“Mom said:“ I will not eat with one plate with one plate ””

"I did not have fear of the army because of LGBT orientation"

Anastasia Kobets, 24 years old, crooked horn

I have long been interested in military affairs. I studied at the Kryvyi Rih Medical College and a few years ago I thought to go to serve as a military physician to serve as a contract. But I was stopped by Covid - I decided that in the pandemic I was needed more in the covid department. And now, when the war began, I stopped postponing it, because I have knowledge and skills with which I can help many people here. I would not be able to just sit at home or go abroad, I would have shrew myself for not going to help our guys.

On February 24, I was on a shift in the hospital, and after lunch I went to the military enlistment office. The line was kilometer, it was unrealistic to get there. I went home, signed up through the site to the territorial defense, and I, as a medic, took me out of line. I signed the documents and stayed there, they just brought me things later. At first we lived in the city, but for the past three months I have been outside the city, where there are positions. We live in dugouts. I am at home, if you're lucky, once every couple of weeks.

I had no fear of the army because of LGBT orientation. I immediately decided that I would say about her to his colleagues in the near future - I did not want rumors to go. No one had a negative reaction. Many began to ask questions, they say, how it was a girl and a girl, tell me. Some said: "You did not surprise us, it is clear that you are an unconventional orientation."

Now in my unit everyone knows about my orientation and everyone is loyal to this. There are jokes, but those that I myself can laugh at. But so only in my unit. I have a lot of LGBT acquaintances in other units, and they are infringed there. In our army there is homophobia, unfortunately. Especially in relation to men. When they see a girl with a girl, they still treat normally, and gays for military personnel - like a red rag.

The army treats me with respect. Our company is 95 people, and I am a company physician. Among all of them, I am one girl. Perhaps in other companies, someone is faced with pressure or violence. Although recently I no longer hear about negative situations with LGBT among my friends in the army. I think that the fact is that now everyone is focused on the war, and no difference in this situation, LGBT or not - everyone should fulfill one task.

In recent years, the attitude to LGBT in Ukraine, it seems to me, has changed for the better. Five years ago, I could not walk around the city by the handle with my girlfriend: someone would definitely come up, began to ask, pester, pursue. But in recent years, more and more people began to openly declare their orientation, and it has normalized. I believe that right now we need to talk about your orientation and not hide. The more people open from LGBT representatives, the faster the same -sex marriages can legalize.

"How so, you are gay - and still serve in the army?"

Pavlo Lagoda, 20 years old, Ivano-Frankivsk

I went to serve in the army before the start of the war, last spring, and I still have an urgent service. And since the war has now begun, then until it ends, I will be in the service.

After school, I wanted to go through the army, including in order to prove to my mother that I was capable of a lot. I am from a very believing family, for a long time I could not accept my orientation - I thought it was a disease. When I opened my mother, she reacted incomparably - shouted: “Fucking, my son fag!”, Wrapped: “God, whom I adopted” (I am a foster child). She put a plate separately to me and said: "I will not eat with one plate with a fag." Once, during a quarrel, she said: "It would be better if you died than my husband." It was about my father, who was hit by a car 10 years ago. And I took a knife with her and cut my veins very much. After that, my mother cried a lot, apologized. Here we have reached such a quarrel.

Now we communicate well with her - the war was reflected not only on me, but also on my mother. She realized what important role I play for society, and now she constantly says to me: “It is difficult for me to accept who you are and what you are doing, but I eventually saw that you have become a man, you have changed both externally and internally, grew up.” And she began to realize and appreciate it, says: “For me, the most important thing is that you return home alive. When you return home, do what you want. This is your right, you are already an adult, and this is your choice. ”

My friends dissuaded me from the army, said: "They will beat you there when they find out who you are." But I decided that I would go to serve anyway. I do not regret it, I understood that there would be some difficulties, because before the army I was already open gay. I wanted to make a camming out in the army, but in the end, the colleagues recognized by accident. It so happened that the commander called me, and if he calls, I need to run immediately, and I forgot to turn off the phone - I left him in the barracks with a burning screen on which there was a correspondence with a guy. The correspondence was with piquant photos. When I returned from the commander, I saw how the guys were standing and laughing at my photos. Naturally, they realized who I am. The reactions were different. Someone said: "How so, you are gay-and still serve in the army?" Someone did not care. Then they realized that I did not carry any threat to them, I did not offend anyone, I didn’t pose on anyone, I didn’t paw anyone, and began to calm down a little.

