Translated material
"I am breathing with them"
How do-it-volunteers from different countries help people during the fighting
Since February 24, chats of volunteer psychologists began to appear on the Internet. In them, people who are in the combat zone, and those who experience stress due to war can receive free consultations. “Cold” talked with psychologists from different countries about how they help people in the current situation and how war affects the human psyche.
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"When it all ends, many people will have long -term psychological consequences"
Natalia Starkova, Kyiv
On the night of February 23 to 24, I was anxious, I did not sleep. Explosions were heard in the region of four in the morning. I immediately decided that since fighting began, I would begin to voluntarily advise people: I found services to provide free assistance and sent them my data.
Firstly, when I am in strong alarm, it is difficult for me to do nothing-when I act, it becomes easier. Secondly, I am a psychotherapist of crisis conditions and I know how to work with people when emergency incidents are taking place. Now there are many volunteer psychologists who had not previously worked in such situations, and I spent a webinar for my colleagues and the live broadcast how to help a person in a panic, strongest anxiety or hysteria.
Now I see that mostly people experience fear, anxiety. Some feel aggression. This is also a normal reaction - in a situation of stress, the body is preparing to fight, protect itself and loved ones. Among those who were able to leave and who live in neighboring countries, many are guilty, shame and impotence. Last night I spoke with a woman from Belarus - she said that she was crying and could not sleep, she feels bad because she could not do anything to influence the situation in Ukraine.
Many have somatic reactions to stress: the heartbeat quickens, tremor appears, hands and legs can become numb, his head seems to become cotton. For those who are prone to panic attacks, they are now more common. Another common reaction - people cease to fully breathe and do not notice it. Breathing becomes short and jerky.
When a person in severe stress addresses me, the first thing I do is to make contact with him. So that he feels that he is not alone, I am near and listen to him, I am emotionally turned on. When the contact is established, it is important that a person calls his feelings. It is difficult for many to talk about what is happening to them, it is a shame to be weak. It is very important to "unload", say aloud about experiences. This is already changing the state of a person.
Some in the process of consultation begin to be distracted from what is happening - they tell cases from life, recall stories from the past. I listen and support them. For them, distracting for a short time is a way to survive, survive the current events.
If a person is in stress, it is important to return it to his own body. I tell people during the consultation: “We get up. Stop your feet, move your jaw. ” I breathe with them, so that they heard: a deep breath, then exhale.
I myself am not so far from hostilities and worry about what is happening. Today I turned to my colleague and mentor for psychological help, when I felt that aggression was covering me up. We discussed everything, I made conclusions for myself. For example, I realized that I was not ready to help people with requests not related to the current situation.
The fact is that not only those who are worried about the war, but also those who want to get advice on other issues, for example, about a romantic relationship, are now contacting free services. Sometimes this is Russians. It causes me bewilderment. I am ready to work with people from Russia and Belarus, who are worried and scared by what is happening, but now it is difficult for me to speak with those who are trying to maintain neutrality and abstract.
After the weekend, I noticed that the people who are addressing me began to gradually change their mood. For example, there is a girl with whom we talked three days before, and she was hysterical, and today her voice sounded calm.
Gradually, the first shock passes, people begin to accept the fact that the war has begun and they cannot do anything - especially those who live in the eastern and central regions, where the fighting began first of all. In the western regions there are still people who have not passed the stages of denial and anger.
When it all ends, many people will have long -term psychological consequences. How expressed they will depend on the psyche of each person, on the state in which he was when the traumatic situation occurred, and how he experienced it. Most likely, those who “live” their feelings give free rein to tears and anger will return to normal faster. Those who mobilized and do not give their feelings may later encounter depression, panic attacks, PTSR, migraines.
Now many of us have no time to mourn the lost - our own people, freedom, confidence in others, a sense of security. Therefore, in the future, we still have a stage of grief.
"Try not to predict a catastrophic future"
Anastasia Bardian, Sochi
I have been a practicing psychologist and for the fifth year I have been helping adults to cope with difficulties. In the past, I worked on the hotline of the Russian Fund, where people were addressed in a crisis situation. When the war began, a lot of chats and instagram accounts appeared, where volunteer psychologists worked. Many of them are students and novice specialists who have no experience in crisis situations yet. I decided to do volunteer work because I realized that my help could now be especially useful.
I began to hold free consultations a couple of days after the announcement of the war. Nobody called me from Ukraine yet - to be honest, I think that in the current situation, most people from there will prefer to call the Ukrainian psychologist, not Russian.
But there were calls from the southern cities of Russia, which are located near the border. People are also afraid there, they heard explosions near the house and worry that at any moment the fighting can begin where they live.
The main emotions that people experience in such situations are fear for the future. But what if the projectile gets into the house? What if I take the child to kindergarten and never see him again, if everything collapses? Many cannot sleep normally and eat because of anxiety.
