"I could not say the crotch."

The stories of women who are faced with postpartum problems

According to WHO statistics, more than a third of women do not receive medical care in the first days after childbirth. Because of this, they may have health problems, including disabled ones. “Cold” talked with women who could not cure injuries after childbirth, about how this changed their life.

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"If I knew about risks, then I would never have pregnant"

Anna (name changed at the request of the heroine), 31 years old

I gave birth recently, in early July. This was my first pregnancy. The fights began themselves, but I had to pierce the fruit bubble and make an episiotomy ( dissecting the perineum and the posterior wall of the vagina to avoid arbitrary tears. - approx. "Cold" ). But when the placenta came out, there was a rupture of the left wall of the vagina. The seams were applied to me (internal and external ones - in the place of the gap and in the place of the cut), and instead of growing up, they parted. After giving birth, I thought that the worst was already behind, but it turned out that no.

I noticed the problem in the hospital: on the third day after birth, air began to come out of the vagina. But at that moment I thought that maybe the uterus was reduced. I did not understand why all girls in a couple of days became physically easier, but I did not. I don’t remember exactly what the doctor said: there were a lot of people and very quick rounds.

I had constipation at home, so I set myself a rectal candle - but it leaked out of the vagina. Then it became clear to me that I had a hole between the vagina and the rectum. I immediately called the hospital, but the doctors said that they did not encounter such a thing and did not know what to do. Then I was invited to a proctologist’s consultation, who explained that I have a rectovaginal fistula, but I need to wait until the end of October: maybe the hole itself will overgrow. He did not offer any treatment. Then I went to Moscow in a panic, where I was appointed an operation, but it was impossible to do it with inflammation - it was necessary to cure it first.

Now I have gases: if the chair is soft and there is something to flow out, then it flows through the vagina; If more dense, then only part follows.

I have this hole, a fistula, is located quite low, almost at the entrance [in the vagina], so it is easy to process it and there have been no infections yet.

After going to the toilet, I always take a shower, make douching, process the vagina with the ointment that was written to me. And every day I go to the processing of seams to the hospital. I am washed with antibiotics and antiseptics, but the internal seams have not grown together.

Since childbirth, I constantly feel pain, I can’t sit, it’s hard for me to stand for a long time, walk, keep a child. My husband works, so my mother and mother -in -law help me: the child constantly asks for his arms, and I can only take him for a short while.

Gaza can come out at any time, with sound and unpleasant odor: on the street or in a spacious room such as a supermarket, this is not a big problem, but you have to avoid close contact with people. After childbirth, I have not met anyone yet. I would like to invite friends to visit, but not ready for this.

Even during pregnancy, the doctor recommended not to have sex, and my husband and I were really waiting for the moment when it was possible again, and now everything was deposited. I'm even afraid to imagine how much.

After the doctors informed me about the rectovaginal fistula, I thought: if I knew about the risks, I would never have pregnant. Then, when I spent more time with my child and attached to him, I changed my mind, but the first thoughts were just like that.

Doctors say that after surgery, childbirth will only be possible with a Caesarean section, but it is a little strange for me to hear that at the moment that I have health problems, I should think about the second child. I have not planned a second child before, but now - definitely not.

“Have you come here? You can't have incontinence "

Sasha (the name changed at the request of the heroine), 31 years old, Saratov

My pregnancy was simple, but in the last week I had a multi-witness, and the child has a dual entering the umbilical cord on my neck ( because of this, the fetus may experience oxygen starvation, and multiple entanglement can completely block oxygen access for childbirth.-approx. “Cold” ). The birth lasted a day. A few hours before the end of the birth, when I did not have the strength left, I asked the doctor if it was possible to help me somehow, but he said that it was too late to do a cesarean. The situation became dangerous: the child disappeared, I periodically lost consciousness. The child was very slowly moving, because of this I deformed the fabrics and ligaments of the pelvic floor. They also made an episiotomy, and the place of seams for about a month hurt so that I could not sit.

Immediately after giving birth, I started incontinence. We had a chamber of joint living with my husband, and he helped me: I was pouring from me, the child was crying, I had to wipe it - this is a tin in general. But in the hospital I did not attach any importance to this, and for the doctors it was the main thing that I go to the toilet: if I go, it is already good.

I was discharged in February. There were -25 degrees outside, we sat at home, so I somehow coped with incontinence. And in March, when the child was a month old, we led him to the doctor - incontinence happened right in the clinic, and I rode home with wet pants.

I wrote about the problem of my doctor from the hospital, and he said that everything should go through soon. After that, I turned to two private clinics. In one of them, the manager said: “Oh, you know, I also had this: childbirth with a Caesarean section and then incontinence. Everything will pass. " She did not even conduct an examination. The second clinic said: “Everything is fine with you, what have you come here? You can't have incontinence. ” And in general, the attitude was dismissive.

As a result, my walks with the child lasted a maximum of an hour, then I called my husband to change me and [went] home to the toilet - they coped with such short dashes. My husband even had to switch to the remotes to help, because I can’t lift weights - he is mostly my daughter.

Seven months after birth, I turned to the regional hospital. There, the doctor did not believe at first either, but then he made me an X -ray, and the problem was confirmed. I was prescribed hormonal therapy, but it is incompatible with breastfeeding, so they decided to wait with it. As prescribed by the doctor, I do Kegel's exercises : at first I did not feel my muscles at all, now it has become better.

