"I have a family in St. Petersburg and Ukraine"

On the night of February 24, Vladimir Putin announced the beginning of a military operation in Ukraine. “Paper” spoke with the Ukrainians who live in St. Petersburg, and the Petersburgers who are now in Ukraine about how the war has already influenced their lives.

Maxim

Located in Odessa

- I am in Odessa, people with suitcases go and go to the station. The trains are only evacuation, as far as I know, people want to leave for them to Western Ukraine.

Taxi has become more expensive. Traffic jams on suburban tracks. At the gas stations, you have to stand for an hour, or even two. In some stores, the lines begin on the street. Coronavirus? Social distance? Sorry, have not heard.

In chats and tape, everyone is only talking about the war and what Putin P ****** (bastard - approx. "Paper" ). We follow the news on Medusa, Radio Liberty and Suspilni - this is the Ukrainian media.

People do not know how to respond to sounds similar to explosions. Many woke up from them today. Few people expected this, although there were concerns. In previous days, everyone was divided into two camps: the first believed that it was x ****, n ***** (lies - approx. "Papers" ) and provocation, the latter collected alarming suitcases. Inside the companies and in general, through the channels of information distribution at the beginning of the year, they told what to do in the event of war. We joked about the work plans: "Let's discuss after the invasion." It seems time to discuss.

I try not to panic, but the nerves are rumbling. I collected things in case of departure. While we are discussing with friends where to blame. The best option is the Carpathians. There are mountains, snow and calmly. Some have already left.

Mom in Siberia looks “Putin-TV” and says that everything is right. I ampinally grinding my teeth. But this is with her since 2014.

Two things help to maintain control and tranquility: love and meditation, which leads to love. That is, as a result, it is still only love.

Whatever the ******* (villains - approx. “Papers” ) I have my compatriots, thanks to which all this is happening now, I understand that they are just people. The Aztecs had a saying: "The Earth is slippery." That is, everyone on it can be hard. Easy to stumble. I really want to blame someone, insist on justice, but, by and large, they all went to the ass. And ours and yours. Sorry. He could not restrain himself. I'll go to meditate.

Elizabeth

Located in St. Petersburg

- I'm from Odessa, this is the south of Ukraine. I have the whole family of Russian, lived in Russia, but it so happened that they ended up in Ukraine. This morning [I] took place in a fierce panic. At night I put the phone in the aircraft mode, in the morning I turned it on, and an avalanche of news collapsed on me. I am subscribed to several Ukrainian publics and several publics from Odessa. Everywhere there was conflicting information: Ukrainian sources said that Ukraine wins, Russian - that Russia wins. And it is not clear who to believe.

I began to call my mother, who lives in Ukraine, communicate with the family, and [turned out to be], they relate to this on a relaxation. My whole family is in Ukraine and, unlike me, they do not panic at all.

I suspected that the LPR and the DPR were recognized, but I felt that Russia would attack the fifth point, but I did not think that it would happen like this: somehow vile, at night, as in 1941.

This is very scary, and now I feel like a traitor, although I have been living in St. Petersburg for four years, and bought an apartment, and with one foot in citizenship. Now I just don't want to be here. It’s very painful, sad, ashamed, and very scary for my family and for myself too, maybe it sounds very selfish, but it’s scary that Russia will be in complete outsiders: you won’t leave here, and you won’t come here. I am afraid that Russia will be closed for good, like North Korea.

Vladimir

sent from Kyiv to Lviv

-In the city [Kyiv], hellish traffic jams, everyone goes everywhere, somehow, even along the sidewalks. Continuous blood pressure is not going on, but rather tightly. We have been leaving from Kyiv and we have been going to the highway for more than four hours. People stand at stops, vote with signs, ask them to be taken somewhere towards Western Ukraine.

In the morning, explosions were heard from the windows. After five in the morning, we phoned our friends and drove in cars in Lviv. They gathered quite calmly, but took the most necessary.

