribs on the right. The first chemistry reduced it by nine centimeters. Katya fell out of hair, Lyuba began to take off his hand, legs fell ill. By the end of the third year, the doctors admitted: “The tumor either decreases or grows again. We cannot do anything. ”

Lyuba’s sister began the collection of funds for treatment in order to try to save Katya abroad. There was enough money for Turkey.

“I did not understand before why children fly away from Russia,” Lyuba whispers. - But I understood with Katya. Due to the quality of medicine. We were immediately told that histological analysis was not fully done. And immediately made PET CT. The metastases were already everywhere. They changed the treatment protocols and performed a second operation-we removed part of the lung, front chest muscle, metastases in some places. But Katya was no longer saving. ”

Love photo: Vladimir Averin for TD

From Turkey, they moved to the Moscow Region. Lyuba hoped that in the capital Katya would be able to anesthetize. She found information on the Internet about the children's hospice “House with a lighthouse” and wrote a letter asking them to take them under guardianship. Having received consent, the family returned to Russia. Only Katya's pain grew.

Katya was attached to the Pulkovo outpatient clinic as part of the Krasnogorsk city hospital No. 2. I am recording this because I want everyone to know what happened to Katya at the end of the journey. On December 23, 2020, a doctor from the children's hospice “House with a lighthouse” calculated and prescribed Katya the correct dose of Morphine “To stop breaking through the breakthrough pain”. It was necessary to get the recipe in the clinic. From this day they spent every day there.

The clinic said that there were no suitable prescription forms, wrote recipes with errors, reproached Lyuba for the fact that Katya uses too much morphine, threatened with searches and detentions, threatened to check the children's hospice; In pharmacies there was not enough ordered morphine, I had to go to other cities near Moscow.

Lyuba wrote to the Ministry of Health, to Roszdravnadzor and the prosecutor's office: “Deputy chief physician of the GBUZ MO Krasnogorsk city hospital No. 2 (children's clinic No. 2) Silkin Svetlana Vladimirovna Hamit, threatens the family, leaves the child without the minimum reserve of the necessary drugs, insists on the forced hospitalization of the child and the election of custody and the police.” Doctors and lawyers of the hospice fought for Katya anesthetized, contrary to bureaucracy and inhumanity of doctors near Moscow, brought the family medicines and consumables, advised Lyuba.

Love with a picture that she recently painted. The cartoon fox was one of Katya's favorite characters. She stands on the screensaver of her smartphone - every day love makes sure that he does not discharge. Love says that only when she finished the picture, I realized how much the fox here looks like a daughter photo: Vladimir Averin for TD

Katya was gone on February 5.

* * *

Mom said that you had the most beautiful wreath - with toys and flowers. And the most beautiful coffin is white, with gilding, in growth to you. You lay in it in a new overalls with your ears, your beloved purple color. Parents laid you with them a lit nightlight-a lamp-butter, so that it was not scary and dark.

I was afraid to ask how many batteries would last.

Two months have passed.

Love photo: Vladimir Averin for TD

Maybe the butterfly is still on.

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Editor - Yana Kuchina.