In cognitive-behavioral therapy, there is such a concept-catastrophization. This is a habit of thinking in which a person comes up with the most terrible options for the development of the future. This greatly increases the level of anxiety - because it is she who is mainly connected with the thoughts that it has not happened, but it can happen.
I see that some people who turn to me are so involved in what is happening that they cannot think about anything else. They constantly read news and social networks and do not pay attention to what is actually happening around them. This feverish reading of news leads to devastation. My task in such a situation is to calm a person and help him return to the present. We do not know how long the current situation will last. It is necessary to protect strength and remain clarity of consciousness.
For those who cannot cope with anxiety, I recommend, firstly, to prepare for a possible emergency and draw up an action plan. Gather a bag with the necessary things, think about where and how they will go if there is such a necessity. If a person has a clear plan, it calms him a little.
The second recommendation is to learn not to run away with thoughts forward, to try not to predict a catastrophic future. You need to train such a habit: when you feel that you are with thoughts somewhere in the future and endlessly imagine how bad everything will be, to return yourself at the moment where you are actually being. To say to yourself: "I'm at home, here are my children, you need to cook dinner."
Third-if a person is in a safe place, you need to find at least some lesson that can become a resource of forces. It can be meditation, sports-something that a little can do a little every day.
The fourth is to learn how to cope with anxiety at the moment when he “covers”. Respiratory techniques help for this. It is better to breathe slowly and not chest, but with a stomach. In four accounts - inhale, seven - exhale.
Another recommendation that I give to people now is to limit the time for reading the news. I know that there are situations when it is very important to follow what is happening. But it is better to agree with yourself at least small regular breaks.
Current events will have psychological consequences for many people - both in Russia and Ukraine. Even for those who are safe, what is happening can be traumatic. One girlfriend today told me: "I feel sorry for people, I sob and cannot stop." Now a lot of people are dying - not from old age or illness, but from cruelty and military operations. These are unnatural deaths, frightening. I also see that there is more and more aggression in society, and it clouds consciousness to people. All this will affect our well -being.
"We cannot change events, but we can still be responsible for our actions"
Tomiris Ahmet, Almaty
I believe that we are all responsible for the world. If you want to change something, start with yourself. I cannot influence the events that take place around, but I can make good and love to become a little more.
I live in Almaty, in the very center of the city. When protests began in Kazakhstan in January, I was in the thick of the events. I remember well how it was: you fall asleep on New Year's Eve under the roar and you think that this is the noise of the salutes. And then you wake up at three in the morning because the noise does not stop, and you understand that these are explosions of light grenades, not fireworks.
It was terrible: you see how literally they beat people under your windows, you hear automatic queues. There is no Internet, even the news cannot be read. Cellular communications within the country worked, and I began to do what I could - to communicate with those whom I know and help them.
I think that the people in Kazakhstan experienced then, and what the inhabitants of Ukraine are facing now is like an emotional level. When a crisis suddenly occurs, people experience shock, fear for their lives, anxiety about the future.
When Ukrainian events began, I began to voluntarily work with people who need help, in one of the psychological chats. This work is not always similar to standard sessions. Some are sitting in bomb shelters or basements with a group of other people - they can communicate only in writing or voice messages. Communication does not always work.
The psychological state is very different for everyone. Some just want to die. One woman told me: "I wanted to go to hang myself in the barn in the morning." I see two extremes: some people fall into apathy and do not understand how to live on. In others, aggression wakes up - and such that they can even beat their loved ones.
There are those who internally grouped, tensed up to survive all this, suppressed emotions in themselves and cannot even cry. This is also a normal reaction - so the psyche tries to protect people from feelings that can flood and be very painful.
When I work with people who were near the fighting, first we are trying to determine what kind of emotions they experience. When at the time of shock a person suppresses feelings in himself, they seem to “get stuck” in the body, clamps, discomfort can appear. We understand exactly where in a person these emotions are “sitting”. And then we move on to let them go - to give free rein to fear or tears, to release what has accumulated.
The next stage: to show a person that apathy, aggression or harm to oneself is not the most effective way to live all this. Discuss what can be done here and now, how to find internal forces in order to cope with what is happening.
We say that we cannot change the events that occur. But we can still be responsible for our actions and, as far as possible, take care of ourselves and maintain contact with loved ones. I recommend that people at least gradually perform routine work - this helps to return thoughts at the moment.
For those readers who cannot or are not ready to seek psychological help, I recommend breathing deeply. For example, inhale into four accounts, then hold your breath for four seconds and also, in four accounts, exhale. You can also breathe in eight accounts and exhale by ten. This is very important that oxygen enters the brain and keep contact with the body.
When we feel the threat, a feeling may appear, as if crushing in the chest or abdomen. They may go numb. In this situation, it is also necessary to breathe. You can still fold your hands on your chest, stroke yourself on the shoulders and say: "I'm here, I am safe, I am alive." If possible, you need to try to drink more water and - most importantly - try to mentally be here and now.