Watching the last events, I was all the time as optimistic as possible and hoped that nothing would happen. He believed to the last that it would cost that they would agree, but the inner feeling of anxiety, of course, was present. I was not preparing [for this], but the sensations were mixed.

There is no panic, there is no fear, but there is anxiety and confusion. Because it is not clear how long everything will be, it is not clear what to do. You always feel confusion when you do not control the situation.

Friends and acquaintances of plus minus are the same emotions, someone has a little more, someone has a little less. My family lives in Poltava, there are quiet, relatives are worried, of course, but so far they stay there.

I don’t know what can help calm down. Most likely, only the belief that it will once end, and everything will somehow decide. The belief that soon, perhaps the main tyrant will finally discard the hooves and will be better.

Julia

Located in St. Petersburg

- I have been from Lviv, I have been living in St. Petersburg since 2010. The morning began as usual. I have no habit of reading the news. While I finished all the morning affairs, I did not even have time to pick up the phone. About ten my mother called me, then I found out about the war. Bol and experience, probably the most powerful emotions. Another misunderstanding and sadness. There were thoughts that there would be military operations, but did not think that on such a scale. How can you expect a war? We all sincerely believed that this was impossible. And now it is very difficult to believe in what is happening.

I have many relatives, friends and acquaintances in Ukraine. Throughout the country. But the most dear in the same city, in the west of Ukraine. It is also very painful and anxious. They are relatively calm so far. The necessary things have been collected, in case it will be necessary to go into the shelter - they are aware of where to find it. They try not to panic, but this is not easy.

The most valuable now is the support of the family. I have a family in St. Petersburg and Ukraine. Ukraine is my own home. I want to cry all day. But I believe that this will end soon, I really hope. Love for people, understanding the value of human life. You need to think about it! We are all different, [we] are different goals and desires. But human life is priceless!

Anna

Located in St. Petersburg

- I have been studying in graduate school and have been living here for more than two years. She left Donetsk back in 2015, when she graduated from school, and my mother and grandmother stayed there. Mom teaches at the university.

The events of the last week have become a human indicator. There are people who asked the question: "Oh, do you have an airport there, so you can fly away?" And in general, they did not understand what the fighting could mean. There are those who are constantly asking how I are doing, how my family is doing, how to help. And there are those who are ready to even come by car to pick up my family. And such people, conversations with friends are the only thing that saves and does not allow me to cry for days.

This morning, in some telegram channel I saw a small message: "Russia attacked Ukraine, news here." I thought it was an evil joke. But when I realized that this was true, my hysteria began. It was impossible in my head. Probably, I also felt in 2014 (under the crisis in Ukraine in 2013-2014-approx. “Papers” ), because I remember in detail the day when Ukrainian fighters flew bombing the airport. Only this time there was much more fear.

Mom and grandmother decided not to leave, because taking into account the events of eight years ago, this seems pointless. Then we left for a few months, but when we returned, nothing changed: I almost did not sit in my room by the window, I went a little much. And then everyone was used to it, after a few years, complete fatigue came, because life became very complicated.

When I saw friends in Ukraine a month ago, of course, there were a lot of aggression among people among people. If you look at the Ukrainian Tiktok, there is generally fear! And even with my love for Ukraine I felt oppression, because I speak Russian. But no one expected this, no one wants a war among ordinary people, they just want Russia to lag behind Ukraine.

No matter how scary it was to recognize this, I got used to such sensations as now, I lived with them for two years. But now I have much more support and just empathy helps to survive [what is happening]. I always read the chat [of friends] “Papers” . When I read about how others calm down, talk and help each other, it helps me a lot not to feel lonely and understand that I can always ask for help.

What else to read:

• How to read news about conflict around Ukraine and avoid misinformation?
• Enter the Club of Friends of Paper to support our work.

Photo on the cover: David Frenkel