Recently, I paid for two quite expensive consultations in Moscow and Yekaterinburg, and the last doctor finally explained that most cases undergoing a breakdown after childbirth, but a sling operation may be required (installing a synthetic loop that prevents uncontrolled urination. - Note of the cold) , the cost of which can reach 200 thousand rubles. The doctor did not recommend that the surgery in Saratov not recommend it because of obsolete methods and materials. She advised the clinic in St. Petersburg, but first I need to get there for a consultation. It may be possible to go in winter: the price stops me and that the operation helps not in all cases.

I began to use special urological gaskets about eight months later, when I realized that it was impossible to live like that.

Now I am learning to live with my problem. But it is difficult to realize that every day I have to walk with a urological laying: it is huge, you constantly need to think about what clothes to put on so that it is not visible. I feel especially uncomfortable at a party where the gasket is filled because I am not particularly monitoring whether I went to the toilet or not. And in the summer there is a smell. Hygiene is very important to me, and this is all unpleasant.

"Doctors accused that I myself was to blame for my injury."

Natalia, 42 years old, Ufa

Five years ago, I gave birth to a third child, daughter. Both the first and second births passed normally. This time I arrived at the hospital at 07:30, and at 08:20 I already gave birth. The midwife simply stood and caught the child: my daughter actually flew out of me. The vagina was sewn up without anesthesia, only sprayed with lidocaine.

The feeling that something was wrong with me, I had appeared in the hospital: after giving birth, there was constant pain and a feeling of heaviness in the crotch. But the doctor said that everything is fine, just in a year it would be necessary to make the crotch plastic. And my crotch, one might say, was not: it was not clear where the anus was, and where the vagina was, it was just a mess. When I saw this, I had a tantrum. And two months after giving birth, I had a stomach disorder with a liquid stool and incontinence, which did not pass.

I went to the doctor in a antenatal clinic, but they told me there that everything is fine. The diagnosis of “ruptures of the crotch of the third degree with damage to the sphincter” was only then put in a paid clinic, and they said that this was treated only with the operation. There is a rectovaginal partition between the vagina and the rectum, and I had a hole instead, and the sphincter was torn.

Through my acquaintances, I found a specialist who said that everything was not so deplorable to go to Moscow, and offered to do an operation to restore the sphincter in his clinic. There was nowhere to hurry: according to the rules, this had to be done on the first day after childbirth, because fresh muscle ruptures fuse better, and then there is practically no difference. Therefore, I had the first operation only a year and a half after childbirth. I lay in the hospital for three weeks, I was all the time in painkillers due to hellish pain, while the operation did not help me: I understood this in the hospital when, against the background of antibiotics, I started dysbiosis and a fecal incontinence happened again. The doctor said that you need to wait, but nothing has changed.

I began to look for other doctors and got to a specialist from Moscow State University, who is engaged in the postpartum ruptures of the sphincter. Having examined me, he was surprised that there was some kind of operation in general, because the gap of the sphincter remained.

I went to the second operation in March 2021, but already in Moscow. I was restored anatomy - now I again have a sphincter, crotch and a rectovaginal septum. But each operation is an intervention after which the nerve endings suffer, and the muscle can no longer function as before. Therefore, I never got rid of incontinence.

In the Burdenko hospital, they put me a neurostimulator that fits the pulse into the muscles of the sphincter. But in my case, this operation also did not bring much improvement. Doctors say not to despair, because there should be a cumulative effect.

I have already accepted what I could not completely get rid of incontinence. I used to think that I would do an operation and forget everything like a nightmare - I lived with this hope. After the first operation, when it became obvious that it did not work, I began suicidal thoughts. I lived like a robot, did not experience any emotions, panic attacks occurred. Then I turned to a psychotherapist. At that time, I was already undergoing therapy with a psychologist, but it became obvious that treatment was needed more seriously. I was given post -traumatic stress disorder, sleep disorder, depressive condition and prescribed tranquilizers that I have accepted for a year. After that, it became better for me, I worked out the injury as much as possible.

Before the first operation, I started a blog on Instagram, where I told in detail how the treatment took place. Girls began to write to me - there were a lot of them, and each had a story similar to mine. After communicating with them, I decided to create a support chat in WhatsApp. At first I led the blog anonymously, and when I realized that there were a lot of people with the same problem, I decided to talk about everything with an open face.

There are girls whose families have broken up because of this problem, and there are quite a lot of them. Not every man can withstand it. There was such a story: the girl constantly talked about her problem, using her husband as a psychologist, but he was not a psychologist - and could not stand it. I say to everyone: it is better to contact a specialist than to dump everything on a person who cannot help. But there are, on the contrary, those who do not tell a husband and spend a lot of effort on hiding all this.

A few years ago I sued the hospital in which they took birth. There was one decision in my favor, 150 thousand rubles, but, alas, this amount is much less than that I spent on treatment. I turned to different media, I wanted to get public: I thought that this would help me in litigation. I even went to the NTV program. After the broadcast, they left terrible comments, it was very difficult to read it.

The worst thing I encountered is the accusations of doctors, that I myself am to blame for my injury, since I supposedly have unnatural anal sex. And also, that I buy non -existent diagnoses about the rupture of the sphincter. I was able to survive it, and many women are afraid of such accusations.

My family and I moved: I could not live in Kumertau, where all this happened. I am still in constant voltage, if I need to go somewhere-for example, to visit-I sit on a hard diet so that nothing provoke increased gas formation or diarrhea. Everyone knows about my problem, but I still understand how unpleasant people are if, for example, the smell appears.

Previously, I worked as a psychologist in person, but now I switched to an online practitioner: it is difficult to stay with people in the same room. I also work remotely at the bank and finish additional education in trauma therapy.