There were cases when they could hit me, kick or something else ( Lagoda told me how the colleague stuck Shampoo in him.-Approx. "Cold" ). But now, colleagues do not raise the topic of LGBT, because it doesn’t matter to anyone. For everyone, who are you.

Here I now felt my role and felt my role. Of course, I never wanted to be in war. But what happened happened. The first days was very scary, my hysteria was straight when I saw a fighter flying above us, I heard the sound of a projectile from artillery. But over time I got used to it, got used to the thought that tomorrow I may not wake up.

I really miss my boyfriend, we communicate in the video. He understands me well, he served in 2014 as a military physician, was captured for six months. I have many LGBT acquaintances among military personnel, we have a chat in which more than 150 people, including officers. I am friends with many of them. We always help each other.

I do not have familiar generals who would openly say that they are gays. Even before the war, one familiar general told me that if the general admits that he is gay, for a soldier he will lose his face. Therefore, it is more difficult for them to admit due to the risk that they can be fired or obvious.

I was offended when [the adviser to the head of the Office of the President of Ukraine] Alexei Antystovich said that LGBT is people with deviations. Frankly, before the start of the war, I watched the arrest and thought: “God, what beautiful words he says, how he understands everything!” But then the person opened on the other side. At the same time, it seems to me that our president is good to LGBT. He is a media man, all his life worked with gays - costume, makeup artists. Under Zelensky, the situation for LGBT became better than under Poroshenko: we realized that we can protest, arrange a gay march and feel safe in the streets.

During the war, this topic became relevant than ever, because many citizens began to realize that they are protected not only by ordinary soldiers, but also to people like us. We also showed what we are capable of. We not only walk with rainbow flags. We are ordinary people, we must fight - we will go to fight.

Before the war, I never studied how other countries live and, moreover, was not interested in how Russia lives. But when the war began, I found out how everything is bad there in relation to LGBT - they were so blocked by oxygen that they do not have the right to express themselves. In Ukraine, otherwise, as you see, I can give you an interview, no one in the army prohibits me. War is cruel, but impetus for our country, the ability to change something.

"One company can be very tolerant, and the other homophobic"

Alexander Shadsky, 23 years old, Kyiv

Since the beginning of the war, representatives of the LGBT community began to declare more about themselves due to the fact that we want to be as far as possible from Russia with its constraint in views.

Now you need to live every day as the last, because you do not know what awaits you tomorrow. It must be told to the world that we exist and among LGBT there are also many soldiers who protect the country. No one can say that LGBT Persons escaped from the country because they were afraid to go to war or hid somewhere. This stereotype breaks under the pressure of the materials of journalists who illuminate this topic and help LGBT community.

I can’t speak throughout the army, because one company can be very tolerant, and the other homophobic. But I showed the photos of my boyfriend to our fighters, they are in the know. They calmly treated me both before this knowledge and after.

I began to suspect about my orientation somewhere in the seventh, but there could be no question of school about a camming out. Firstly, because you are a minor, you think that parents, classmates and peers will say. Secondly, there used to be discrimination. She still is there, but when the war came and we wanted to move away from Russia, the discrimination has decreased.

I do not plan to continue to be a military physician - this is not my specialty. But after February 24, the military became medical care. Despite the fact that I have a faculty of pediatrics and we study children, I understand how an adult organism works. I studied at a medical college, and we were given knowledge there almost in the field, because even then the ATO began ( an anti -terrorist operation, we mean the fighting in the east of Ukraine. - Approx. “Cold” ) and we were prepared with military emphasis.

In general, it is now felt that the car has moved, a petition appeared on the legalization of same -sex marriages in the country, in a month with a little she gained more than the President of 25 thousand votes for consideration. If it is considered, this is a good first step. Now LGBT has a chance to declare itself.